Posted on 10/02/2008 7:04:22 AM PDT by Entrepreneur
Having started my day by checking out the news and opinion on Free Republic, I'm depressed. This is no way to start the day, so I'm going to throw out some of the Obama jokes I've heard and a few I've made up on my own. Add to it. Nothing gets under the skin of the left like humor at their expense.
What did Barack Obama ask when he learned that Russia invade Georgia? Is South Carolina next?
What's the difference between Sarah Palin and Barack Obama? One is a well dressed, attractive piece of eye-candy. The other kills her own food.
What does Obama say when you sneeze around him? I bless you.
What happens when Obama mentions his relationship with Saul Alinsky? He turns red.
Have you seen the new bumper sticker? Its Obama bin Biden.
Whats the difference between Osama bin Laden and Obama bin Biden? With Obama bin Biden, you get two for the price of one.
Since Barack Obama likes to play basketball and Sarah Palin was point guard on a state champion basketball team in high school. Obama said hed like to play Palin in a game of horse. Palin wants a game of one-on-one. I think I can take him, she said. Everyone knows he wont move to his right.
What did Obama say when the Reverend Jeremiah Wright asked if he was listening during his sermons? Im all ears.
Speaking of ears, whats the difference between Barack Obama and Dumbo? Dumbo is smarter than he looks.
Why did Barack Obama cross the road? To help the other side.
Why did John McCain cross the road? He didnt. He got to the middle and stopped.
Obama claims McCain cheated during the Saddleback Church forum. He knew McCain cheated because he gave straight answers. Politicians aren't supposed to do that.
Obama and McCain were talking in the Senate cloakroom one day. Obama told McCain, Ive got a great way to win the cabbie vote. I give them a big tip, which I charge to the taxpayers, and tell them to vote Obama. McCain responded, I think my approach is better. I dont give them any tip and tell them to vote Obama.
People worry that McCain, if elected, might not last four years due to his age. Others worry that America, if Obamas elected, might not last four years due to his policies.
Why wont Obama laugh at himself? He doesnt want to be accused of being a racist.
Why wont Obama drink Pepsi? He wrote in his book that he prefers Coke.
Why is Jimmy Carter campaigning hard for Obama? Its Carters one shot to avoid going down in history as the worst president ever.
What does terrorist Bill Ayers think of his friend, Barack Obama? He thinks hes the bomb.
Why is Obama so skinny? He has to stay light on his feet to walk on water.
What does Obama and Osama bin Laden have in common? Theyre both friends with terrorists who bombed the Pentagon.
Where did Obama decry the influence of money on politics? Barbara Streisands $28,500 a plate dinner.
Did you notice how Sarah Palin kept referring to McCain as John S. McCain during her speech at the Republican convention? This bewildered conservatives who always thought his middle name was effing.
What do Miley Cyrus and Barack Obama have in common? They both attract young people with mindless verses.
Whats the difference between Michelle Obama and pit bull? Pit bulls arent angry *all* the time.
Q: What do Obama and Osama bin Laden have in common?
A: Theyre both friends with terrorists who bombed the Pentagon.
Obama also courted a choir singer at Rev. Wrong’s church.
That’s because you have an intelligent sense of humor! :-)
Beautiful sunrise/set? you got there.
HAHA!
LOL I needed a laugh today
I don't care who you are, that one's funny right there....
What’s black and white and Red all over? Senator Obama
What’s black and white and Red all over? Senator Obama
What does Obama have in common with Fannie Mae?
Both are in the red and will cost the taxpayers a fortune.
Necro. Ick.
What’s the difference between Barack Obama and God?
God never thinks He’s Barack Obama.
God never thinks Hes Barack Obama.
Citizens of Ithaca, NY like Obama.
Movie stars worship Obama.
Liberals worship and give money to Obama.
God answers prayer. Obama is a preyer.
Neither God nor His Son need a teleprompter to tell you what they think.
God is holding Jeremiah Wright's chickens for the perfect time to let them roost.
God gave Samson the ability to slay his foes with the jawbone of an ass. Obama contributors pay a lot of money to jawbone with an ass.
God is color blind. Obama's followers are blinded by color.
In emergencies, God's voice and power are like mighty waters and strong winds. Obama in an emergency would break wind and pass water.
God made Balaam's ass talk. He did the same thing with the DNC's ass.
Uh, no the guy was alive....
One has Pizza in a hut.
The other has a Brother in a Hut.
Liberals really don't like change and they prefer to live in the dark.
Oh, so he was zombie. It’s funnier that way.
hahahaha nice.
The issue of global warming is now at stake because of Obama’s divine light. Temperatures will only exponentially increase. May God save us all. Amen.
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