How to convince a kid not to do drugs?

December 14, 2006 | self

[Ben Chad]

I have a friend, a single mom, who has a 16-year-old son who has been seduced by a group of peers into smoking marijuana. They live in an upper-middle-class town in New Jersey, a suburb of Philadelphia. The kid says that 90% of his classmates smoke dope. The mom has grounded him, taken away his computer, will not allow him to get his driving permit, tried to reason with him about legal and health consequences, and things like that. But he seems impervious to reason and says he won't stop the behavior.

[From many - one.]

"That won't help. His answers will be variations of:
"it's fun."
"everyone else has done it"
"I don't care""

Get the parameters of the "fun"

Since "everyone else" doesn't, get the details.

Don't care about what? Why not?

Listen.

[Ace of Spades]

What a great way to get the kid to rebel.

[freedomlover]

Whoa - does Meth bleach yer hair?

[A CA Guy]

Have the mom arrange a nice field trip to the local hard core prison for youths who are at risk. Kind of like scared straight.

Also consider changing schools for starters.

Bottom line is he is a child who thinks he is a man.
Very hard to talk with such a child for sure.

[Radix]

Take him to a hospital trauma ward to see what happens to druggers. (It might be tough to get in, but if you can.)

Later then to a chronic care facility in order to see just how many of them end up for the rest of their lives.

It ain't a pretty site.

[TheKidster]

Buy 12 of those home drug tests. Test each month with the bathroom door open and someone watching him pee in the cup so he can't alter the sample.
Every one he fails he gets a new wardrobe of the goofiest crap she can find at the local thrift store, he gets a goofy hair cut or buzz cut, no music, no out of the house, no TV, nothing but school work and liver and onions for dinner, or what ever is healthy that the kid hates. His room should be stripped bare except for a bed. No phone. Yard work every weekend, or cleaning the house. He can earn back privileges as he proves he's drug free.
His friends will tease the crap out of him for his goofy clothes and lack of popculture knowledge. They'll also tease him for being under the control of his parents and he'll hopefully realize they aren't his friends. There's plenty of time to party and make bad friends/choices when he's an adult, hopefully he'll get over smoking dope by then.

[bigfootbob]

Talk to the kid, mom may have to farm this out to someone he'll bear his soul to, and find out the kid's motive for partaking with the herb. If he likes the stuff, there's not much she'll be able to do. If he's being rebellious, that's another matter.

I smoked the herb at 16 and NOTHING my mom, priest, grandparents or anyone else could say would have made me quit. I tried booze and LSD too, before I smoked weed, I didn't like either so it wasn't an issue after I experimented. (I'm 52 now, been married 29 years and have two adolescent daughters. My relatives thought I was destined for prison back then. It never happened.)

I would not give him any money or buy him "in" stuff like X-Box for Christmas or fashion conscience clothing. All the goodies he'd get from me would be purchased at St. Vincent DePaul or Goodwill's thrift stores, especially clothes.

He's 16, so if he wants cash and fancy stuff, he'll have to get a job to make it happen. Most employers piss test so he'll have to figure out what is more important to him.

This technique will require more involvement than mom may wish to or have the time to expend; i.e. driving the kid to and from work, but if she's serious, she'll find the time.

Other than that there really isn't anything else she can do. She needs to keep the door open to him and be there to help pick up the pieces if and when his behavior leads to additional challenges.

[Smogger]

Yes. Speeding up your metabolism will make you prematurely old.

[wafflehouse]

i see where you are going with this, but your posts tell me you have little experience with this sort of thing.

If he's locked in a room with a bunch of guys who are high they are going to be staring at a TV eating chips, not pulling their eyes out.. it just doesnt work that way

[murdoog]

"Drugs are bad because if you do drugs you're a hippie and hippies suck."

Eric Cartman

[Darksheare]

Little experience?
I got to see first hand what cocaine does.
I got to watch alcoholism.
I got to watch what pot does.
Trust me, I've not touched the stuff due to having watched others do stupid things.

[BarbaricGrandeur]

How to convince a kid not to do drugs?

Learn to become a parent? I don't know, um maybe beat the everlov'ncrap out of em when you catch em. It's traditional and has the advantage of working on rational kids. "Ok ok... this is like the 'hot-iron thing' I learned some time ago... if i tuchy I get burny."

[wafflehouse]

Every one he fails he gets a new wardrobe of the goofiest crap she can find at the local thrift store, he gets a goofy hair cut

LOL now THAT is an original idea.. just crazy enough...

[twigs]

Discipline is not wrong. But I would try the positive approach as well, giving him an alternative he likes. Look for more things to do as a family, things he enjoys. Re-arrange parents' schedule so that a parent is home when he is, at least a lot of that time. He shouldn't be driving. Kids driving at 16 invites anti-social behavior with friends.

[kitkat]

***Oh oh..... the single mom bashers will be here shortly to give you tons of advice.***

Well, they'd be right. My mother kept us kids in line by telling us how much we'd hurt our dad who worked so hard to support us and who loved us so much, if we ever did anything wrong. IT WORKED. Dads are needed.

[Darksheare]

"it just doesnt work that way"

Ever see someone with DT's?
Ever see someone slapping at coke bugs under their skin?
Ever see someone barf their guts up from pot to the point that they are laying face down in their own puke unconscious?
Ever see someone screaming 'tripping daisies' trying to pull their own eyes out?
I have.

[Xenalyte]

Since he is a minor, and his mother is legally and financially liable for him, his motivation doesn't matter in the slightest.

[Darksheare]

He's a minor, his input doesn't matter.
In old tiomes, he'd either be beaten in the public square, or stoned, rocked to sleep with real rocks, at the city gates if you go back far enough in time.

[Xenalyte]

If he's locked in a room with a bunch of guys who are high and trying to pull their own eyes out of their heads, that will cure him right quick of thinking it is fun.

It might cure him of wanting to do whatever drugs have the schizos in the ward, but since marijuana does not have that effect, it likely won't solve the problem at hand.

[Darksheare]

I saw someone puke themselves unconscious on just pot alone.