Why Do We All Hate Soccer? Any Euro FReepers?

Me

[GulliverSwift]

I remember watching an episode of the Simpsons where the family saw an advertisement on TV for an exhibition soccer game at Springfield Stadium. The whole family was excited: "Yeah!!!"

So they went to the game, and all the characters, Crusty, Moe, the Simpsons, etc, were there. The teams were South American and you could hear the announcer calling the play-by-play with a Spanish accent.

The crowd was excited and cheering at first. And the Mexican announcer was excited the whole time as he said,

"He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez! He kicks the ball to Rodrigez! He kicks the ball to Sanchez!"

The announcer's voice was shouting with anticipation as he described the exciting action of Sanchez and Rodrigez passing the ball back and forth (sounds like great World Cup action). The crowd was excited at first, but after four minutes, they fell silent. Then Homer shouted out, "Boring!!!"

To any of you Eurotrash, now you know why we can't stand soccer, or "football" as you Euro-femmes call it. It's BORING. Our football, the real football, is an improvement on the feminine type. Basketball is inovative, baseball is inovative, but soccer.... You kick the @$#&% ball back and forth for two hours--lots of drama!!!!.......and the score is 1-0.

Whew, with action like that, I don't know if I can keep from fainting!

The only reason why soccer is around the world is because of British and Spanish colonialism. We booted the Brits out before the bland game could be invented, and Brits being the boring females that they are, invented a game where you are required to kick a ball for 30 minutes before scoring a point.

So you may be wondering why the soccer "craze" hasn't caught on in the only country where men have more swimming clothes on their body than women. It's because we've got games that actually took creativity and innovation to invent.

If we wanted to be bored with something that's two hours and results in a score of 1-0, we'd watch a featherweight boxing match. Or a debate between Al Gore and George Bush.

Who do I want to win? Portugal or the U.S.?

I DON'T CARE!!

[stlrocket]

Soccer fans and their traditions go way back. They start by teaching them young. Then they develop into full grown hooligans!

FUTURE SOCCER STAR

[GulliverSwift]

OK, how about you running all over the field, without let-up, no time outs, no commercial breaks, no time to spit out your chew.

Soccer players are incredible endurance athletes. Try it some time!

Sorry, I'm not a fan of watching running. The score's 1-0, but there's LOTS of running. I don't like watching track on T.V., so why would I want to watch track on a grass field?

[codebreaker]

Excuse me sir, FR rules and regulations require this...

[Freebird Forever]

The quarterback does not smack anybody in football

That statement is correct only if you exclude Brett Favre.

[thatsnotnice]

A lot of American males were trained as kids that any sport involving a round ball was nasty. You were taught to wash your hands afterward and not tell your parents what you’d been up to or you might get punished…

At our school the only people that played baseball, basketball or soccer were the people that couldn’t make the football, hockey or wrestling teams…

[TADSLOS]

I knew you'd be there for me...

[codebreaker]

And this..

[NEWwoman]

Maybe, many of us hate soccer, because the "Soccer Moms" voted for Clinton. (just kidding) Seriously, though, I understand player can really get beat up in soccer. It's rough. At least, our football players have the sense to wear a lot of padding and helmets.

[MotleyGirl70]

I disagree! I love watching soccer, which is a lot more exciting than baseball or American football, the sole purpose of which is to smack each other (to define it simplistically). If soccer wasn't on at such odd times, I would have been glued to the TV. In fact I was 4 years ago watching France defeat Italy (I think it was Italy).

May I say; I think you are insane for suggesting soccer is more exciting than the NFL in America. (Go Pack!)

BTW, it's not really referred to at "American Football", it's called the NFL.

"...smack each other..". EXACTLY! That's why I'm glued to my T.V. every Sunday afternoon.

Anyone recall the Joe Thiesman leg injury? Or how about Sweetness (RIP) side stepping into the end zone and of course Brett Favre doing his magic on the field. This is why I love this sport.

[John_11_25]

It's against our culture

What Culture ?!

[Weimdog]

Here we go again...

[Walkingfeather]

This reminds me of a classic SCTV show where, The station manager (Joe Flarity) decides that the stations comercial revenue is too low so he is going to have a telethon to raise money. He his sitting buy this bank of silent phones and starts talking to the audience. " Okay you are not calling.... Let me show you what you will be seeing on SCTV if you don't donate" Cut to: Soccer game " Soccer that's right Hours and hours of Soccer... Newton Vs. Hamshire...... the Phones start ringing off the hook.

[berned]

You're right, soccer is deadly boring. Another problem it has is there is no discernable strategy. (I'm sure there is, but not to TV viewers) As slow as baseball is, there is delicious strategy and tension there where spectators bite their nails and can hardly breathe... bases loaded, 1 out, meeting at the mound, etc... same with football, there is strategy and time to savor the possibilities.

Soccer is just non-stop run around and kick the ball, the game has no context or backstory (not to mention SCORING). Soccer will NEVER EVER EVER catch on in the USA.

[Nate505]

But you're a girl. European males also have feminine tendencies, so they'll probably have something in common with you.

Must be nice to be a real masculine type like you. Can't think of a more masculine name than GulliverSwift.....

[MotleyGirl70]

All You Soccer Balls Are Belong To Us!

[PJ-Comix]

The MOST interesting game to watch is Jai Alai....but ONLY if you have money riding on the outcome.

[Nate505]

May I say; I think you are insane for suggesting soccer is more exciting than the NFL in America. (Go Pack!)

Yeah, that Packers game against the Rams in the playoffs was real exciting......or an absolute joke, take your pick.

Anyone recall the Joe Thiesman leg injury? Or how about Sweetness (RIP) side stepping into the end zone and of course Brett Favre doing his magic on the field. This is why I love this sport.

I love football too. But it can get rather boring at times. Anyone remember the Ravens/Giants SuperBore? Or all the years the Cowboys beat up the Bills in the Superbowl? I wonder, how many of you would think football is a high scoring sport if they changed touchdowns to 1 point and Field Goals to a half point?

[dfwgator]

Judging as how Paraguay got hosed by the refs, I can see that soccer referees are just as incompetent as NBA referees.

[PoisedWoman]

Very funny and right on the mark. I have a very good German friend in CA who cannot believe that I don't watch soccer and can hardly wait for it to catch on in the USA. So I watched for awhile and then ........ zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I highly recomend the sport to insomniacs.

[Nate505]

You're right, soccer is deadly boring. Another problem it has is there is no discernable strategy. (I'm sure there is, but not to TV viewers) As slow as baseball is, there is delicious strategy and tension there where spectators bite their nails and can hardly breathe... bases loaded, 1 out, meeting at the mound, etc... same with football, there is strategy and time to savor the possibilities.

But how many times in baseball do we see a team down by a run or two, bases loaded, 2 outs.....the drama, the excitement....and then the batter hits a harmless ground ball and ends the inning. Or an easy pop fly. What a let down. Or there's the always exciting 1-2 count, with the batter hitting 5-10 foul balls in a row only to ground out. Baseball has its boring moments as much as any other sport does. The key difference is we grew up on the sport, so it is interesting. I'm sure Indians (the nuclear type) think Cricket is interesting, but nobody here does, and I'm sure they think baseball is boring.