Memorandum from Dennis Miller to anti-war protesters - BIN LADEN WANTS YOU DEAD, TOO.

The World Tribune ^ | 22 March, 2003

[Happy2BMe]

Memorandum from Dennis Miller to anti-war protesters

SPECIAL TO WORLD TRIBUNE.COMSunday, March 22, 2003

ALL THE RHETORIC ON WHETHER OR NOT WE SHOULD GO TO WAR AGAINST IRAQ HAS GOT MY INSANE LITTLE BRAIN SPINNING LIKE A ROULETTE WHEEL. I ENJOY READING OPINIONS FROM BOTH SIDES BUT I HAVE DETECTED A HINT OF CONFUSION FROM SOME OF YOU.

I'D LIKE TO APPLY THIS SIMPLE THEORY FOR THOSE WHO DON'T QUITE GET IT. MY HOPE IS THAT WE CAN SIMPLIFY THINGS A BIT AND RECOGNIZE A FEW IMPORTANT FACTS.

HERE ARE 10 THINGS TO CONSIDER WHEN VOICING AN OPINION ON THIS IMPORTANT ISSUE:

1) BETWEEN PRESIDENT BUSH AND SADDAM HUSSEIN ... HUSSEIN IS THE BAD GUY.

2) IF YOU HAVE FAITH IN THE UNITED NATIONS TO DO THE RIGHT THING KEEP THIS IN MIND, THEY HAVE LIBYA HEADING THE COMMITTEE ON HUMAN RIGHTS AND IRAQ HEADING THE GLOBAL DISARMAMENT COMMITTEE. DO YOUR OWN MATH HERE!

3) IF YOU USE GOOGLE SEARCH AND TYPE IN "FRENCH MILITARY VICTORIES", YOUR REPLY WILL BE "DID YOU MEAN FRENCH MILITARY DEFEATS?"

4) IF YOUR ONLY ANTI-WAR SLOGAN IS "NO WAR FOR OIL," SUE YOUR SCHOOL DISTRICT FOR ALLOWING YOU TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS AND ROBBING YOU OF THE EDUCATION YOU DESERVE.

5) SADDAM AND BIN LADEN WILL NOT SEEK UNITED NATIONS APPROVAL BEFORE THEY TRY TO KILL US.

6) DESPITE COMMON BELIEF, MARTIN SHEEN IS NOT THE PRESIDENT. HE JUST PLAYS ONE ON T.V.

7) EVEN IF YOU ARE ANTI-WAR, YOU ARE STILL AN "INFIDEL!" AND BIN LADEN WANTS YOU DEAD, TOO.

8) IF YOU BELIEVE IN A "VAST RIGHT-WING CONSPIRACY" BUT NOT IN THE DANGER THAT HUSSEIN POSES, QUIT HANGING OUT WITH THE DELL COMPUTER DUDE!

9) WE ARE TRYING TO LIBERATE THE IRAQI PEOPLE.

10) WHETHER YOU ARE FOR MILITARY ACTION OR AGAINST IT, OUR YOUNG MEN AND WOMEN OVERSEAS ARE FIGHTING FOR US TO DEFEND OUR RIGHT TO SPEAK OUT. WE ALL NEED TO SUPPORT THEM WITHOUT RESERVATION.

[Happy2BMe]

My memo to antiwar protestors - don't you have enough brains to know who wants to kill your infidel ar$e?

[Mustang]

A Bump For Miller Time!

[zook]

4) IF YOUR ONLY ANTI-WAR SLOGAN IS "NO WAR FOR OIL," SUE YOUR SCHOOL DISTRICT FOR ALLOWING YOU TO SLIP THROUGH THE CRACKS AND ROBBING YOU OF THE EDUCATION YOU DESERVE.

As a prof. of education, this one's my favorite.

[Heff]

Here, Here...Dennis!!!

[Dimensio]

Not Dennis Miller.

[Dajjal]

8) IF YOU BELIEVE IN A "VAST RIGHT-WING CONSPIRACY" BUT NOT IN THE DANGER THAT HUSSEIN POSES, QUIT HANGING OUT WITH THE DELL COMPUTER DUDE!

ROTFLMAO!!!!

[NewRomeTacitus]

The protesters don't seem to get that they are the first to be executed if they were to enable the communist causes they inherited from a discredited faction too stupid to die off.

[Happy2BMe]

Hehe.. ok, guess Dennis won't get tagged for this one then.

Tnx - it's still kinda cute.

[Lucky2]

I think the honorable Mr. Miller will be on my list of those in Hollyweird I will support. Go get em Dennis!

[bucephalus]

So you're an Oppressor of Education? Now I know who to blame.

I seriously doubt that this is Dennis Miller. A few enlightened lefties like Chris Hitchens (go to CSPAN and find 3/15 video debate - Hitch is sublime)and William Shawcross are against it but seems to me that Miller is a little too glib to alienate his leftie base.

[Russell Scott]

My memo to anti-war activist: kick your pot smoking habit, and you logic and rational synapses will begin to reconnect and function again.

[Paradox]

I seriously doubt that this is Dennis Miller

No, this is not by Dennis Miller, however, Miller is a vehement supporter of the war, and has become more conservative with age. He is a FR "good guy"..

[ukbird]

This bit was outrageous! From snopes.com:

--snip--
We can substantiate that the two checkable points in the rant do indeed stand up to scrutiny: The United Nations Commission on Human Rights is chaired by Najat Al-Hajjaji of the Libyan Arab Jamahiriya, and Iraq was selected to head the United Nations' Conference on Disarmament scheduled to be held in Geneva beginning in May 2003. (Which country chairs the U.N. Conference on Disarmament is determined through "purely automatic rotation by alphabetical order.") However, in mid-February Iraq informed the U.N. that it was giving up its turn at the rotating presidency of the disarmament forum; since Iran had already given up its turn to chair the body as well, the position fell upon the next country on the alphabetical list, Ireland.
--end--

So is it Iraq or not?

[so_real]

My memo to antiwar protestors - don't you have enough brains to know who wants to kill your infidel ar$e?

After hearing man-on-the-street interviews with these protesting idiots, I am utterly convinced they are not smart enough to understand that Laden/Hussein would cut them down in a New York minute. I'm not sure many of them could spell "patriotism" let alone show a little of it.

[Dajjal]

I seriously doubt that this is Dennis Miller.

It's not. It's Mr. W. Wayne Schields of Wichita Falls, Texas.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/miller.asp
This particular offering did run in the Times Records News, the only newspaper in Wichita Falls, Texas. It appeared as a Letter to the Editor on 26 February 2003, with its author identified as W. Wayne Schields of Wichita Falls. How the piece came to be attributed to Dennis Miller remains a mystery.

[Dajjal]

Forgot to ping you on #15. Thanks for the debunking link!

[Warhead W-88]

Why is everything lately attributed to Dennis Miller?

This isn't his style, not by a long shot.

The all-caps kind of gives it away.

[bucephalus]

Mea Culpa. I have live overseas for years and am not in touch with the day to day evolutions and transistions of our culture.

Other Point Altogether: Where is the Iraqi Propaganda Machine? Where is that silly information Minister that I've been growing fond of over the last few days? I find this point and the lack of analysis about this point curious. So as a relatively small battle with a 120 RepubGuards is considered pivotal it may be that the Regime has already been decapitated.

[The Lake City Gar]

3) IF YOU USE GOOGLE SEARCH AND TYPE IN "FRENCH MILITARY VICTORIES", YOUR REPLY WILL BE "DID YOU MEAN FRENCH MILITARY DEFEATS?"

This is true...Here's the first return...

http://cool.paisley.net/french_military_victories_french_military_victories.html

[Paradox]

I find this point and the lack of analysis about this point curious. So as a relatively small battle with a 120 RepubGuards is considered pivotal it may be that the Regime has already been decapitated.

Good point. It is morning in Baghdad, that guy should be having a press conference, lauding the magnificent counter attack that they are mounting. Of course, anyone watching it will realize that the Iraqi forces are slowly being obliterated...