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Sluggish Economy Blamed on Lazy Americans
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 18 Nov 2011 | John Semmens

Posted on 11/18/2011 9:23:31 PM PST by John Semmens

In his continuing quest to find the “real killers” of America’s prosperity, President Obama is now testing out the idea that laziness lies at the root of the prolonged recession we’re in.

“Look, we in government have been going all out trying to get the economy moving,” the president told an audience of campaign supporters. “In the last two years the federal government has spent more than it ever has before. We’ve generously handed out money left and right. We’ve added new guidelines and procedures to virtually every segment of industry in an effort to direct businesses toward a more fruitful utilization of the nation’s resources. I mean, it’s been a tireless effort on our part to get things moving.”

“In contrast, what has the private sector done?” Obama asked. “Consumers won’t spend. Businesses won’t invest. This is despite a massive increase in the money supply from the Fed that has made borrowing very inexpensive. The private sector is just not doing its part.”

“Pure laziness is about the best face I can put on the private sector’s failure to cooperate,” the president speculated. “People apparently just don’t care enough about what I’m trying to do for this country to put forth the effort I need to make the recovery work.”

The president indicated that “some of my advisors are urging me to take sterner measures. They say that the problem lies in relying upon voluntary compliance with the government’s incentives and encouragement. They counsel more direct instructions, narrower tolerances for deviations, and stiffer penalties for disobedience. I hope it won’t have to come to that, but I can wait too much longer for results.”

In related news, former President Bill Clinton’s new book—Back to Work: Why We Need Smart Government for a Strong Economy—called for higher taxes and spending to reviveAmerica’s faltering economy. “The idea that we can sit back and wait for the economy to get back to work on its own makes no sense,”Clintonwrote. “It’s time that the president tells Americans to get their lazy butts off the couch and mow the lawn or there’ll be no allowance this week. Unless government takes firmer control over everyone’s purse strings I don’t see how we can hope to get the country on the right track.”

read more...

http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/sluggish-economy-blamed-on-lazy-americans/


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: americans4prosperity; barackhusseinobama; bho; clinton; craptire; donotbotherreading; johnsemmens; kochbrothers; laziness; lazy; lazyamericans; maobama; notworthreading; obama; satire; semmens; stupid; wasteoftime

1 posted on 11/18/2011 9:23:37 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: 43north; #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; ...

ping


2 posted on 11/18/2011 9:24:54 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
Sluggish Economy Blamed on Lazy Americans

Or an inept president.

3 posted on 11/18/2011 9:26:15 PM PST by doc1019 (Romney will never get my vote)
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To: John Semmens

Good satire but the cause of our failing economy is a serious subject. You can’t build a growing economy by outsourcing your production.


4 posted on 11/18/2011 9:26:56 PM PST by freedomfiter2 (Brutal acts of commission and yawning acts of omission both strengthen the hand of the devil.)
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To: John Semmens

Kick out the illegals who are doing jobs Americans WILL DO and u will find legal Americans are not lazy at all.


5 posted on 11/18/2011 9:30:34 PM PST by tennmountainman
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To: John Semmens

Thanks for the ping. Good to see your still at it.


6 posted on 11/18/2011 9:30:34 PM PST by pnut22
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To: doc1019

agreed.


7 posted on 11/18/2011 9:32:56 PM PST by television is just wrong
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To: John Semmens

Negrodamus is NOT inept... he is doing it on purpose..
ONLY republicans can give him the benefit of the doubt..

“Top down, bottom up, inside out...”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZeoTskdsUM


8 posted on 11/18/2011 9:33:44 PM PST by hosepipe (This propaganda has been edited to include some fully orbed hyperbole...)
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To: John Semmens

Orwellian isn’t it??


9 posted on 11/18/2011 9:35:29 PM PST by GeronL (The Right to Life came before the Right to Pursue Happiness)
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To: John Semmens
Freebies and handouts tend to make one lazy.

Photobucket

10 posted on 11/18/2011 9:42:15 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Stop BIG Government Greed Now!!!!)
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To: John Semmens
Eat your peas!!!


11 posted on 11/18/2011 9:43:27 PM PST by TigersEye (Life is about choices. Your choices. Make good ones.)
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To: FlingWingFlyer

Iz that a pik-i-nik basket?


12 posted on 11/18/2011 9:48:05 PM PST by hedgetrimmer
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To: John Semmens

Good to see you posting again, John.


13 posted on 11/18/2011 9:57:43 PM PST by aquila48
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To: John Semmens

75 rounds of golf will only stimulate the economy so much.


14 posted on 11/18/2011 10:03:52 PM PST by smokingfrog ( sleep with one eye open ( <o> ---)
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To: John Semmens

Once again your satire is so perilously close to reality it is hard to read without throwing up. But I guess that’s what makes it cutting edge.


15 posted on 11/18/2011 10:10:22 PM PST by Blado (2008: Year Zero of the Zombie Apocalypse.)
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To: John Semmens
"In his continuing quest to find the “real killers” of America’s prosperity, President Obama...."

Now THAT is funny.

16 posted on 11/18/2011 10:49:53 PM PST by FormerACLUmember
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To: John Semmens
"We’ve added new guidelines and procedures to virtually every segment of industry in an effort to direct businesses toward a more fruitful utilization of the nation’s resources."

Hmmmmm. That's real close to the line between reality and satire. Mebbe over.

Good job, John, keep 'em coming!

17 posted on 11/18/2011 11:12:41 PM PST by Smokin' Joe (How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing)
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To: John Semmens

Great to see you posting again. I hope this thread is not closed, as some of your other recent threads have been. You have many fans on FR.


18 posted on 11/19/2011 1:29:56 AM PST by TChad
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To: John Semmens

Well, at least he’s stopped blaming evil ATM machines.


19 posted on 11/19/2011 1:52:56 AM PST by Fresh Wind ('People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook.' Richard M. Nixon)
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To: John Semmens

Good to see ya back on FR friend! Don’t let the stards get ya down.


20 posted on 11/19/2011 2:03:42 AM PST by rawcatslyentist (It is necessary that a person be born of a father who is a citizen; ~Vattel's Law of Nations)
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To: John Semmens

“It’s time that the president tells Americans to get their lazy butts off the couch and mow the lawn or there’ll be no allowance this week.

The allowance is what it keeping them on the couch...It is all they know about earning a living.


21 posted on 11/19/2011 3:50:17 AM PST by chainsaw (Sarah Palin would be my first choice. .)
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To: John Semmens

Excellent article, John. I LOVE when you post!


22 posted on 11/19/2011 5:24:11 AM PST by momtothree
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To: TChad; John Semmens
Great to see you posting again. I hope this thread is not closed, as some of your other recent threads have been. You have many fans on FR.

Bump to that!

I'd say more but I'm too lazy! Bwahahahahaha!

23 posted on 11/19/2011 6:22:01 AM PST by CAluvdubya (Herman Cain Can!)
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To: John Semmens
Great to see another of your fine threads!

Next step will be for the pResident to declare that to combat widespread laziness, the federal government will begin a program of amphetamine distribution, to raise the "national energy level". Speed will be be available at government approved centers for anyone who feels their personal economy could use a "boost".

It's a great deal -- and the first bag is free.

24 posted on 11/19/2011 7:45:02 AM PST by dayglored (Listen, strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government!)
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To: John Semmens

Glad to see you’re still at it.....!


25 posted on 11/19/2011 7:48:55 AM PST by ErnBatavia (Obama Voters: Jose Baez wants YOU for his next jury pool.......)
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To: doc1019

If I recall, didn’t Carter say something like this?


26 posted on 11/19/2011 7:54:10 AM PST by Forward the Light Brigade (Into the Jaws of H*ll)
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To: John Semmens

Thank you for not giving up.


27 posted on 11/19/2011 7:55:54 AM PST by Grunthor (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0heL2Czeraw)
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To: John Semmens
Obama's position:

If the fifty percent of Americans who are productive would work twice as hard, the other unproductive fifty percent could live twice as good.

28 posted on 11/19/2011 7:58:15 AM PST by CharacterCounts (November 4, 2008 - the day America drank the Kool-Aid)
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To: John Semmens

Brilliant, just brilliant. Humor is the only thing that will get us thru the next year.

Always look forward to your threads.


29 posted on 11/19/2011 8:24:37 AM PST by EDINVA
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To: John Semmens

Bravo! Well done!


30 posted on 11/19/2011 8:48:52 AM PST by ButThreeLeftsDo (Help End FREEPATHONS.)
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To: John Semmens

Thanks John. Good to see another edition of Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative!


31 posted on 11/19/2011 9:26:42 AM PST by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: John Semmens

One of the Left’s major weapons used prolifically against us is cynical humor, condescension, as well mockery.

It is well known that humor is, and the Left proves it all too often a weapon in the ideological wars between the Left, and the Right.

Your talent IMO in the field of mockery, of satire be it humorous, or of serious, and penetrating purpose are needed more today than ever before John. We (Mrs. RQSR, and myself) applaud your efforts, and hope to see many more such excellent pieces penned at your hand in the future.

Thanks for the ping, and please keep up the excellent work.


32 posted on 11/19/2011 9:38:06 AM PST by rockinqsranch (Dems, Libs, Socialists, call 'em what you will, they ALL have fairies livin' in their trees.)
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To: John Semmens

LOL very good one


33 posted on 11/19/2011 1:25:34 PM PST by markman46 (engage brain before using keyboard!!!)
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To: TChad

I second Chad’s remark, why the mods or powers that be all of a sudden your stuff wasn’t good is beyond me.

Keep ‘em coming.


34 posted on 11/19/2011 1:35:23 PM PST by snippy_about_it (Looking for our Sam Adams)
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To: John Semmens

34 is for you John, silly me.


35 posted on 11/19/2011 1:36:36 PM PST by snippy_about_it (Looking for our Sam Adams)
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To: John Semmens

Great contribution, as usual.


36 posted on 11/19/2011 2:04:04 PM PST by KC Burke
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To: John Semmens; sickoflibs
“Consumers won’t spend. Businesses won’t invest. This is despite a massive increase in the money supply from the Fed that has made borrowing very inexpensive. The private sector is just not doing its part.”

Here is a real-life article that repeats the preposterous MSM argument (from Pelosi etc.) that government spending "drives the economy." The name of the article is Deep Spending Cuts Pose A New Threat To US Economy Unemployment benefits provide about $300 a week. Most of that money quickly and directly boosts consumer spending, which drives the economy.

Sickoflibs explained this argument's "justification:" The rich have money they don't need, so we will find a good use for it for it NOW!

The president indicated that “some of my advisors are urging me to take sterner measures. They say that the problem lies in relying upon voluntary compliance with the government’s incentives and encouragement. They counsel more direct instructions, narrower tolerances for deviations, and stiffer penalties for disobedience. I hope it won’t have to come to that, but I can (Typo, should be "can't") wait too much longer for results.”

Good writers like you make us mentally conjure up a believable Obama saying those words. Convincing and funny, but also

37 posted on 11/19/2011 2:13:07 PM PST by ding_dong_daddy_from_dumas (Budget sins can be fixed. Amnesty is irreversible.)
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To: John Semmens

Nicely done!


38 posted on 11/19/2011 2:48:42 PM PST by WayneS (Comments now include 25 percent more sarcasm for no additional charge...)
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To: John Semmens

He’s looking for the culprit on the same golf course that OJ is looking for the killer.


39 posted on 11/19/2011 3:17:15 PM PST by dynachrome ("Our forefathers didn't bury their guns. They buried those that tried to take them.")
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To: John Semmens

Nicely done!
Though, if ObamaCare is upheld the line about “voluntary compliance” is one which could well change into “the government will now mandate the purchase of [INSERT GOOD/SERVICE].”


40 posted on 11/19/2011 3:57:22 PM PST by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: rockinqsranch
It is well known that humor is, and the Left proves it all too often a weapon in the ideological wars between the Left, and the Right.

Yes! The Steven Cobert Report and John Stewartstinklestein use it every night. Back-to-back, if I'm not mistaken. The Right has to do a better job of attacking the Left in humorous ways because for many, the 'funny bone' is connected to the 'cool bone', which is connected to the 'vote bone'. Ann Coulter and Dennis Miller come to mind. Sadly, it may never become mainstream due to a certain media 'bias'.

You could have Barney the purple liberal dinosaur taking candy from kids that have too much and give it to kids who already get free candy while the kids all kick his spongy dumbass for being stupid. And move up from there.

You could do a parody of the Jefferson's "Moving on Up" with a black family "Moving on Down", along with most of the middle class as a result of ObamaCare, deficits, unemployment, education inflation, etc. Dave Chapell comes to mind. Maybe an episode where the main character gets a job at a solar company- like Solyndra.

How about a Sleeping-baggers vs. the Tea Baggers? OWS never had it so bad.

41 posted on 11/19/2011 5:30:52 PM PST by budwiesest (It's that girl from Alaska, again.)
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To: ding_dong_daddy_from_dumas; John Semmens; stephenjohnbanker; DoughtyOne; rabscuttle385; mkjessup; ..
RE:”Sickoflibs explained this argument's “justification:” The rich have money they don't need, so we will find a good use for it for it NOW!

The Democrats wrap their pseudo moral arguments with contrived economic arguments. Those economic arguments go ‘Handing out other’s peoples money stimulates jobs’ and ‘socialized medicine costs less than privatized medicine'.

But the (real) liberal moral argument is simple :”The rich have money that others need more than them”

42 posted on 11/19/2011 6:46:31 PM PST by sickoflibs (Cain :"My parents didn't raise me to beg the government for other peoples money")
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To: sickoflibs

We see what has played out since the advent of writing used to witness human development. We have the have and the have not. Over achievers, achievers, below achievers, none achievers. Simple description for what human history has never deviated from. Nothing in God’s creation really changes.


43 posted on 11/19/2011 9:38:03 PM PST by Marine_Uncle (Honor must be earned.)
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To: John Semmens
...They counsel more direct instructions, narrower tolerances for deviations, and stiffer penalties for disobedience. I hope it won’t have to come to that, but I can't wait too much longer for results.”

Semmens (semi-satirically) channels Obama channeling Chavez.

.

44 posted on 11/19/2011 10:04:58 PM PST by Seaplaner (Never give in. Never give in. Never...except to convictions of honour and good sense. W. Churchill)
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To: John Semmens

Great post - as always.

Thanks for the ping.


45 posted on 11/21/2011 3:10:15 AM PST by PeteB570 ( Islam is the sea in which the Terrorist Shark swims. The deeper the sea the larger the shark.)
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