Tiger Woods: Injuries Caused by Wife, Not SUV

TMZ.com ^ | 11/28/09 | Staff

[OldDeckHand]

Tiger Woods did not suffer facial lacerations from a car accident. They were inflicted by his wife, Elin Nordegren -- according to a conversation Woods had Friday after the accident.

Tiger has yet to be formally interviewed by the Florida Highway Patrol -- that should happen this afternoon. But we're told Tiger had a conversation Friday -- with a non-law enforcement type -- detailing what went down before his Escalade hit a fire hydrant.

We're told he said his wife had confronted him about reports that he was seeing another woman. The argument got heated and, according to our source, she scratched his face up. We're told it was then Woods beat a hasty retreat for his SUV -- but according to our source, Woods says his wife followed behind with a golf club. As Tiger drove away, she struck the vehicle several times with the club.

[Birdsbane]

Live by the club, die by the club.

[OldDeckHand]

"....meeeeoooooowwwwww.... "

And there's a carbon copy of that out there. mmmmm mmmmm mmmmm

[woofie]

I believe it is more likely that this is a result of the cooling of global warming. The year 2012 also figures in this in some way

[Global2010]

Valid point of the day post IMO.

[SWAMPSNIPER]

Anyone who cares so little about their kids gets on my shit list in a hurry.

[GeronL]

BRD

[Cvengr]

I’m losing confidence you have ever been married.

[Catholic Canadian]

If true she sounds like your average Canadian woman. A total bitch.

[Yaelle]

To avoid any charges, they should use the Rush Limbaugh SUV defense. Limbaugh has done media research that can prove that SUVs can and do attack all on their own with no provocation.

Here was an eeeevil SUV, attacking and scratching up Tiger Woods, then locking him in the car and forcing an attack by Loving Wife on its rear window. In pain, the eeeevil SUV slams itself into objects along the road in a desperate suicide attempt, before vomiting out the disoriented golfer into the street.

[JerseyDvl]

Definitely NOT GUILTY!

[GeronL]

fire hydrant I thought. probably jumped out of the bushes and right in front of his car. Racist fire hydrants knows he is part asian.

[grey_whiskers]

(Does explain why it took 12 hours to report, though ....)

At that, nobody drowned.

Let's see how Obama spins this as an example of "racial profiling" in America, eh?

Cheers!

[babygene]

I’m sure they’ll work it out...

[the invisib1e hand]

nonono. I mean, he's scared sh(tless lest michelle get the same idea when his indiscretions come to light as they must at some point.

I've always said that Michelle beats him.

[grey_whiskers]

Have you tried dating the sister? /sarc>

Cheers!

[GeronL]

31-

“OnStar, whats your emergency?”

“I hit a tree, I can’t get out of the vehicle”

“Your trapped in your vehicle Mr. um... Woods?”

“Yeah, thats right, and I’m injured... scratches all over my face”

“Fire & Rescue is on the way Mr Woods”

“Can you send some cops too, please?”

“Cops?”

“Yes, cops... PLEASE”

[skimask]

"Some studies have shown that women are equally as violent as men. "

It is a true statement. Look into it or ask any cop, if you know one. It's about a 50/50 split.

[Plutarch]

Geez, 68 posts before someone posts a pic!

[Cvengr]

IMHO, we need to let the investigators and law enforcement handle it. Too many explanations which might be completely opposite the present perceptions. (e.g., what if no affair occurred, a blackmail/extortion plot transpired, Tiger refused to pay, then he’s assaulted by the female extortioner with a scratched up face, wife suspects adultery, then is seen chasing him with a golf club, or is baited by Tiger into chasing him in public, etc, etc,....just too many valid explanations where no surmise is fruitful.

[zeestephen]

According to the pre-nuptial, his wife gets the yacht.....