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Al Gore Satanic Heavy Metal Fetish Cited in Tipper Gore Divorce [Satire]
Daily Squib ^ | 6/3/2010 | Blackie Lawful

Posted on 07/23/2010 5:51:19 AM PDT by IbJensen

Al Gore turns the amp up to 11

NASHVILLE - USA - Al Gore would rock out to 'satanic' heavy metal bands and perform rituals in the family home, divorce lawyers for ex-wife Tipper Gore have revealed.

Ex Vice President, Al Gore has been living a secret life as a heavy metal fanatic who allegedly performs gory sacrificial rituals in a secret room in the family mansion.

When he's not jetting around the world spewing nonsense about global warming, Al Gore hangs out in his home dungeon listening to sordid heavy metal music and skinning live bats, his wife has claimed.

According to papers filed at the supreme court, Al Gore, repeatedly listened to 'hellish' bands like WASP, Slayer and Barry Manilow in his room. He played loud guitars at all times of the night and day was said to be possessed by "demonic spirits".

Tipper Gore is a prominent member of the PMRC, whose sole claim to fame in the 80's was to place fear into the ignorant, generally stupid American parents blaming controversial music figures for disruption, aggression and violence.

"She would come home from PMRC rallies and find Al in a corner chewing on a bone wearing outrageous spandex trousers listening to Twisted Sister at very loud volume. This was just last week as well. How would she be able to face the PMRC board after seeing that? Mr Gore would also repeatedly cause offence by singing lyrics from some of these awful bands and stick his tongue out whilst banging his head. At breakfast time, this was unacceptable behaviour and was a major cause for the marriage breakdown," Jacob Horovitz, one of Tipper's attorneys told CBS news.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: algore; gore; lockbox; riskyscheme; runslikeagirl
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To: IbJensen
Al Gore hangs out in his home dungeon listening to sordid heavy metal music and skinning live bats, his wife has claimed.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?

21 posted on 07/23/2010 6:09:52 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Remember in November. Clean the house on Nov. 2. / Progressive is a PC word for liberal democrat.)
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To: IbJensen; All
Very easy to believe... may need a satire alert!

See site's other articles.

22 posted on 07/23/2010 6:10:03 AM PDT by drpix
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To: IbJensen

This has to be satire.


23 posted on 07/23/2010 6:10:17 AM PDT by Poser (Enjoying tasty animals for 58 years)
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To: Jedidah

Satire should be marked in the headline.

spoil sport...come on..read some of the other stories..check out the Squib..lol..If you have to tell someone after that..well perhaps MSNBC or “the View” will pick it up as “breaking”. ;)


24 posted on 07/23/2010 6:10:26 AM PDT by fight_truth_decay
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Well, I see [SATIRE] has now been added to the headline.


25 posted on 07/23/2010 6:11:49 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (Remember in November. Clean the house on Nov. 2. / Progressive is a PC word for liberal democrat.)
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To: IbJensen

Just as we all suspected. He’s a Devil worshiper. Now it all makes sense.................


26 posted on 07/23/2010 6:11:52 AM PDT by Red Badger (No, Obama's not the Antichrist. But he does have him on speed dial...............)
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To: Arrowhead1952
skinning live bats,

Clinton, Pelosi, Boxer???

27 posted on 07/23/2010 6:12:05 AM PDT by gov_bean_ counter (Sarah Palin - For such a time as this...)
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To: Grumpybutt

Please don’t insult Xerxes...............


28 posted on 07/23/2010 6:12:33 AM PDT by Red Badger (No, Obama's not the Antichrist. But he does have him on speed dial...............)
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To: IbJensen

How does Barry Manilow fit in? He’s a nice schmaltzy Jewish boy, not a heavy metal rocker.

He’s not bad in concert. I saw him in 1973 and 1976 in Chicago. I can’t imagine what he is like today.


29 posted on 07/23/2010 6:14:00 AM PDT by neocon1984
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To: IbJensen
The Daily Squib, "the World's Finest News Source," is quite a step up from The Onion, which is only "America's Finest News Source."
30 posted on 07/23/2010 6:14:28 AM PDT by southernnorthcarolina ("Better be wise by the misfortunes of others than by your own." -- Aesop)
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To: Poser

You think? Noticed your ‘tasty animals’ tagline perhaps you would like this UK news...if you are into recycling.

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/2557423/posts


31 posted on 07/23/2010 6:15:39 AM PDT by fight_truth_decay
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To: Caesar Soze
You Can't Kill The Metal.
32 posted on 07/23/2010 6:15:40 AM PDT by Rodamala
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To: IbJensen

“Breaking the Law, Breaking the Law”

Who knew Al was a head banger? Man, impacted chakra can make a man do all sorts of weird things. Maybe we need a “Betty Ford Clinic” for arrested development?


33 posted on 07/23/2010 6:15:43 AM PDT by equalitybeforethelaw
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To: lionheart 247365
Official winner "Best Tagline Ever" award!
34 posted on 07/23/2010 6:16:02 AM PDT by Aevery_Freeman (Fear God and Government - especially when one tries to become the other!)
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To: IbJensen
OK, you had me going up through Barry Manilow. That's when I checked my feet to see if one leg was longer than the other one.

:-)

35 posted on 07/23/2010 6:16:55 AM PDT by Jonah Hex ("Never underestimate the hungover side of the Force.")
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To: Arrowhead1952

‘sighs’


36 posted on 07/23/2010 6:18:44 AM PDT by fight_truth_decay
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To: fight_truth_decay

And that one isn’t satire.

Mmmmmmmm... Beer in a dead squirrel!


37 posted on 07/23/2010 6:21:34 AM PDT by Poser (Enjoying tasty animals for 58 years)
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To: IbJensen
Al Gore is Iron Man.
38 posted on 07/23/2010 6:29:59 AM PDT by windsorknot
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To: IbJensen

GO TIPPER!!!!


39 posted on 07/23/2010 6:30:18 AM PDT by dalebert
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To: IbJensen

Damn - if Al Gore is a Slayer fan, I might be forced to give him some space on this.

SSSSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYEEEEEERRRRRRRR!!!!!!!


40 posted on 07/23/2010 6:34:20 AM PDT by GlockThe Vote
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