26 Things the Movies have taught us (Thread Two)

a friend | 9-29-2001

[Brett66]

For some reason, shooting a handgun sideways is accurate.
For some reason, a girl that never fires or practices with a handgun can pick one up and place a bullet right between the bad guys eyes.

[Justice]

A woman pursued by a monster or other undesirable will always fall down while running away.

[Grim]

Christians are always paranoid, neo-nazis; Priests are always sex fiends; It's possible to get kicked in the head 50 times without passing out; A bad guy with a machine-gun can never hit the broad side of a barn but a good guy with a revolver can hit a moving taraget at 100 yards

[#3Fan]

All towns in the old West consisted of one street with just stores and places of business. Old West towns did not have residential areas.

[Mad Dawgg]

When someone is being chased and is Running on the roof's of old buildings and jumping across to the next, the 2nd guy will land short and manage to grasp the ledge while his cohorts shoot at the fleeing man who gets away! (It does not matter if it is the good or the bad guy being chased!)

[Brett66]

Cars that make a fifty foot jump slam down on the ground with no damage. After hitting the ground, they can speed along at 100+ MPH.

Cars that are being chased can speed through busy intersections barely missing other cars going through.

Only cars behind the car being chased get hit by other cars.

The car being chased knows the perfect route to take to elude capture, there's never any traffic jams, never any sidewalks that aren't big enough to accomadate a speeding car.

Cars always explode.

Cars always launch into the air when they hit a car hard enough.

[rdww]

And don't forget...

When a bad guy with a gun gets the drop on a good guy, he always wastes several minutes explaining how he done it before trying to actually shoot the good guy.

People never walk to a door and keep going out -- they always pause and turn at the door to make a final, pithy comment.

[Storm Orphan]

When the bad guys empty their guns at Superman to no effect, they throw it at him, and he ducks.

[lowbridge]

All criminal masterminds and spies choose a very public place to discuss their top secret diabolical plans like in a library or a Museum. And no matter how much they keep their voices lowered, their voices loudly echo and bounce off the walls of the cavernous rooms all the while ordinary everyday tourists walk right by them.

[Brett66]

All men of God are phony hypocrites.
All new age gurus are enlightened.

[maxwell]

Corrollary to post#21 on thread one:

Most folks with Southern accents are evil. Or dimwits. Or both. Religious southerners are especially heinous.

[what's up]

All French and German characters speak with BRITISH accents!

[maxwell]

Strange noises in their underwear? Like right before they crap their pants?

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[RandallFlagg]

All blind people can beat the living s*it outta anyone.

[Mad Dawgg]

On the Dukes of Hazard tv show there is a mysterious group of men know as the "Ramp" builders! They run around Hazard county building ramps everywhere... Behind stacks of hay, on the banks of creeks, at construction sites, etc. Yet no one has seen them in action! (off topic observation: those Daisy Duke shorts were well worth the half hour of boring car chases!)

[lowbridge]

Every futuristic spaceship never has a toilet. AND, Nobody ever needs to use one.

Just like the Starship Brady Bunch.

[#3Fan]

All people who get knocked out in a fight will wake up when the guy that knocked them out isn't looking.

[Riley]

Rushing the Hero and head-butting him always causes him to drop the gun. Likewise, smacking the gun with a backhand causes it to fly from the Hero's hand across the room.

Try that (holding a wrench or something) with a friend sometime. Let me know when the doc says you get your cast off.

[Jaxter]

No matter how advanced the technology on the various Star Treks, they'll never grasp the concept of seatbelts.

[RandallFlagg]

When one is wearing either a Chinese long robe or a ninja suit, by simply raising their arms and jumping, they are able to magically fly 35-75 feet in the air. Also, while wearing these items, it's illegal to kick them in the nuts.