Free Republic

While The Chosen One spent a week and a half hobnobbing with the Euro Hoi Polloi, McCain remained home and ate Obama’s lunch. The lap-dog press waxed rhapsodic over Obama’s ability to speak as an equal with foreign leaders like Germany’s Andrea Merkel and France’s Sarkozy, but unlike Obama, those two actually won their elections! The closest analog might have been England’s Gordon Brown, who gained his office through internal party machinations and who came into power with high ratings that have since tanked on broken promises and a string of humiliating electoral defeats. Sound familiar? Now Obama’s poll numbers...

About once every two months or so the Beast is dragged from his cubicle and forced to watch some videotape or power point presentation about “respect in the workplace”. The general tenor of these videos seems to be aimed at teaching the white guys “How Not To Piss Off The Chicks And Minorities In Your Office”. The minorities seem to find this funny as hell and the chicks don’t care - they know that sometimes it’s impossible NOT to piss them off - and most kind of like to be hit on, as long as it’s from men they like....

Well, it's Shark Week on Discovery Channel again, folks. This one looks like it will suck as usual. They've rolled in all their series guys: "Mythbusters", "Dirty Jobs" and "Survivor Man". And we'll be treated to the usual pious platitudes from PETA-Channeling, cognitively dissonant conservationists ("Sharks don't really want to bite us.") The beast is already yawning. There was one high point in last year's season, though. The documentary "Sharkman". It featured a nutty South African who free swims with White Sharks. And he gets CLOSE, boys and girls! Mark Rutzen made his first big splash last season during Discovery...

A few months ago the Beast came across a fascinating analysis of this year’s campaign using “Game Theory”. Now, the only game theory the Beast knows is that if you try to take Asia while playing Risk you’re doomed. If you attempt it while playing the drinking game version of Risk, you could well slide into a coma. But we digress. Here’s the thesis in a nutshell: in a bad year for the GOP, Republican voters chose to play it safe when they picked McCain. Yes, they weren’t going to get the big ideological payoff from him they might have...

You too can write like a loony conspiracy theorist! Welcome to the THB Moonbat Writing Tutorial, M1. In this first lesson we will go over the style and content guidelines for writing like a true left-wing Blogger. You only need to learn a few simple rules and you can be up and howling at the moon like all your buddies! Please read each rule carefully and complete the Sample Assignments below. The Moonbat Stylebook: 1. Rage Against the Dying of the Light. Emotion is a perfectly acceptable alternative to reason. In fact, in most cases it’s preferable, because you don’t...

If the government gets into the business of regulating and controlling carbon emissions it will be an unparalleled concentration of power far exceeding the New Deal under Roosevelt. The government will be in complete control over what businesses and average citizens consume and produce. It is the gateway excuse to rule, regulate and control your daily life in a fashion that we have never tolerated before but are now expected to meekly accept as we attempt to bailout the bathtub with a teaspoon. Never have Americans been so willing to hand over the most fundamental financial, transportation and quality of...

Markos personally attacks John McCain for having teeth that aren’t white enough. I mean, they have teeth whitening products today. Just ask Chuck Norris. There’s also photoshop. No one at Camp McCain thinks this is relevant or worth fixing? … and seriously, that’s just gross. For the record (from HotAir.com): In 1968 he was offered early release, and when he refused, because others had been there longer, his captors went at him again; he suffered cracked ribs, teeth broken off at the gum line, and torture with ropes that lashed his arms behind his back and that were progressively tightened...

It’s well past time, dear reader, for us to announce the winners of our glorious Fifth Annual Horrible College-Student Poetry Competition. Before we get under way with the kudos and acclaim, however, we would like to make a few remarks as a prolegomenon. First, we should thank all those who entered our humble contest. As our official contest judge, Anonymous, can well tell you, there were some really execrable bits of verse entered this year. Really, really wretched stuff. Accordingly, Anonymous, though a poet of the ages, had great difficulty choosing our winners. Ah, but he had some help. Michael...

“…by the Buoys of Argos!” Have you ever had a big barbeque ruined because you can’t get the grill hot enough to cook the meat? This must be how the Global Warming crowd is feeling these days. From The National Post: So much for ’settled science’ You may have heard earlier this month that global warming is now likely to take break for a decade or more. There will be no more warming until 2015, perhaps later. Climate scientist Noel Keenlyside, leading a team from Germany’s Leibniz Institute of Marine Science and the Max Planck Institute of Meteorology, for the...

The picture confirms that Cheech was the real brain of the team. This dude really does live in Portland.

The political and social left’s ongoing romance with moral relativism is drearily familiar to us all. How many times have we been told there is no ultimate right or wrong, just shades of perspective? What’s anathema to one person may be the daily pit-stop to another. Of course, this is only true up to a point. The left is just as capable (if not moreso) of creating their own moral absolutes as their foes on the right. “Choice’ becomes an ultimate imperative over “Life”, for example. Remember when Al Gore’s redefined the so-called “Climate Change” crisis as a “moral issue”?...

Horror on the Beach. And in our "It's Been a Bloody Spring" Department, we present the seventh (or is it eighth?) shark attack since the beginning of March... A white pointer up to five metres (sixteen feet in real measurement) long attacked schoolteacher Jason Cull, 37, while he was swimming with dolphins at Middleton Beach, in front of the Albany Surf Life Saving Club at 7.20am yesterday. Joanne Lucas, 50, who was on the beach after arriving early for surfboat rowing practice, dived into the water after hearing Mr Cull’s screams for help. “I just saw someone thrashing in the...

You knew this was coming. Global Warming is to blame for everything these days, including Global Cooling. From The Guardian: Two deaths in the waters off California and Mexico last week and a spate of shark-inflicted injuries to surfers off Florida’s Atlantic coast have left beachgoers seeking an explanation for a sudden surge in the number of strikes. In the first four months of this year, there were four fatal shark attacks worldwide, compared with one in the whole of 2007, according to the International Shark Attack File at the Florida Museum of Natural History in Gainesville. Of course, these...

From the Wall Street Journal: Often it seems as though American higher education exists only to provide gag material for the outside world. The latest spectacle is an Ivy League professor threatening to sue her students because, she claims, their “anti-intellectualism” violated her civil rights. Priya Venkatesan taught English at Dartmouth College. She maintains that some of her students were so unreceptive of “French narrative theory” that it amounted to a hostile working environment. She is also readying lawsuits against her superiors, who she says papered over the harassment, as well as a confessional exposé, which she promises will “name...

Despite all our differences—black and white; young and old; Obama-supporting and sane—one thing binds us together: We all despise college students. And rightfully so, we must add. After all, is anything more annoying than the appalling illiteracy of these self-indulgent, lazy proto-drunkards? We, the crack young staff of “The Hatemonger’s Quarterly,” collectively think not. But there is one way you can get back at these obnoxious upper-middle-class acquaintance rapists. You can tease them ceaselessly by composing your own execrable verse in the style of inept collegiate balladry. That is to say, dear reader, you can write a poem in the...

****UPDATE 4 From Swim at Your Own Risk**** Victim Pic in. Contrary to earlier reports he still appears to have legs but they don't look good.

A man was killed in a shark attack off the coast of San Diego Friday morning. According to reports surfers spotted the man swimming in the waters of Solana Beach in an area known as Fletcher’s Cove. They then noticed the man begin to struggle and after they reached to help him they saw that he had been attacked by a shark and had both his legs severed at the knee.

This public safety ad (h/t mark Steyn at The Corner) must have sent Canadian kids to bed with nightmares by the tens of thousands. Another milestone in Canada's continuing cultural collapse. VIDEO HERE

Hilarious mock-tutorial. This appears to be the end of the series. If you have not been following poor Donnie’s passive-aggressive adventures as his life collapses into bitterness and chaos. DO NOT WATCH THESE LAST TWO IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE EARLIER ONES! Links to all below.

It appears that Katie Couric is on her way out at CBS News. This should come as no surprise to anybody - except perhaps the Suits at CBS News, who chose her to replace Dan Rather in the first place. Everybody but them knew Katie would not last, so the question shouldn’t be “Why did she fail?” but “Why did they make such a bone-headed decision?”. This is particularly important because now they have to choose someone to replace her and they need to make a better pick, which means they need to know what they did wrong the first...