Gammera! Gammera! Friend of All Children!
Posted on 05/09/2006 9:52:39 AM PDT by kevkrom
Single-issue people.
They're out there... on every thread. No matter what the topic, they try to link it to their pet issue in some way, shape, or form.
They are... The Thread Hijackers™.
While little can be done to stop them, and it is probably best to ignore them, I find it much, much more fun to mock them. Sure, being passionate about an issue you care about is a good thing, but thread hijacking is annoying and, to be honest, turns off people who might otherwise agree with you.
So, on to the mocking.
I'd like to coin the term "H-score" to indicate the number of posts on a thread before someone tries to hijack it with the issue du jour. For example, if the attempt occurs on response #5, the thread has an "H-score" of 5.
What I propose is that when hijacking offenses occur, that they be documented here in the following form:
Thread: Thread title and link
H-Score: Post # on thread containing the offense (first per thread only)
Offender: Screen name of offending poster
Severity: Scale of 1 (low) to 5 (high) on how off-topic the comment is
My Comments: Optional, use to justify severity or just general mockery of offender
Perioidcally, I will go through the nominees and post finalists (for subjective awards) and winners (for non-subjective awards) in the following categories (subject to change at any time):
The issue du jour changes over time. At one time, it was Terri Schiavo. As of the time of this posting, it is illegal immigration. Note that ridicule on this thread is not to be taken as argument over any poster's position, but rather their methods and bloody single-mindedness.
So, for now, nominations will be taken for threads hijacked by "illegal immigration/border control" single-issue folks. Watch this space for any changes.
lol!
Yes, dont forget water. Beer could be used if the water has been turned off.
OMG! Now I have to gouge my eyes out!
*
Can you substitute tuna for coconut?
Breaking seal voids warranty
That too.
You also forgot: May cause liver damage -- your doctor needs to conduct weekly blood tests.
The hammer is, after all, a multi-tasker. Alton Brown would approve.
BTW, did you see this thread? It's really funny too . . . CAN DUCT TAPE FIX BULLET HOLES IN TV?
I would have fun here but I guess I'll not. Don't want to waste my hijackings. Good luck filling out all the forms :)
Never mind. Just remembered a nice little satire I made when bored at school. This is just the intro. I have a short attention span. So here it is...
As you all are familiar with, there exist many matters being discussed. War, Poverty, Drugs… Yet the media takes no notice of an even greater issue. Slavery, Subjugation, Genocide even, of an entire Kingdom. Whether from ignorance or intent, the media continue to ignore this crime. We need to address it. A single insignificant oligarchy became the victor of a conquest, brutally accomplished, and terrifyingly complete. I won’t go into details, but a few examples are: untold numbers dead, the dead not even given proper burial privileges, slavery for all, forced breeding, and even castration. This regime still utilizes its victims to slaughter and take into custody fleeing captives. Nearly ten thousand years this faction has oppressed the fellow members of its kingdom. The lucky merely suffer. In the “moral” places, they’re at best servants. In countless others, they’re hunted, hated, reviled. The unlucky are enslaved, killed, refugized (to force them to become refugees), and, disgustingly, even eaten. No, this is not a race issue. Religion issue. Wealth issue. It is pure and simple specism.
LATER
Thread: Banning MySpace.com on the Federal Level http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1631029/posts
H-Score: 5
Offender: KarlInOhio
Severity: 1 (mild)
My Comments: Fairly typical fare - Why should the government be involved in this when all this other stuff is going on...
Score: Top
Comment: I'm so funny I crack me down.
You crack ME up, too. :-)
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Somebody score this one, I'm still chuckling.
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Somebody score this one, I'm still chuckling.
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