Free Republic

EEE-vil Republicans! They want to starve the poor and use them for fertilizer! So says DUmmie NNN0LHI, and the other DUmmies agree. ONLY THE GOVERNMENT, under the enlightened rule of truly compassionate progressives--ONLY federal social programs can really help the poor. And what's more, DUmmie NNN0LHI has come up with a nifty TRAP, a conversational gambit, to catch the EEE-vil Republicans in their EEE-vilness! It all comes out here in this THREAD, "Want to know the question to ask baggers when they suggest cutting social programs?" So let us go inside DUmmieland and find out DUmmie NNN0LHI's top-secret magical...

One of the favorite writing styles of the DUmmies and the KOmmies is the use of parallel construction. By this I mean that they style their sentences to begin the same way and then they vary the second part. The DUmmies and the KOmmies think this is good writing. The DUmmies and the KOmmies think this is effective writing. The DUmmies and the KOmmies think this is writing with style and great earnestness. The DUmmies and the KOmmies do this parallel-construction bit over and over and over again, ad nauseam, ad infinitum. The DUmmies and the KOmmies do parallel...

Keith Olbermann's national audience holds a 'meet-up' with the star. Keith Olbermann is BACK! And Algore's got him! Yes, Keefie is back on TV, bringing his "Meltdown" show to Uncle Al's little vanity network, Current TV. However, after the initial voyeur factor, when people tuned in to see Keef reduced to such rank humiliation, now his numbers are doing a nosedive even from that. The DUmmies dwell on this, here in this THREAD, "'Countdown’ on Current TV Drops 30% in Week Two." And then there is other news in the TV lib-talk wars: Eliot Spitzer has been CANCELED! OH NOES!...

The Independence Day holiday would not be complete without hearing from the Prime Minister of Great Written, William Pitt the Drunker. Wee Willie puts down his fifth long enough to do an essay on the Fourth, here in this THREAD, "I Pledge Allegiance to the Pole (some thoughts on the Fourth of July)." So since we're still within 24 business hours of the Fourth, let us go forth into the Mind of the Magic Man, in Written-Long-But-Not-Much-Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, is in the [brackets]: I Pledge Allegiance to the Pole [Pitt's real...

"Don't know much about history. . . ." A new study shows that such is is the case for a significant percentage of the American populace. For example, they don't know much about the historical basis for Independence Day, the Fourth of July. They don't know what it's about, when independence occurred, who we became independent from, or why. So how do the DUmmies react to this study? At first, they assume that the ignoramuses must be a bunch of mouth-breathing redneck rethugs. But then it begins to dawn on them . . . What does this study say...

"Don't you DARE question my patriotism!" cry the DUmmies, lest they be accused of being anti-American. Vainly do they try to wrap themselves in the flag, in an effort to mask their radical leftist tendencies. And so when Independence Day rolls around, they feel they must take back the holiday from the domain of the Teabaggers--even though the Founding Fathers were the ORIGINAL Tea Party! Even though the DUmmies really HATE the Fourth of July and all it stands for, they must pretend otherwise. How successful are they? Let's find out on this THREAD, "Time to ban the 4th...

"Another Saturday night, and I ain't got nobody. . . ." What's a DUmmie to do? How do you find that special someone? Someone to share a magical evening of watching Cenk Uygur repeats, blowing a bong, and munching Doritos? Ah, to be young and in love! Dating for DUmmies is the subject of this THREAD, "Do you subject potential romantic partners to a litmus test?" So let us take a trip down the Tunnel of Lib, in Romantic Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if DUmmie stevenumbers ever found a date who...

We're now into July, and the debate is heating up on whether or not Congress will increase the debt ceiling before the August 2 deadline. Where do the DUmmies come down on this? Why, raise the debt ceiling, of course! And make The Rich pay for it! If it's a choice between taxing more or spending less, the DUmmies will take taxes every time--as long as they're not the ones having to pay them. But cut spending? Cut their socialist wealth-redistribution schemes that are bankrupting this country? No way! Which is why the DUmmies *should* be singing this song...

DUmmie nadinbrzezinski, the World's Foremost Authority, now has extended her realm of expertise to include other galaxies. Not content to stick to the Milky Way (perhaps the milk has been contaminated by radiation gas clouds), Know-it-all Nadin boldly goes where no moonbat has gone before. Here in this THREAD, The All-Knowing One condescends to gift us puny earthlings with her thoughts "On alien life, and whether it is possible." So let us now ascend through the clouds of ignorance and enter the Mind of Nadin Brzzznzsnsszki, in Sputnik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson,...

DUmmies are experts in using things in ways that were never intended. I mean, look at how they pay lip-service to the Constitution, even though their desire for Unlimited Big Government completely disregards the framers' original intent. Then there's their support for the Homo-American community, whose members put their "members" where they were never intended to go. So it's no surprise that a DUmmie would post this THREAD, "What commercial product do you use in a way not intended?" Cyberspace was never meant for moonbats, but they take up the electrons nonetheless. Well, at least they do provide us...

DUmmie kentuck hates Republicans. I mean, he really, REALLY hates Republicans. He thinks we want to throw Grandma out on the street so we can give tax breaks to billionaires. So from time to time--like from now until . . . now--DUmmie kentuck feels a need to let loose with his hate, and he wants others to join in. Thus he posts this THREAD, "Let's talk about Republicans." So let us see kentuck and the DUmmies work up a frothing good hatefest, in Bolshevik Red, while the cool, calm, and collected commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson,...

Fatter than a pile of bullsh*t . . . More powerful than a loco moonbat . . . Able to heap all bad things in a single Bush . . . Look! Up on the screen! It's a blog! It's a prog! No, it's . . . GRAY RANTER! Yes, GRAY RANTER, strange visitor to the Daily KOs, who comes to KOmmieland with powers of insanity far beyond those of moron man, and who, disguised as Alan "Dick" Grayson, ill-mannered one-term representative from Outlandish, Florida, fights a never-ending battle for speaking TRUTH to POWER in an EMBARRASSING WAY! That's...

OK, gang, I'm going to do a DUbble-DUFU today, just simply because this may be the Best Bouncy of All Time, and I want to post it in case it gets flushed down the Memory Hole. You remember what a "Bouncy" is, don't you? It is a (supposedly) real-life experience posted by a DUmmie, in which the DUmmie bravely stands up to a rethuglican, confronting and/or converting the rethug, usually at a family gathering or a retail store, the posting of which is followed by lots of "Attaboys!" and "You're my hero!" Of course, these bouncies are highly "embellished"...

So the KOmmies of Daily Kos just held their annual NUtroots Nation convention this past weekend. This one was held in Minneapolis. Just think: Five years ago, NUtroots Nation was held in Las Vegas, where potential presidential candidates hosted fancy soirées for the KOmmies, complete with chocolate fountains and impressive ice sculptures. Now this year, the KOmmies are in Minneapolis, they're stuck with Obama, and no one is lining up to buy their votes. How the mighty have fallen! From chocolate fountains to lutefisk. From ice sculptures to ice fishing. And worst of all, from Obamassiah to Bush Lite....

It must be tough to be a DUmmie. You're riding high on Monday. You're down in the DUmps by Thursday. It's the Freudenschade Express, and you're riding that roller coaster, round and round, up and down, up and down, week in and week out. So it goes with Weinergate. On Monday the DUmmies were crowing. Now today they are eating crow. Witness this THREAD, "It's Over. Weiner Has Survived." It started on Manic Monday, but now it's Torpid Thursday, and the roller coaster is going DOWN, FAST! So let us now hop on the Freudenschade Express--in the red car,...

Welcome to Saint Antfarm College in DUmmieland, New Hempshare. Behind me on the stage are the DUmmies who will be debating tonight's Republican debate. And tonight's debate will be different from any debate you've seen before in the history of the world. First of all, I will be your moderator, which makes it special right there. I am CNN's John King--I'm not Joe King. Second, nobody will be making any sense whatsoever--these are the DUmmies, remember. And third, I will be constantly grunting, interrupting, and generally rushing people along. I will take 45 questions to ask a question, and...

"Freudenschade" is defined in the DUFU Dictionary as the premature elation of the DUmmies when they pop the champagne corks too soon and then have to taste DUst in their mouth when things go south. The term originated when the DUmmies were SURE Fitzmas was just around the corner, and one of them rejoiced with the malaprop, "Freudenschade, baby!" So every time we see a Freudenschade moment over at the DUmp, it gives us big LAFFS here at DUmmie FUnnies! We have such a moment now. The release of Governor Sarah Palin's e-mails promised to be a TREASURE TROVE...

One of our favorite DUmmie thread-types is the one in which the poster relates a real-life incident wherein he or she (or it) comes off as the Valiant Prog Hero, boldly confronting and/or converting a poor backward rethuglican. Often these stories are highly embellished, to say the least, if not downright fanciful. But it does gain the poster some Underground-fives from his fellow DUmmies. We have an example today in this THREAD by DUmmie dorksied, "I was called a 'Libtard' in public, replied with 'Better than a Repiglicker', got punched. LOL." So let us now go to DUmmieland, aka...

Do the DUmmies have ANY moral standards at all? Sometimes you wonder. But the news today--reported in this THREAD, "Weiner’s Wife Is PREGNANT"--have even the Undergrounders shaking their head. Many of them are ready to throw their Weiner under the bus! So let us drop in on the Weiner Roast, in Red Hot Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, nominating Anthony Weiner to succeed John Edwards as Father of the Year, is in the [brackets]: Weiner’s Wife Is PREGNANT [Well, at least it works!] But none of it relates to his voting record. [As...

EDWARDS-WEINER 2012CHEATY AND TWEETYTHE TOTAL PACKAGE "THEY" are at it again! Those mysterious unseen forces are bringing down progressives left and left! John Edwards: VICTIM. Anthony Weiner: VICTIM. Dennis Kucinich: VICTIM. The list goes on and on. Ooh, those "THEY" people!! I could stamp my little feet! That's what DUmmie RandomThoughts does today in this THREAD, "So how many people do you think noticed." So let us take a trip to the land where progressives can do no wrong, DUmmieland, where the comments are in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--asking the DUmmies to...