ESPN to Show 'Straight Eye for the Homo Guy'

Scrappleface ^ | August 16, 2003 | Scott Ott

[Cathryn Crawford]

ESPN to Show 'Straight Eye for the Homo Guy'

(2003-08-15) -- The Entertainment and Sports Programming Network (ESPN) announced today that its fall lineup will include 'Straight Eye for the Homo Guy', a new show based on a similarly-named program on another network.

On each episode a team of five heterosexual males will do a "makeover" on one homosexual man.

Preview screenings of the pilot showed the five guys uncomfortably shuffling around the menswear section at Wal-Mart picking out trousers for a guy named Maurice, who they refused to take with them.

The men get frustrated after about 30 seconds and ask a blue-vested store associate if she could just find them something in the proper size. Things get tense when they're asked which one of them will wear the pants, and they struggle to admit they're buying the slacks for another guy.

"He's a relative," one man says quickly. "Uh...yeah...my brother...our brother...we're all brothers, and we're buying the pants for our other brother and he's in a coma...but he'll be out soon, and he'll need pants. And that's what we're doing."

Destined to be a ratings hit, 'Straight Eye' also includes "coaching sessions" where the hetero-males tell the homosexual helpful things like "clothing is strictly for warmth and to cover your body, not to draw attention to yourself. Buy clothes which blend with your surroundings....like camouflage gear."

In another scene, the team takes their subject to a Barber Shop to "get a real haircut." While he waits, they force him to read an issue of "Guns & Ammo."

[Cathryn Crawford]

Preview screenings of the pilot showed the five guys uncomfortably shuffling around the menswear section at Wal-Mart picking out trousers for a guy named Maurice, who they refused to take with them.

The men get frustrated after about 30 seconds and ask a blue-vested store associate if she could just find them something in the proper size. Things get tense when they're asked which one of them will wear the pants, and they struggle to admit they're buying the slacks for another guy.

Ping

[Khurkris]

...and when you walk...your hands have to remain below belt level...

[Paul Atreides]

LOL! And throw out his collections of Garland, Minelli, Streisand, Cher, etc.

[optimistically_conservative]

So, when is the Lesbian eye for the Straight Girl premiering?

Wait, is that the Man Show?

[stuck_in_new_orleans]

I think it was one of their many, many funny commercials

[SchuylerTheViking]

On each episode a team of five heterosexual males will do a "makeover" on one homosexual man.

Tragically though, in episode two, the homosexual tries to recruit one of the cast and the "makeover" takes a decidedly different turn.

[Scenic Sounds]

LMAO. This sounds like it'll be a real crackup. Cathryn, I'll be looking forward to seeing this show.

Once. ;-)

[Cathryn Crawford]

So, when is the Lesbian eye for the Straight Girl premiering?

I don't think it will. Lesbians are known for their unfashionableness, whereas gay guys are supposed to know everything about fashion.

Wait, is that the Man Show?

Isn't that the show with the girls in short skirts jumping on trampolines?

[martin_fierro]

"He's a relative," one man says quickly. "Uh...yeah...my brother...our brother..."

More like a very hairy little sister.

[Cathryn Crawford]

This sounds like it'll be a real crackup. Cathryn, I'll be looking forward to seeing this show.

You'll be watching this one alone, I'd wager.

[johniegrad]

However, it may not be possible for them to teach him how to fart like a regular guy.

[sauropod]

Doesn't sound like "must see tv"

[Tribune7]

LOL

[martin_fierro]

However, it may not be possible for them to teach him how to fart like a regular guy.

To the contrary, I'm told those fellas have exquisite rectal control.

He can probably make that thing sing an aria.

[DoctorMichael]

Late-night chuckle-Bump.

[johniegrad]

More like "foooooooooooooof"

[Cathryn Crawford]

He can probably make that thing sing an aria.

ROTFLMAO! Stop that! There's coffee all in my keyboard now!

[martin_fierro]

ESPN to Show 'Straight Eye for the Homo Guy'

You should watch.

<|:)~

[Dan from Michigan]

LOL. I'll skip this one too though.