Unwed Fathers Fight for Babies Placed for Adoption by Mothers

The New York Times ^ | March 19, 2006 | Tamar Lewin

[Giant Conservative]

Jeremiah Clayton Jones discovered that his former fiancée was pregnant just three weeks before the baby was due, when an adoption-agency lawyer called and asked if he would consent to have his baby adopted.

"I said absolutely not," said Mr. Jones, a 23-year-old Arizona man who met his ex-fiancée at Pensacola Christian College in Florida. "It was an awkward moment, hearing for the first time that I would be a father, and then right away being told, 'We want to take your kid away.' But I knew that if I was having a baby, I wanted that baby."

Mr. Jones has never seen his son, now 18 months old. Instead, he lost his parental rights because of his failure to file with a state registry for unwed fathers — something he learned of only after it was too late.

Under Florida law, and that of other states, an unmarried father has no right to withhold consent for adoption unless he has registered with the state putative father registry before an adoption petition is filed. Mr. Jones missed the deadline.

Although one in every three American babies has unwed parents, birth fathers' rights remain an unsettled area, a delicate balancing act between the importance of biological ties and the undisrupted placement of babies whose mothers relinquish them for adoption.

[Jeff Chandler]

A baby is a baby. No baby should be called a "bastard". Shame on you.

No, shame on those who have removed the concept of shame for irresponsible behavior, resulting in more bastards and more abortions.

[CindyDawg]

I know this was a common term to describe children out of wedlock in the past but why do you need to keep screaming bastard? Do you just like hearing it? We are all aware of the situation. This man should have a choice. He should be able to decide (not you) if he can care for his child or not. It's about rights. Men don't have any. It may be ok with you for society to want yall out of the picture but it isn't ok with me. Usually we see dads that could care less. We call them selfish and deadbeats. This young man steps up to the plate and says I can love and care for my kid and gets smacked. That isn't right.

[Jeff Chandler]

the best interests of the baby is to be with their father.

Agreed. The loving, married adoptive father.

[Finalapproach29er]

He is thinking about himself. A real man puts the good of his child above his own feelings.

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A real woman wouldn't be discarding her own child and lying to the father.

Why is the man always blamed? Is this whole nation brainwashed aginst men?

[JohnnyZ]

First, the man is a father, not a "so-called father".

Screwing a woman does not make a man a real father. It makes him a sperm donor.

[CindyDawg]

He deserted her?

[Jeff Chandler]

It's about rights

The right of the bastard to be raised not as a bastard but as a normal adopted child in a loving married (man+wife) family.

[Giant Conservative]

You've made "shame" one sided: I don't see you shaming the biological mother, just the biological father!

If she has a right to raise the baby though it was born out of wedlock, so does he. Fathers should not be treated under the law as having any lesser right to custody of their children than mothers have. No child is put up for adoption over the bio-moms objections unless she's proven unfit; no child should be put up for adoption over the bio-dads objections unless he's proven unfit. And since conceiving a child out of wedlock isn't considered sufficient grounds to hold the bio-mom as unfit, it isn't sufficient grounds to hold the bio-dad unfit either!

[Jeff Chandler]

Why is the man always blamed? Is this whole nation brainwashed aginst men?

Sure the woman has loose morals, but at least she is thinking about the child at this point. Adopted children are lucky. They have adoptive parents who love them, and biological parents who love them enough to give them up for adoption so they won't be raised as bastards.

[Giant Conservative]

Biological fatherhood makes a person a biological father and gives him the presumptive right to raise his own child, which in turn is in the best interests of his child.

What is the source of your strange need to denigrate men who do want to raise their own children? Shouldn't you spend your time going after those women and men who don't care about their children?

[Jeff Chandler]

You're wrapped up in the issue of equal rights for rutting horn dog males and easy females. I'm only concerned about the child having a mommy and a daddy.

[CindyDawg]

There are some wonderful adoptive parents out there. It's a roll of the dice though. What if the adoptive parents divorce?. Should the judge give the child to the mother? The dad? Foster services?

[Giant Conservative]

I believe in equal custody rights and believe that children belong with their real father.

[Jeff Chandler]

What if the adoptive parents divorce?

Then it would be the same as if the kid was their biological child. But that arguement is a diversion

[CindyDawg]

Are you adopted or have adopted kids?

[Giant Conservative]

What if the adoptive parents divorce?. Should the judge give the child to the mother? The dad? Foster services?

Good question, since the adoptive parents situation could easily turn into a single parent situation even a year later...statistically, it's quite probable!

[jess35]

So, calling a child a Bastard is going to result in fewer "bastards"? You would advocate stigmatizing a child to punish his/her parents?

[Jeff Chandler]

I believe ... that children belong with their real father.

An adoptive father IS the adopted child's REAL FATHER. I cannot believe there is an adult who does not understand that.

[CindyDawg]

No it's not. The child would be in a single parent household. Could this single adoptive parent give this child the love and care he needs or should the child be removed and placed in a two parent home?

[ibheath]

I have read all of your replies, and not once have you given a reason for your statements. So let's extrapolate your position out all the way. I am married with three young children... my wife dies in a car accident... since I am now a single parent... I should give my kids up for adoption to a couple, right???????????

Crickets chirping.......