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Michael Moore Writes to the President (Turd in the Punchbowl Alert)

Posted on 03/17/2003 1:20:53 PM PST by Petronski

Monday, March 17th, 2003

George W. Bush 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. Washington, DC

Dear Governor Bush:

So today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards on the table." I'm glad to hear that this day has finally arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could take much more. So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few truths I would like to share with you:

1. There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one. Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM! Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works!

2. The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you -- are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what the real issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of them begin with I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement funds are going to be there, gas now costs two dollars a gallon -- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.

3. As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.

4. The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope! But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you! How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally won't have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor were shipped to Vietnam in your place.

5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't think so either!

6. Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups. Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War that won it for us? That it was France who gave us our Statue of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing what only a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about yourself, straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner you can't get out of.

Well, cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing there aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to protect Saddam Hussein. After you "win" the war, you will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves a winner -- and who doesn't like to see a good ass-whoopin' every now and then (especially when it 's some third world ass!). And just like with Afghanistan, we'll forget about what happens to a country after we bomb it 'cause that is just too complex! So try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year's election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink even further down the toilet!

But, hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill Iraqis -- they got our oil!!

Yours,

Michael Moore www.michaelmoore.com


TOPICS: Editorial; Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: antiamericanwar; antibush; anticapitalist; bowelingforoscars; fatliar; fictionaldocumetary; greenparty; leftist; liar; michaelmoore; mikeymoron; moron; propaganda; propagandista; socialist; stupidfatman; usefulidiot; workoffiction
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Moore produces a popular "C" movie a couple of decades ago and that qualifies him to speak for an entire country, proving once again the self-important deserve themselves.
61 posted on 03/17/2003 1:44:08 PM PST by Orbiter
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To: Houmatt
Quite a temper. I'm on the record upthread in my expression of indifference to removal of this thread. I do however think that we are strong enough to read and critique Moore, especially on so momentous an occasion, and I rather think some of us are having quite a bit of fun.
62 posted on 03/17/2003 1:46:10 PM PST by Petronski (I'm not always cranky.)
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To: Petronski
Why wasn't "Michael Moore Is a Big Fat Idiot" ever written?
63 posted on 03/17/2003 1:48:48 PM PST by doug from upland (Saddam, bend over and kiss your terrorist posterior goodbye.)
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To: Petronski
...trust me on this one....

LOL!!

THAT'S where I'll stop reading.

64 posted on 03/17/2003 1:51:39 PM PST by Byron_the_Aussie
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To: TC Rider
mike@michaelmoore.com The bombs have started falling from my puter.
65 posted on 03/17/2003 1:52:04 PM PST by CroftonFreeper (Britan needs parking. Pave France.)
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To: Petronski
Scumbag. How can he live himself?
66 posted on 03/17/2003 1:52:38 PM PST by FryingPan101 (I love Rummy!)
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To: Petronski
5. Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort. What's that you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what -- we don't think so either!

Total disrespect for the men and women who voluntarily sign up for military service, knowing they could be called into harm's way.

67 posted on 03/17/2003 1:55:58 PM PST by GSWarrior
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To: Lance Romance
"I'm sure a couple twinkies and a can of Hershey's chocolate syrup will calm him down."

LOL. Good one. Moore makes it easy to hate the left.
68 posted on 03/17/2003 1:56:12 PM PST by ohioman
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To: Petronski
Michael Moore is Saddam's secret weapon. No, as an angry liberal writer, but as a human shield! His gravitational field will throw off any incoming JDAMs and raise the tides of the Persian Gulf.
69 posted on 03/17/2003 1:56:35 PM PST by Toskrin
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To: Petronski

70 posted on 03/17/2003 2:03:23 PM PST by ericthecurdog
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To: Miss Marple
Since I took the time to find out about this and it is easily verifiable, I must assume that Mr. Moore is either stupid or a liar, or both.

My guess is both.

71 posted on 03/17/2003 2:03:35 PM PST by texasbluebell
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To: Petronski
Who is Michael Moore??
72 posted on 03/17/2003 2:07:10 PM PST by flicker
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To: Petronski
"'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come here and killed any of us! No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don't want to kill him! Funny how that works!"

The lies begin in the very first paragraph. Putting aside the fact that Saddam attempted to assasinate GH Bush, there's still unanswered questions about Ramzi Yousef's identity as an Iraqi Intelligence officer. You remember him, Mikey? The mastermind behind the 1993 WTC attacked the "killed" several Americans. This guys a dope.
73 posted on 03/17/2003 2:07:33 PM PST by cwb
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To: Dengar01
Nah! An Obese Lesbian? More like that last al Queda operative who looked like a slob when they arrested him in the middle of the night.
74 posted on 03/17/2003 2:09:59 PM PST by Gumdrop
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To: Brandon
>> Either that, or reply with an opening salutation, "Dear Miss Moore ...."

I've always been of the opinion that this jelly roll could just be an overtly pregnant woman, but you'd think it'd throw the calf by this time.

75 posted on 03/17/2003 2:13:03 PM PST by Wondervixen (Ask for her by name--Accept no substitutes!)
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To: Dengar01
"obese lesbian"


NEWS ITEM:
Michael Moore gave a press conference today to tell President Bush that he is opposed to the war on Iraq and that he is "not vulnerable to Jedi mind tricks".

76 posted on 03/17/2003 2:14:41 PM PST by SquirrelKing (Tagline called on account of rain. Enjoy "She Wore a Yellow Ribbon" starring John Wayne...)
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To: Petronski
Pure flatulence of a foundered mind!
77 posted on 03/17/2003 2:15:07 PM PST by DonnerT (Columbia and The Seven when the wheels fell.)
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To: Petronski
... and a pair of French brothers who invented the movies?

OK, one of them would have been Thomas Edisoneau, but who's the other? < / sarcasm>

78 posted on 03/17/2003 2:16:51 PM PST by DuncanWaring (...and Freedom tastes of Reality.)
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To: Petronski
ROTHFLMAO!!! Great add on title
79 posted on 03/17/2003 2:21:38 PM PST by Enemy Of The State (Beware the lollipop of mediocrity... lick it once and you suck forever)
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To: Petronski
Somebody get him some truth serum.
80 posted on 03/17/2003 2:24:05 PM PST by IRBlondie
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