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Test and fine-tune your modernist-church-detection abilities against your communist-architecture-detection skills! It's harder than you think...

1) You learned how to spell with this song: [video] 2) You survived a Fear Factor inspired eating game. 3) You’ve been to Mexico for a mission/service trip. 4) You’ve given your “testimony” to a large group before. 5) Your public prayers are filled with “Father God” and “just…” 6) You learned just enough on the guitar to lead worship songs with 4 chords.

Some humor my Catholic FRiends will enjoy in these challenging times. Modified slightly from the original which I heard recently. So, after the Synod on the Family in Rome, Cardinal Kasper crosses the river to get a little night cap. He wanders into a bar and sits down next to two gentlemen who are already there. They exchange pleasantries and intoduce themselves to each other. One of the men is a medical doctor and the other is an architect. They get into a long and passionate discussion about the value of their respective occupations and the question arises as to...

All of these are from the Things Jesus Never Said Facebook Page.

Brethren, Peace be with you. Observing the media coverage of the ongoing Synod of Bishops in Rome, I wondered how the media would have covered that first "synod" or gathering of Christians in Jerusalem in 50 A.D. Please join me in this imaginative tour as we accompany a Roman journalist in his investigation and reporting.    Conflict in Jerusalem: Conservative Palestinian Jews and Liberal Jews from the Diaspora Battle for the Soul of the Christos' Way. Jerusalem, Saturday, eve before the XVI kalends of November, DCCCIII a. U. C.  Representatives of the Christos' movement from Judea, Syria, and elsewhere in...

Like most people, I occasionally put my foot in my mouth. That can involve calling a friend by the wrong name, making a double entendre, or realizing that I’ve just asked out a nun. Well, technically she was a sister. Last year, I visited Aquinas College (a Catholic university in Tennessee) to watch a friend receive an award for a paper he’d written. There were other students up for awards that night, and more than a few of them were wearing habits. The sisters gave informed talks on a number of issues, including religious freedom in Vietnam and the relationship...

he other day I ate some rather extraordinary Thai food for lunch and, on my way out, grabbed a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and read a silly little proverb meant to inspire, I suppose. I wish it had said “Brisk uphill walk after all-you-can-eat Thai is a bad idea.” Never mind. As I waddled my way home, regretting that last bowl of curry (so delicious…), I thought “This fortune sounds like something Joel Osteen would say.” And then it struck me—there is very little difference between Joel and those fortune cookies (except that the cookies are delicious, of...

VATICAN–According to reports today, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI is seeking the chair of his pontificate months after his resignation. The news has sent shock waves around the world.Vatican spokesman Fr. Vitateli Devitiamani told EOTT that, “He came for a dinner as scheduled and then proceeded to return to his old living quarters. That wouldn’t be a problem, since His Holiness Pope Francis chose to live elsewhere, the room is open. However, once we asked him where he was going, he simply said, ‘I’m back,’ then proceeded to put his sunglasses on even though we were inside.”Sources say that the next...

It seems that not a day passes without Pope Francis’s off-the-cuff homilies and remarks producing a theological embarrassment: Mary “perhaps” felt tricked by God when she saw Her son on the Cross (“Lies! I was cheated!”), Christ merely pretended to be angry with this disciples (“Jesus does not become angry, but pretends to”), Matthew clung to his money when Christ called him (“No, not me! No, this money is mine!”), rather than immediately heeding Our Lord’s call as the Gospel records (Matt. 9:9-13)­—and so on and so forth, day in and day out. Just yesterday Francis, resuming his morning Masses...

When I entered I saw what I had written. I wanted to say a word to you and the word is “joy”. Wherever there are consecrated people, seminarians, men and women religious, young people, there is joy, there is always joy! It is the joy of freshness, the joy of following Jesus; the joy that the Holy Spirit gives us, not the joy of the world. There is joy! but — where is joy born? Joy is born from the gratuitousness of an encounter! It is hearing someone say, but not necessarily with words: “You are important to me”. This...

Traditional catholic speed dating (cartoon on linky)

Proverb 13 (NKJV) Wisdom Loves Righteousness 01 A wise son heeds his father's instruction, 00 But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. 02 A man shall eat well by the fruit of his mouth, 00 But the soul of the unfaithful feeds on violence. 03 He who guards his mouth preserves his life, 00 But he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction. 04 The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; 00 But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich. 05 A righteous man hates lying, 00 But a wicked man is...

It is tradition among the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity. The night before perpetual profession there’s a ‘Bride of Christ Shower’ (simple, yet festive reception) for the Sister(s) professing perpetual vows. Candles and lights helped create a warm atmosphere of joyful sharing on Sister Pamela Catherine’s August 1, 2014 party. Franciscan Bridal Shower BrideWho comes? The party is planned by those Sisters in Temporary Vows. Sisters on our General Administration are invited along with any Sisters who served as a support community for the Sister Pamela Catherine or for the Sisters in Temporary Profession that summer.

My wife and I recently attended a sports banquet for one of our kids' sports teams at a local restaurant. It was one of those events that I wanted to go to about as much as I wanted to get three teeth pulled. But my wife assured me it would be fun. I didn't believe her but I came anyway. We've gone to so many of these things as my five kids are on at least three sports teams. All the kids sat together at a long table and all the parents sat at another table with the coaches. I have...

[Guest blogger Todd Unctuous is top commentator for MSM. With a degree in Media Studies from Scranton Community College, Todd writes for many papers and websites, and is known for his incisive writing, objective reporting and razor sharp comment.] As we prepare to celebrate the Forth of July vacation this weekend I am deeply concerned to find that a small group of rich white Christian men are persecuting women in their businesses by denying them proper health care. I have heard that the owner of Hobby Lobby insists that his female employees sign a contract assuring him that they are...

Courtesy of the very funny folks at CatholicMemes.com.Who saw this coming? The papal craziness hits a new high on Sunday, July 13 — OMIGOSH, it’s 7/13, and Pope Francis was elected on 3/13/13, and my mind is blown — when Argentina goes up against Germany in the finals of the FIFA World Cup of Soccer/Football, in Rio de Janeiro, host city for Francis’ triumphal “Pope-acabana” phenomenon at 2013 World Youth Day.Some are even calling it the Pope Cup and hashtagging it #PopeCupSunday.The Catholic world now faces a dilemma of intercontinental proportions.Team Benedict XVI or Team Francis? And if you...

In an astonishing move today, Minority Leader of the House of Representatives and Mouthpiece of God in the United States Nancy Pelosi has excommunicated San Francisco Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone. The move comes just a day after Pelosi sent Cordileone a letter asking him not to attend the National Organization for Marriage march in Washington D.C., calling the event “venom masquerading as virtue.” In response to the letter, Cordileone issued a response saying that the March for Marriage “is not anti-LGBT, but rather, it is a pro-marriage march.” The letter of excommunication begins with Pelosi regretfully informing the San Francisco bishop...

ROME – Pope Francis led a pep rally yesterday in Rome’s Olympic Stadium in front of more than 50,000 Catholics who follow charismatic movements.While listening to what many have termed “the most heinous music ever prayed to,” 50,000 Catholics raised their hands in unison as they prayed for Francis, who silently and repeatedly asked God Almighty to just make it stop.Francis told the faithful that the devil wants to destroy the family, which he described as the “domestic church,” and went on to plead for the end of the use of torture.“We also call on the international community to put...

I wonder what would happen if we treated our Bible like we treat our cell phones? .....;

True story: Several years ago I drove home from my office and pulled in front of my house. As I was getting out of my car, a local homeless women was standing right behind me, as if she had materialized out of thin air. Before I could say anything, she stated (in a thick Anglo-Indian accent), "Pardon me sir, can you tell me the name of a dentist whose last name begins with 'Mc'?" I thought for a moment and replied, "No, I'm sorry, I cannot tell you the name of any dentists whose last name begins with 'Mc'. Can...