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Keyword: jokes

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  • ABC Links Dan Quayle’s ‘Potatoe’ to His Son: ‘Dust off the Jokes and Hold on to Your Potatoes’

    08/16/2010 3:51:01 PM PDT · by Nachum · 53 replies
    NewsBusters ^ | 8/16/10 | Brad Wilmouth
    Saturday’s Good Morning America on ABC devoted a full report to former Vice President Dan Quayle’s son Ben’s run for Congress in Arizona, focusing primarily on perceived gaffes by both him and his father. As anchor John Berman set up the report, he gave the impression that he views the former Vice President primarily as a joke: "It's time to dust off the jokes and hold on to your potatoes. Who can forget the vice presidency of Dan Quayle? His mortal feud with TV's Murphy Brown. His battles with the dictionary. Well, now, one of his children wants to follow...
  • Reaganite's Sunday Funnies

    07/11/2010 3:12:06 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 8 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | July 10, 2010 | Reaganite Republican
    Just linking here to the best conservative humor of the week, compiled each Sunday... As the hollow fraud of Obamamania implodes, the editorial cartoonists are having a FIELD DAY... at least somebody has found a growth industry in the grim Obammunist era:
  • The Web's Worst Lawyer Commercials

    07/09/2010 8:05:06 AM PDT · by KeyLargo · 7 replies
    You're flipping channels late at night and come across what can only be a preview for the latest Public Access show. Turns out it's an ad for an overeager lawyer hoping to separate themselves from the (wolf) pack. A friendly tip from the Urlesque staff: don't try so hard. We've compiled the Web's worst lawyer commercials to show you that just because you went to law school (presumably via e-mail), doesn't mean you can't call someone an "illiterate boob" on television.
  • From Playboy to The Daily Show (Olivia Munn: I Scored 'Daily Show' Gig With Holocaust Joke)

    06/08/2010 9:04:57 PM PDT · by nickcarraway · 14 replies · 506+ views
    nternet star Olivia Munn has joined The Daily Show, not previously known for its hot women of color. Denise Martin talks to her about OCD and joking about the Holocaust with Jon Stewart. Maybe it says something about The Daily Show producers that they didn’t already know who Olivia Munn was before asking her to join their team of fake news correspondents. Because if you’re a guy—as all but two of the Daily Show writers are—and you’re online, chances are you’ve stumbled across pictures of Munn on the covers of Playboy and Maxim. You’ve probably seen the videos of her...
  • “Plug the damn hole” jokes

    05/26/2010 2:59:22 PM PDT · by Big Bureaucracy · 15 replies · 594+ views
    Big Bureaucracy ^ | May 26th, 2010 | Ellie Velinska
    ‘Plug that damn hole’ is not an advertising for the new iTampons but an alleged quote by President Obama commenting on the BP oil spill. However, the right wing bloggers are probably taking the phrase out of context. May be the President was reading the title of the porn video that the federal oil regulators were watching while vacationing on the dime of the companies that they were supposed to be regulating. May be he was referring to the doughnut hole that the oppressive imperialistic capitalists created so they can make you pay for air. May be he was giving...
  • Obama notes things hard to find, keep: 'love and a birth certificate'

    05/01/2010 8:25:17 PM PDT · by Syncro · 54 replies · 2,882+ views
    The Hill ^ | May 1, 2010 | Bridget Johnson and Kevin Bogardus
    Obama notes things hard to find, keep: 'love and a birth certificate' By Bridget Johnson and Kevin Bogardus - 05/01/10 10:41 PM ET President Barack Obama took shots at his poll drops, birthers, death panels, and Arizona's new immigration law on Saturday night. Obama opened for comedian Jay Leno at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, noting that Leno was the "only person whose ratings fell more than mine. "I'm also glad I'm speaking first, because we've all seen what happens when someone takes the time slot after Leno," Obama said in reference to the Conan O'Brien "Tonight Show" fiasco....
  • Katrina Jokes – Revisited after the BP oil spill

    04/30/2010 2:56:14 PM PDT · by Big Bureaucracy · 20 replies · 2,514+ views
    Big Bureaucracy ^ | April 30th, 2010 | Ellie Velinska
    The late night jokes about President Bush are part of the history of the nation that was seeking comfort and somebody to blame after Katrina. Let’s take a trip back in time and check if the same jokes can give us comic relief today when Louisiana is facing new environmental disaster. "Finally today convoys of troops and aid started to arrive along the Gulf Coast. Five days after the hurricane hit. Kind of makes you miss the innocent days when Bush only sat on his ass for seven minutes. It only took him four days to make a plan,...
  • A Conservative Voted Democrat Because...

    04/29/2010 11:43:44 AM PDT · by scottfactor · 5 replies · 579+ views
    scottfactor.com ^ | 04/17/2010 | Scott Factor
    I voted Democrat because…... I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my horse. I voted Democrat because… I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't. I voted Democrat because… I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would. I voted Democrat because… Freedom of speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it. I voted Democrat because… When we pull out of...
  • Iceland volcano jokes cover the net.

    04/19/2010 7:39:52 AM PDT · by Big Bureaucracy · 12 replies · 2,862+ views
    Big Bureaucracy ^ | April 19th, 2010 | Ellie Velinska
    Iceland to Europe: Do you lava me like I lava you?The last wish of the Icelandic economy was to have its ashes scattered over Europe. UK is grounded and this time it is not by Obama.Hiring volcanologists! Call UBL. Eyjafjallajokull is erupting only twice a year: April through September and October through March.Gordon Brown asked for cash, but there is no C in the Icelandic alphabet. My house is covered with dust with a stench of sulfur. Do you live in Iceland? Nope… still married. Redundant aircraft was spotted miraculously flying over the North Pole. Santa? Nope… the Russian Aeroflot...
  • Jokes about Obama and Pelosi

    03/18/2010 6:09:53 AM PDT · by Gopher Broke · 14 replies · 1,878+ views
    The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree - and think 25 to life would be appropriate. Jay Leno America needs Obama-Care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask. Jay Leno Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it. Conan O'Brian Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund raiser. Jay Leno Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary? A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society....
  • Post a joke thread

    02/19/2010 1:39:51 AM PST · by Sarah-bot · 78 replies · 1,346+ views
    Me | Today | Self
    People should post their favorite joke on a thread.
  • Roger Ebert Makes Fat Jokes After Limbaugh's Hospital Visit

    01/04/2010 4:39:06 PM PST · by Nachum · 36 replies · 1,883+ views
    Newsbusters ^ | 1/4/10 | Lachlan Markay
    In a demonstration of Hollywood's quintessentially intolerant hatred of conservatives, film critic Roger Ebert took to the Twitterverse on Saturday to mock Rush Limbaugh and his sudden trip to a Hawaii hospital (h/t Big Hollywood headlines). Ebert was hardly alone in rejoicing Limbaugh's hospital visit--and distressed when he was given a clean bill of health.
  • Some Humor To Start Your Day!

    12/19/2009 2:46:55 AM PST · by Wpin · 25 replies · 1,499+ views
    Friend ^ | 12/19/09 | Anon
    Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes? A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes. Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment? A: It stands between him and the First. Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp? A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish. Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama? A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth. Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A: A fund...
  • Let The Tiger Jokes Begin...

    12/03/2009 6:03:15 AM PST · by Road Warrior ‘04 · 54 replies · 2,581+ views
    Self | 12-3-09 | Bushbacker1
    Let 'em begin:
  • Tiger Wood Jokes

    12/04/2009 12:38:12 PM PST · by VA Voter · 27 replies · 3,498+ views
    Various | Unknown
    Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one. What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards. Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
  • Bring your Halloween Jokes....we gotta smile about SOMETHING!

    10/31/2009 12:33:21 PM PDT · by greyfoxx39 · 28 replies · 1,285+ views
    various
    I've been receiving a lot of cute Halloween jokes and wonder if all you FReepers are getting them also.Here are a few that I like: "> "> "> ">
  • Obama Jokes

    10/28/2009 8:07:08 PM PDT · by SeekAndFind · 15 replies · 1,492+ views
    http://content.patriotpost.us/img/legacy/broadcasts/humor/102709.html | 10/29/2009
    Obama Jokes Q: What's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes? A: His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes. Q: Why does Barack Obama oppose the Second Amendment? A: It stands between him and the First. Q: What's the difference between Rahm Emanuel and a carp? A: One is a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other is a fish. Q: What's the difference between Greta Van Susteren and Barack Obama? A: Greta only talks out of one side of her mouth. Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon? A:...
  • Bush jokes as protesters burn his effigy outside downtown Montreal hotel

    10/22/2009 3:42:31 PM PDT · by Nachum · 63 replies · 2,607+ views
    google ^ | 10/22/09 | cp
    MONTREAL — As George W. Bush joked with a business crowd inside a historic hotel ballroom Thursday, hundreds of people outside the room cheered while he was being burned in effigy. Police in riot gear and others on horseback held back a crowd of hundreds, including several people who tossed shoes at the Queen Elizabeth hotel in a demonstration of disdain for the man speaking inside. Two protesters tried forcing their way through the line of shield-and baton-carrying police, were wrestled to the ground, and arrested. Ironically, this anti-war protest took place outside the same hotel where the ultimate anti-war...
  • Obama Jokes

    10/15/2009 10:20:50 AM PDT · by Notoriously Conservative · 4 replies · 869+ views
    Making Fun of Liberals ^ | 10/15/09 | Notoriously Conservative
    "President Obama was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The committee said they gave it gave it to Obama partly for his idealism and commitment to global cooperation, but mostly for calling Kanye West a jackass." -Conan O'Brien --- Q. Why did Jay Leno vote for Barack Obama? A. Because he was running out of George Bush jokes. Q. Why did David Letterman vote for Barack Obama? A. Because he was running out of Jay Leno's George Bush jokes. --- A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job. The...
  • The Pope in Alaska (humor)

    10/13/2009 6:50:00 AM PDT · by markomalley · 5 replies · 873+ views
    genuinegopmom.blogspot.com ^ | 10/13/2009 | Lisa Graas
    The Pope went on vacation for a few days to visit the rugged mountains of Alaska. He was cruising along the campground in the PopeMobile when he heard a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. He found a helpless liberal wearing shorts, sandals, a 'Vote for Obama' hat and a 'Save the Trees' shirt. The man was screaming and struggling frantically, thrashing all about and trying to free himself from the grasp of an 8-foot grizzly bear. As the Pope watched in horror, a group of conservatives, wearing 'Palin 2012' shirts, came racing up. One quickly fired...