Posted on 08/23/2002 1:28:27 AM PDT by Snow Bunny
I asked Mom if I was a gifted child. She said they certainly wouldn't have paid for me.
Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
Doctors can be frustrating. You wait a month-and-a-half for an appointment, and he says, "I wish you'd come to me sooner."
I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, 'Well, THAT'S not going to happen.'
In the 60's people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take prozac to make it normal.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
ATLANTIC CITY, NJ Aug. 17 -- The U.S. Coast Guard Group/Air Station Atlantic City display their assets on Aug 17th and 18th at the annual Lighthouse weekend. Each day they performed a search and rescue demo. The crew consisted of Lt. Cmdr. Sal Palmeri and Phil Perez, Petty Officer 3rd Class Jerod Blocker and Pamela Bednarik. USCG photo by Pamela Bednarik
Look Sassy, a lighthouse weekend!
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Naaaa!As you can tell, I've put on a few pounds since I got this burka (Can't say it "shrunk" in the wash, 'cause I've never washed it). Just toooooooooo tight to fit comfortably any more; plus, IT MAKES MY BUTT LOOK FAT!
Hope to see you later.
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking a couple of bottles of Bud. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead, Earl, it's a po-lice roadblock! We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!!" "Don't worry, Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, and throw the bottles under the seat." "What fer?" asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talkin', OK?" said Earl. Well, they finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat, and each put a label on their forehead.When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff said, "You boys been drinkin'?" ... "No sir," Earl said. "We're on the patch."
NEWS UPDATE: Terrorists Multiplying in the Southeast U.S. The governors of Alabama, Georgia & Mississippi would like to announce that they have made a disturbing discovery in their states. Apparently, a small number of terrorists have become romantically involved with the locals. The result was not pretty, and we now have the sad task of reporting a new sector of the human race: ISLAMABUBBAS. So far, only a smattering of actual births has been reported, and we are hard at work trying to isolate and seal them off. To date, we have identified the following: Mohammed Billy Bob Abba Bubba Mohammed Jethro Bin Thinkin Bout It Mohammed Forrest Gumpa Bubba Mohammed Rubba Dub Dubba Bubba Bobbie Joe Bubba Charlene Atat Betty Jean Hasbeena Badgurl Cleavie Daba Hava Tampa Linda Sue Bin There Dunthat Not surprisingly, they all seem to have sprung from one couple: Mohammed Whoozyadaddy and Yomamma Bin Lovin.
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