Free Republic

No, FR is not trying to quash satire. However, it should be clearly labeled as such in the title. Some people seem to think it's great trickling our readers into falling for satire. It's not. A lot of people come to FR and scan the headlines clicking on articles of interest. If they're not familiar with the author or source, they may be misled and may even pass it on to others. No thanks. If you post satire, please label it as "satire' in the title. Thanks

New York City Police Commissioner Bill Bratton defended the bludgeoning of 84 year old Kang Wong by City police officers as “fully justified.” The incident occurred as part of the City’s new “get tough on jaywalking” campaign. Wong, who does not speak English was roughed up by several cops when he failed to obey the first officer’s command to stay put as he wrote Wong a ticket for jaywalking. After the beat down Wong was taken to the hospital where surgical staples had to be applied to close a scalp wound. Bratton insisted that the scalp wound “must’ve happened when...

In his continuing quest to find the “real killers” of America’s prosperity, President Obama is now testing out the idea that laziness lies at the root of the prolonged recession we’re in. “Look, we in government have been going all out trying to get the economy moving,” the president told an audience of campaign supporters. “In the last two years the federal government has spent more than it ever has before. We’ve generously handed out money left and right. We’ve added new guidelines and procedures to virtually every segment of industry in an effort to direct businesses toward a more...

The protest on Wall Street is chafing under an unwanted “infiltration from below.” It seems that while the focus of the protest has been aimed at transferring wealth from the 1% above to the “deserving” 99% below, uninvited lower echelons of the 99%–namely the homeless vagrants that infest many American cities are showing up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sharla Tane, one of the Occupy Wall Street cooking staff, complained that “our hard work is being filched by spongers looking for a free meal.” The problem isn’t prejudice, Tane insisted. “I mean, we’re not against government helping the poor. In...

President Obama’s widely anticipated speech before a joint session of Congress on Thursday stunned and amazed his erstwhile political opponents. “Until I heard it from his own lips I never realized how mistaken the GOP plans to tear up all the roads and burn down all the schools were,” said House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-Va). “And now that I know the President’s jobs plan is endorsed by the Teamsters’ Jimmy Hoffa and the AFL-CIO’s Richard Trumka, well, let’s just say that my eyes have really been opened.” Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky) admitted that he was skeptical at...

Although he once labeled Iran a tiny country posing little threat to the United States, President-Elect Barack Obama pointed out that he also said Iran was a genuine threat. This cautious policy straddle during the campaign is now reflected in his announced strategy for how his administration will deal with that country. “We should be willing to initiate diplomacy as a mechanism to achieve our national security goals, and my national security team, I think, is reflective of that practical, pragmatic approach to foreign policy,” Obama said. “I faced bullies in high school. I found then that if I gave...

The election is only two weeks away, so it is time to reveal that Barack Obama is a flag-burning America hater. I have gotten e-mails for weeks telling me so, and those e-mails include links to the Internet, so they must be true, because the Internet is the only place you can find the straight poop that the mainstream media won't dare to tell you! -SNIP- My friends, Obama is not an Arab, and the whole flag fraud began as a stab at humor by a conservative blogger named John Semmens after the flap over the lapel pin. Humor is...

I have some breaking news to report: The AZ Conservative site and stories written by John Semmens are SATIRE. As in The Onion. As in Aristophanes. As in Jonathon Swift. They are NOT real news stories. Many FReepers are becoming koolaid drinkers over SATIRICAL CONTENT. It is not real. It is meant for your amusement. Please realize this lest we turn into Daily Kos of the right. That is all.

The state Democratic Party chairman, Bobo Chickpuss, says the party has used up its $150,000 line of credit. As it turns out, nearly half the money was spent on calls to so-called “900 sex talk” lines. “The working girls on these lines are voters,” said Chickpuss. “Calling them is part of our outreach program to people we feel would be receptive to the Democratic Party’s message.” The outreach program was former Arkansas Governor Bill Clinton’s idea. Started in 1989, the program has drawn many of these women in to work with Democratic Party officials on various matters.