A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day....10-17-02

JohnHuang2 and Billie

[daisyscarlett]

A Few of FR's Finest.....
......Every Day

FR is a Treasure Trove of talented, compassionate, patriotic, wonderful people who gather every day to discuss the latest news and issues;  salute
and support our military and our leaders;  tell a few jokes;  learn a new
word;  write poetry;  pray for those in need;  and congratulate those who
are deserving. Thank you, Jim Robinson, for giving us the vehicle in which
we can express ourselves.

Free Republic made its debut in September, 1996, and the forum was added in early 1997.  I
can remember lurking when there were only a few regulars who posted, and now there are over 60,000 who have registered for posting privileges. The forum is read daily by tens of thousands
of concerned citizens and patriots from all around the country and the world.

A Few of FR's Finest November 11, 2001

So many people have written me since my original Veteran's Day Tribute, asking how they, or a loved one, could be included in that tribute. Since I can no longer add the photos to the body of the thread, I've been including them in additional posts as I received enough to make another collage.

Still that doesn't seem to be enough. I think there's never been a better nor more appropriate time to keep the faces of our own Veterans and Active Military in front of FReepers--every day! That's why I wanted to do yet another Daily Thread .....ABOUT FReepers .....and FOR FReepers. But not only about our Military FReepers; for all FReepers! Wouldn't it be nice to get to know a few of the other FReepers as well? That's why, in addition to seeing FR's Finest Military Personnel every day, I thought it might be fun to feature a different FReeper (or FReepers) each day. If you would like to be pictured, or know someone who would, please FReepmail me and we'll turn the spotlight - on YOU - for the day!

And do let me know if you'd like your picture added to the groups of Veterans/Active Military below. I will keep this page updated, and continue to add them to the comment section of the original Veteran's Day thread as well.

TOP:  g'nad, AgThorn's son Justin, SLB, AgThorn's son Brett

MIDDLE:  fish70, razorback-bert, CheneyChick,Leroy S Mort, Mark17

BOTTOM:  Terry's Take, Taxman, DinkyDau

TOP:  ValerieUSA's son Grant, SK1Thurman, kd5cts, RangerVetNam,

dansangel and .45man's son-in-law Tony

BOTTOM:  rangerX, Old China Hand, Trish, Howlin's dad, Mustang

TOP: ohioWfan's son, MamaBear's father-in-law, MamaBear's dad, ladtx

MIDDLE:  The Mayor's niece, M.Kehoe, Beach_Babe's son-in-law

BOTTOM:  deadhead's dad, HiJinx, Severa's hubby, viligantcitizen's granddad.

TOP: Q6-God, Scan59, Mama Bear and JKPhoto's son, ofMagog

MIDDLE:  Big'ol_freeper, JustAmy's great uncle, Prodigal Son

BOTTOM:  JustAmy's husband, JustAmy's brother-in-law, JustAmy's brother.

TOP: dakine's wife, MeeknMing's dad, Auntbee's nephew, MilitiaMan7,
AlasBabylon.
BOTTOM:  Joe Brower, Temple Owl, Temple Owl's wife, dutchess' dad,
Aomagrat

                     

Campaign Odyssey in Baghdad

JohnHuang2

"Whew! We dodged a bullet," a senior aid to president Saddam Hussein confided to me last night, relieved as election returns, which began pouring in at sundown, showed the Iraqi leader had handily won another 7-year mandate.

He meant 'bullet' literally.

"Not that we expected a cliff-hanger," he quickly added. "Iraq is no Florida", he said, smiling ear-to-ear. "We knew he'd trounce that old tired goat." The aid was referring to Boublous al-Dole, nominee of the hapless opposition party. (A plane carrying all 10 members mysteriously disappeared tonight. No foul play is suspected, despite a hundred witnesses who swear seeing heat-seeking missiles flying towards the plane as it cruised over downtown Baghdad. Iraq Aviation Administrator, Fakih Frank Hull Hussein, dismisses the witnesses as Great Satan Conspirators.)

And what a campaign season it's been. "This one's for the history books," crowed a jubilant staffer, firing several shots in the air in celebration. He recounted the story of how, back in February, president Hussein ordered mortar fire and tank attacks on some fledgling all-news TV station in Basra. "I guess you can say it was the opening salvo of Campaign 2002," the aid fondly recalled.

But the assault wasn't just for fun, either. Hussein strongly suspected the outlet, founded by some right-winger named Abdul-Roger al-Ailes, was working for the opposition.

"Our President hated that station with a passion," one senior aid recalled. "He called it Faux News, mockingly. There was this host who would come on weeknights at 8, griping about all the charity money being siphoned off for nukes and presidential palaces. He really hated that guy." That's Bill al-Din O'Reilly, erstwhile host of what was the highest rated show on prime-time. As punishment for spreading infidel propaganda, he got 30 years in a re-education camp. As part of his sentence, al-Din O'Reilly was ordered to read First Lady Sajida!'s, 'It Takes an A-Bomb To Raze a Village', a runaway best-seller. Her book, in fact, has straddled atop the Anthrax Times best-seller list since its publication 15 years ago, easily outselling No. 2, "Between Smoking Dope And History," by Bill Clinton.

"To President Hussein, all cowards and traitors are beneath contempt," intoned a senior aid. "He has zero-tolerance for 'em. Except for Bill Clinton. Now that's a coward and a traitor our president can live with. Our dear leader has nothing but admiration for Clinton."

No qualms that Monica was Jewish?

Shrugging his shoulders, he sighed, "well, nobody's perfect."

As for the campaign, "there were bumps along the road," said one aid, "don't get me wrong. It wasn't all smooth sailing."

For campaign staffers, the biggest scare came on the closing night of the Baath Party National Convention in Baghdad. A major sex scandal had broke, involving Saddam's senior political strategist, Duqaq Dick Musa Morris. Hussein, forced to par his acceptance speech down to 12 hours, saw his approval ratings take a tumble, plunging down to 99.9%.

"Thanks to that moron, I never got my convention 'bounce!!'," yelled an angry Hussein that night.

"But we didn't flinch," said a staffer, "no-one hit the panic button, despite those tense days."

"Our dear leader, scrappy survivor that he is, stayed focused -- like a laser beam. As punishment, Saddam ordered a sex change for Duqaq Morris, his wayward advisor."

I asked him what Morris was doing for a living now.

"Well, after his sex change, he looked so much like Helen Thomas, he now subs for her in the White House press room."

So, where's Helen, then?

"I was told she went to Pakistan, to enroll in the Madrassas. She mumbled something about wanting to understand 'why they hate us so much', 'to feel the hate', or something like that," he said.
"After graduation, then come the big plans."

Big plans?

"Yeah, she plans to marry Yasser Arafat. Rumor has it his marriage is on the rocks."

Scarey.

Oh, speaking of which, there were two other scarey moments.

Tonight, as official election returns rolled him, some exit polls in the south were showing lower-than-expected returns, some a disappointingly low 99.6%. Oh no, not another Florida. cliff-hanger.

Then, magically, the big board numbers roar back up to 100%.

"You'd be amazed at what a few bullets, parked in the right places, can do," remarked a senior official in the Republican Guard.

I poked my head out the window of my Baghdad hotel, and lo and behold, you could feel the jubilation, the festivity. The victory rallies were huge, the air filled with chants of, 'We love Saddam -- and Hitler, too! Down with the Jews! Up with the Waffen-SS!'

Close your eyes, and you swear you're in Berkley.

The difference here, of course, are all the Soviet tanks lovingly aimed at the "festive" crowd. The place was ringed with military -- everywhere.

"No big deal, just crowd control, that's all that is" one senior Iraqi official insisted. "Everyone here is free to speak his or her mind -- so long as Saddam approves."

Curious, I decided to work my way into the crowd, mixing things up a bit.

One reveler caught my attention. "I love Saddam! I love Saddam! Down with Bush! Up with Daschle and the Democrats!', she screamed.

hmmm...a typical Boston voter, I thought.

I asked her why she loves Saddam so much.

"I'm here because Bush is threatening my job, my livelihood!"

I asked what she did for a living.

"I do nuclear weapons research at a Baby Milk Factory," she told me proudly. "I used to do Anthrax, but Saddam promoted me to nukes. That's why I hate Bush -- he's threatening to diss our doomsday weapons! That means I'll be out of a job!"

Oh, I see.

The other scarey moment, you ask?

Earlier, as we were watching election returns at the presidential palace, suddenly vice president Ramadan bursts into the room, "I have a cheerful announcement: Saddam had just received a call from the U.S. president!", he shouted.

Huh?

"Yes! President Jimmy Carter called to congratulate Saddam for his victory!"

Figures.

Anyway, that's

My two cents...

THIS WEEK'S THREADs

10-14-02 Molly Pitcher
10-15-02 Dutchess
10-16-02 Anniegetyourgun, RikaStrom

Opinions by our own 'King of Ping' The guy's good, folks!

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[LadyX]

I'll be laughing forever, here at 'the birthing' of a great phrase..:)))

Can't wait for tomorrow to gleefully repost your humdinger, loddy!
You deserve all the bows you choose to take!

Wait until the overseers at the range hear of this, Flyer - they already keep a watchful eye on your group - and have to love you - well, kinda..:))
LOL

[Flyer]

they already keep a watchful eye on your group - and have to love you - well, kinda.

A range officers job is boring. We give them something to do and good conversation after work.

[Dubya]

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Army
beats working for Old Man Minch a mile. Tell them to join up quick before
maybe all the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 am!
but I am getting so I like to sleep late. Tell Walt and Elmer all you do
before breakfast is smooth your cot and shine some things -- no hogs to
slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix, wood to split, fire to lay. Practically
nothing. You got to shave, but it is not bad in warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs, bacon,
etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, beef, ham steak, fried eggplant,
pie and regular food. But tell Walt and Elmer you can always sit between
two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus yours holds you till
noon, when you get fed.

It's no wonder these city boys can't walk much. We go on "route marches,"
which, the Sgt. says, are long walks to harden us. If he thinks so, it is
not my place to tell him different. A "route march" is about as far as to
our mailbox at home. Then the city guys all get sore feet and we ride back
in trucks. The country is nice, but awful flat.

The Sgt. is like a schoolteacher. He nags some. The Capt. is like the
school board. Cols. and Gens. just ride around and frown. They don't
bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing. I keep getting medals for
shooting. I don't know why. The bull's-eye is near as big as a chipmunk
and don't move. And it ain't shooting at you, like the Higsett boys at
home. All you got to do is lie there all comfortable and hit it. You don't
even load your own cartridges. They come in boxes.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellows get
onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving son, Zeb

[Dubya]

"CAMP LEJEUNE, NC"




Eve and me are leaving for Camp Lejeune be back about Oct. 30.
You guys keep up the good work.
Going to have BarBQ at Blessingers in SC on the way.

JESUS SAVES
DUB & EVE

[LadyX]

Give 'em good conversation - yeah!!

"Hey, Joe, are those Kaos Kids returning next week?"
"Think Tom's really gonna do the guns a'blazin' routine again?!"

"Will we hafta do another Accident Report?" groan

"Oh, no - Breaker Breaker's back..:(( "

"Next they'll drag a Civil War cannon out here to eradicate the al Claydas ~ ~ ~ "

[lodwick]

Classic - you guys have a super trip and I'll see ya on my birthday. That's so sweet of you. ;-)

[lodwick]

I shudder to imagine the firepower that this group could bring to bear were it not for the three bones for each additonal weapon.

The mind boggles.

Arrange your schedule for the Spring Shoot. ;-)

[JustAmy]

LOL
This is so funny and probably so true!!

[LadyX]

I'll be there in spirit, loddy, now and then..:)
You'll have to write a special report on this one, though, from the eyes of an 'outsider' on The Finest's Own Range Rovers taking on the al claydas.
It should be a classic.

[lodwick]

OH NO! It's More
BLONDE JOKES!

Did you hear about the blonde who only smelled good on the right side?
She didn't know where to buy Left Guard!

How can you tell when a blonde has been using your computer?
There's white-out all over the screen.

Why did the blonde lose her job as an elevator operator?
She couldn't remember the route.

What do blondes and cow pies have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.

How do you put a twinkle in a blonde's eye?
Shine a flashlight in her ear.

What goes "VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH..."?
A blonde at a flashing red light!

What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
The winner of the Hide and Seek game.

Did you hear about the blonde who won a gold medal at the Olympics?
She was so proud of it she had it bronzed.

Why do blondes write TGIF on their shoes?
"Toes Go In First"!

What do you call a blonde in a leather jacket?
A rebel without a clue!


It's getting late for me guys. ;-)

[JustAmy]

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction.

The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out. The father said to his son, "Go get your mother."

***************


Heh Heh Heh

[LadyX]

"It's getting late for me guys. ;-)"

Going to rest on your laurels, eh, JL, and exit stage left?!!

Yew done good today..:))

[JustAmy]

At a jewelry store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweler. The young man thought for a moment, and then, ever the pragmatic, steadfastly replied,

"No, just engrave it: To My One And Only Love. That way, if we break up and she throws it back to me in anger, I can use it again."

*************


Heh Heh Heh

[lodwick]

Some days are better than others, but if the left coast is going to join in, I may rally for a few more posts.

Frank - the elevator joke is so old, and so classic - thanks for bringing it. ;-)

[JustAmy]

Okay, Lodwick .... How about this one?

A couple of blondes were driving through Louisiana when they came to a sign that told them they were almost to Natchitoches. They argued all the way there about how to pronounce the name of the town. Finally they stopped for lunch. After getting their food, one of the blondes said to the cashier, "Can you settle an argument for us? Very slowly, tell us where we are."

The cashier leaned over the counter and said:

"Buuurrrrrr-Gerrrrrr Kiiiinnnnnggg"

**********



Heh Heh Heh

[LadyX]

I keep forgetting it's only 8 out there.
I'm watching the 11 p.m. news!

[JustAmy]

Or ....... How about this one?

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they just couldn't! The blonde with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath. The other blonde said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down."

******************


Heh Heh Heh

[Aquamarine]

LOL! That was hilarious! The best things written anywhere are posted right here on Freerepublic, thanks for sharing your abundance of talent with us. :)

[LadyX]

Oh, no!!
I love it, Amy JustFrank!

[Aquamarine]

You're from the area around Indian River? Some of the best produce grown in the South comes out of that area. I have some Indian River orange juice in my fridge that has the freshest orange juice taste around!