Posted on 02/04/2010 8:03:11 PM PST by Sarah 2012
Scream glory Christians! The end is nigh! Soon we will be returned into the bosom of Christ, while the sinners are left to suffer the tribulation! If you haven't been saved yet, do so now! It is urgent!!!
I have been carefully studying the books of Revelation, Daniel, and other key passages in Matthew, Ezekiel, and Song of Solomon, and having computed some numbers, have realized the return of Jesus is going to be three weeks from now!
Now, I know some of you will say Jesus said we cannot predict the day and the hour, but the Bible actually says that near the end, the date and hour WILL become known!
Daniel 12: 9And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end. 10Many shall be purified, and made white, and tried; but the wicked shall do wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand; but the wise shall understand. 11And from the time that the daily sacrifice shall be taken away, and the abomination that maketh desolate set up, there shall be a thousand two hundred and ninety days. 12Blessed is he that waiteth, and cometh to the thousand three hundred and five and thirty days. 13But go thou thy way till the end be: for thou shalt rest, and stand in thy lot at the end of the days.
To its church goers “DON’T DRINK THE KOOL-AID OR WEAR TRACK SUITS.
Idiots. baptists what branch. Have these people ever read the Bible, its very clear - we don’t know, no one knows.
That’s just so ridiculous. It’s the fifth. The world’s gonna end on March 5th. Sheesh!
Does this baptist church go by the name of “Westboro”?
Would it be Obama’s fault?
It’s a satire website making fun of Christians.
No, haven’t you been listening. Is GW Bush’s fault.
LOl!
At 6:20 in the morning, Central Standard Time. Early risers.
Well since I am getting sick and tired of the rat race I kinda hope they’re right, but let’s just say I’m not going to stop paying bills or going to work just yet.
The hookers and blow though...now that’s tempting...
This is a site for SATIRE meant to mock Christians.
It’s a spoof site.
Are you looking to be saved? Just prayer this simple prayer:
Dear Lord Jesus,
I know that I am worthless. I know I am completely pathetic and miserable, dirty, evil, sinful, disgusting. I am the lowest of lows. I am a worm. Less than a worm. I don't even deserve to live. In short, I am exactly as you have created me. Dear wonderful, perfect God, I beg you for forgiveness for having been born imperfectly. I beg and plead down on my knees that I not be sent into a fire to be tormented and tortured forever and ever and ever because a distant ancestor of mine ate the wrong fruit. I ask You, who are perfect in mercy, to please try to find some way of receiving me into Your Eternal Kingdom even though I have disgraced You by not worshiping and adoring you up till now. So I ask that you pour the blood of Your only Son who is Yourself and died temporarily on the cross for me. I understand that this is the only way You could ever forgive me, oh Divine Master. I accept You as my personal savior, from now on I'll do absolutely everything you tell me to do. I'll follow the rules of the Bible to the letter and never sin again. I pray this in the name of You and of Your Father, and of the Holy Spirit who conceived You and is also You. Amen.
If you repeated those words just now, then I tell you, you have been saved! Now all you need to do is get baptized and never sin again, and you're in the clear.
Just some more stupid atheists at work in our society... LOL...
Does the end involve apple sauce and a comet?
This is their real site.
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/
Notice what they say about the Avatar dolls.
They are idiots, also.
What’s funny is that some people don’t realize LandoverBaptist.net is a spoof!
My Dad grew up Baptist . . . became a Presbyterian preacher . . . this guy is a kook!
Nice work if you can get it. Is a lie the Truth if you tell it enough?
I don’t know what to think about this. Many others have claimed to know when it would happen.
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