26 Things the Movies have taught us (Thread Two)

a friend | 9-29-2001

[Cagey]

Some incredible FReeper replies on thread one.

Thread One

[RandallFlagg]

Every futuristic spaceship never has a toilet. AND, Nobody ever needs to use one.

[caddie]

This may have been posted, but...

A cop with a one-inch barrel, .38 snub nose revolver, can hit a perp dead center in the chest from a mile away, when both of them are running, full gallop, on the edges of rooftops of tenements, in opposite directions, wearing black, at night, with the cop shooting sideways...,

[Double Tap]

The bad guys can never hit anything with full-auto fire, and yet the good guys can use two machineguns/shotguns/pistols at once with great accuracy.

[Double Tap]

All mafia types prefer baseball bats for their light duty work.

[El Sordo]

But only at the end of the movie.

[JenB]

No matter how advanced the technology, it always has something so goofy, it at once is reduced to the level of a Rube Goldberg contraption. (I.E., in "The Matrix", the machines use energy based on a combination of human body heat - and nuclear fusion! Why even have the people involved at all?) Or like transporters: can be used for almost anything - reverse aging machines, confinement cells, stasis chambers.....

[Arthur McGowan]

If one character A asks character B "What happened?" or "Why do we need to do XYZ?"--character B will never answer. He will say, "There's no time to explain" or "I'll tell you on the way"--i.e., off-camera.

[chemicalman]

Whenever someone is ducking from fire in a gunfight, it is always drums of fuel or a gasoline tank.

[Paul Atreides]

All 95 pound women can beat up 250 pound guys.

All female protagonists are feminists.

All alien cultures never before encountered speak English.

All rich people are cold and evil.

All women fall down when running from a monster.

All attackers can get their victim to drop a gun by just saying "you can't shoot me" in their best Hannibal voices

All action heroes spend most of the movie sneaking up on terrorists until the moment before he jumps them, that's when he starts shouting so they turn around and see him

[Double Tap]

Firearms are almost never effective means of self-defense, except when used by local LEO/FBI/Military.

[Cagey]

Jen, it's funny you should mention Rube Goldberg and Time Machines in the same post. A fellow FRreeper can get you one.

See Post#35

[11th Earl of Mar]

women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.

Strange noises in their underwear? Like right before they crap their pants?

[Paul Atreides]

When going through a time/space portal that will close within 10 seconds, rather than jump through, the man and woman (usually a married couple on the verge of divorce) will stand in front of it and french-kiss for 30 seconds.

Things that kill the villian in 10 seconds will take a minute and a half to kill the hero, thereby giving him time to figure a way out or be rescued.

[Double Tap]

When the hero of a horror flick does use a firearm to stop the bad guy/monster, they will then drop/throw down the gun in disgust, only to have the same bad guy/monster attack again.

[Rocko]

All heroes throw the gun at the bad guy when they run out of ammo.

[Rocko]

Multiple Freepers will post the same idea within the same three minutes.

[SurferDoc]

Some people (including me) have seen WAY too many movies.

[Husker24]

You never see a Tv or radio in the living room on any of those soap opras, and its always dark.

[#3Fan]

Yeah, what's with that? I've done informal tests, and have yet to find a pillow I can't breathe through.

Funny you mention that, I made sure right before I posted that. LOL I surveeved as Andy Kaufman
would say. :^)