Posted on 11/07/2006 6:10:39 PM PST by Ultra Sonic 007
Post your funny election stories here. Any embarrassing stories? Any gut-busters? First time mistakes?
Well...I'm an election rookie. First time!
College ends for me at 3:15 PM.
I remember that I have to meet with my councilor to discuss registering for classes for the next semester. By the time I get out of UAB, it's 4:10.
You know what that means when heading south from the Birmingham area?
RUSH HOUR.
So it's about 5:00 PM when I get to Alabaster.
And I have no idea where my polling spot is. I registered several months ago, and I've long forgotten where to go.
So I begin a systematic search. Take note that earlier this day between classes, I searched long and hard for polling spots in Alabama. My searches via Google were fruitless (though I did find poll finders for Georgia, Alaska, and Minnesota...).
First is Shelby Crossings. Empty. It is now 5:30.
Next, a church along Route 31 (Baptist I think). Turns out I'm now technically in Pelham. I'm redirected to Silurian Methodist in Alabaster on Route 119. 5:50.
I get there, and I see cars! Joy of joys!
Then I get told that my specific voting spot is Southside Baptist Church.
Some mental anger, but it's fine. I get back to my car and go down along 119. As the clock hits 6:15, I see the LONGEST LINE OF CARS, EVER. "Dude, what is this?!"
It takes me 20 minutes to go one mile. I see the church further down the road! I pull in to the nearest grocery store parking lot and RUN across the road and across a grass field to the church.
The sign says "First Presbyterian Church".
I scream. "You've gotta be kidding!"
I run back to my car. I hear some guys in the midst of the election day traffic call out 'Run Forrest, RUN!'.
I'm in my car, and it is now 6:45 PM. The only other church I can think of is the one by Veterans' Park, so I get in my car and take the long way around to avoid the clogged traffic. It's ten more minutes than normal, but the traffic would have taken longer to navigate through.
I get back on 119. I see Southside Baptist Church! It's so beautiful! I run to the door!
A man opens the door and says that the poll's closed.
It is 7:05 PM.
I get back inside my car. I scream real loud.
And my family has a good laugh at dinner when I get home.
For all of you Freepers who have yet to vote for your first time...take a lesson from me.
Humor ping.
I heard my favorite funny one today. Some bozo told a bunch of poll workers that they didn't know how to use the voting machines so they started choking him and threw his ass out of the voting place. Now that's funny. I don't care who you are.
I voted back in 2004 at college, had to wait a few hours in a very long line. Volunteers walked up and down the lines handing out candy trying to keep people occupied. A couple of Democrat friends jeered me from a distance and told me voting wasn't worth the wait (they knew I was Republican). Not a humorous story but that's as close as I have to a memorable one.
This was in the 2000 primaries.
I entered the polling place, walked up to the table, and gave the poll worker my name. Once he confirmed my registration, there was this really nice little woman (who was 90 years old if she was a day) handing out the ballots. In the local drawl, she asked, "Now honey, are you a Republican or a Democrat?"
"I'm a Libertarian." I replied proudly.
She got an extremely quizzical look on her face, and, after a long pause, asked, "Is that a Republican, or a Democrat?"
TWO HOUR wait at my polling place in north central San Antonio. We're all standing there, talking in line, checking email on our Blackberries and just griping about the line when...of all things...
A PAPA JOHNS PIZZA DRIVER ROLLS UP...
Someone in line had actually ordered a pizza delivered to him in line (no kidding!)...
It was 1980, and the first time I was old enough to vote. My father was explaining the voting process to me for the next day.
"First you go over to the school."
"OK, Dad."
"When you go in the door, go to the head table to check in. Give them your name and address."
"OK, Dad."
"They'll check you off and direct you to one of the voting machines."
"OK, Dad."
"You go inside and pull the lever to close the curtain."
"OK, Dad."
"Then you pull the lever that says RONALD REAGAN."
My mother had a bit of a fit over that, but let's face it, the man knew what he was talking about.
Went to my local firehouse at 7:30 this morning and was out at 7:45. No fuss, no muss. It's always nice to chat with the neighbors while waiting. I was #35 to vote in our precinct, my wife was #10. It took longer than usual because of all the CA ballot initiatives and local issues. I can't remember a time in the last 20 years when it wasn't very smooth and efficient.
Had a couple come into the election place. she was on crutches and I wondered why she didn't vote in the car. They were looking for the place for an 89 year old WWII vet to vote. and wanted curbside service.
They were in the wrong place. So we sent them to the correct precinct. That guy didn't have his workers show up so it was madness there. When they unpluged the last machine in line they didn't put the code numbers in 1st and it took down all his machines. He sent them out.
They came back to my place and the elections clerk said vote him in my pct. provisional and she would make sure that his ballot was counted. (NOTE: in Texas last election not one single provisional ballot was counted)
We voted him at the car and the man thought I was the greatest election judge in the city.
We always get the voters that think our eslate(select wheel) machines are touch screens.
Then there are the clueless folks who wander by who think they should be able to vote even though they never registered.
And believe it or not, we had about 5 voters who weren't in our roster but insisted they were in the right place:
Voter:"Is this Precinct XXX?"
Me:"Yes it is."
Voter:"OK, here's my voter certificate that says Precinct XXX."
Me:"OK, what county is listed at the top?"
Voter:"Oops, sorry."
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