Free Republic

Maybe you saw the insane numbers? Eighty-five degrees at seven in the morning, 119 degrees by noon (in June!), planes unable to fly in the heat, tap water coming out hot, pavement so boiling it instantly destroys skin, jokes about “but it’s a dry heat” getting immediately annoying, millions of people wondering, for the umpteenth time, why the hell they live in Phoenix anyway and hey isn’t South India pleasant this time of year?

Here is Jesus H. Christ, walking around modern America, right now. Can you imagine him? Here is, in other words, a dark-skinned, bearded, unkempt Middle Eastern Jew, acting all kinds of suspicious, ranting on street corners and hanging around with prostitutes and fanatics, rejecting money, violence and the ruling class, seen by Muslims as the divine precursor to their prophet as he lures the innocent and the seditious into his lawless cult of pacifism and peace.

He speaks his mind, such as it is. Says whatever he wants. Jumps the rails of the standard narrative, blasphemes right inside the GOP’s own church (Fox News), demeans women and immigrants... This is what his frothing minions love most, yes?... If this were a parallel (and much better) universe, Trump could almost be seen as sort of a dream candidate, the kind of passionate... Alas, we’re nowhere near there. We’re stuck right here. This dream is, of course, more of a nightmare, a loud, vapid, sexist anti-vaxxer/birther egomaniac with about as much personal integrity and humanity as a feral...

Why is it that those who demand tolerance for every sexual perversion and every abomination inspired by a “religion” have an hysterical reaction to firearms? I would bet most individuals hyper-critical of guns have never fired one and wouldn’t wish to if given the chance. Their aversion to even rationally discussing the subject of firearms borders on the pathological. A true standout of the hoplophobe community is sfgate blogger, Mark Morford. Mr. Morford has gun owners all figured out and is eager to share his insights with the rest of the world. I laughed loudly after reading what this smug,...

A left-coast writer named Mark Morford thinks that gas prices falling to $2 a gallon would be the worst thing to happen to America. After all, he says, the wrong people would profit: oil companies (why would oil companies profit from lower gas prices?), auto makers, and internet retailers like Amazon that offer free shipping. If falling gas prices are the worst for America, then the best, Morford goes on to say, would be to raise gas taxes by $6 a gallon and dedicate all of the revenue to (boondoggles) “alternative energy and transport, environmental protections, our busted educational system,...

It appears we have consensus! Not that anyone cares, what with all the Democratic moaning and the Republican leering, liberals across American once again licking their wounds in a sort of dumbfounded, how-could-this-happen disbelief, as Republicans grab gobs of dumb power on waves of nothing but contempt, hostility and a derisive lack of a single fresh idea.

Let’s not get crazy. Let’s not take the NBA’s rather surprising and (cautiously) encouraging smackdown of racist billionaire team owner Donald Sterling – a member, mind you, of the most inbred, powerfully entrenched clubs in history, humans who’ve quite literally gotten away with murder since the dawn of American capitalism (hi, Koch Brothers) as anything other than what it likely is – as rare as an abortion clinic in Texas, as precious as a good book in Idaho.

So much for the idea that the children of public figures are off limits when it comes to criticism... San Francisco Chronicle columnist Mark Morford best known to the world for turning himself into a laughingstock four years ago for his inadvertently hilarious suggestion that Barack Obama is some sort of spiritually attuned Lightworker, has demonstrated in his most recent column that he has no problem with wallowing in the spiritual sewer. Morford does not merely mock the daughters of Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin but seems absolutely obsessed in attempting to make them as much the objects of ridicule...

Woe to you, oh modern card-carrying homophobe. For it can't be easy to be you right now, what with all the terrifying changes taking place, all the dramatic sexual upheavals and flagrant displays of "unnatural" love being hurled like exotic sushi in your plain hamburger face these days. Oh, you poor dear. I see you there, glumly sipping your Starbucks gingerbread latte while Googling Swedish fetish porn in between checking the latest news on NASCAR.com in your lightly stained Dockers and beat-up Nikes, Cartoon Network blaring in the background, tattered copy of Shooters Monthly on the bedside. I see you...

I mean, right? You know? Because gosh Jesus in angry apocalyptic heaven, wouldn't it be just terrible if it were all true? Wouldn't it be horrible if all this stunning, insanely mounting, irrefutable evidence -- death, floods, fires, heat waves, the worst this and the most violent that in 1,000 years -- were some sort of surefire, cumulative sign that we have, if not directly caused, then wildly accelerated and amplified the imminent implosion of this planet? But we didn't! And we haven't! And we aren't! I mean, whew.

Mark Morford’s San Francisco Chronicle column is what a leftist’s diary might look like — if that leftist was a horny 14-year-old with a man-sized crush on Obama and a predilection for verbally abusing conservative women. Hmm. Scratch that. Morford’s column is exactly what a leftist’s diary would look like. You might recognize Morford as the drooling Obama fetishist who proclaimed candidate Obama a “rare kind of attuned being” and a “Lightworker.” Or perhaps you remember his enlightened progressive description of “docile doormat” Laura Bush as “the ideal Republican wife: Prim, sexless, nearly useless, lets the men do the real...

Not all grown men are suave, sexy, progressive George Clooney/Viggo Mortensen/Colin Farrell lookalikes with sharp blue eyes, stubbly outgrowths and abs like World Cup forwards, all hearts of gold, full heads of hair and perfectly sculpted genitalia custom designed to satisfy a small harem, make birds sing and goddesses purr. Not all adult men are strong and dependable, loyal and true, able to make you laugh, sigh, moan, buy you a drink, jump start your Mini in the rain, smell good all over, build a deck, parallel park a tractor-trailer, and feel sufficiently secure in their masculinity and humanity to...

It is the end of the nutball Christian right. Here is your proof. To go - Hey, remember the angry evangelicals? The quivering clan of militant Christoholics who propelled Bush into office and seized the national narrative for a few terrifying moments about five years back, ran deep into the woods with it and rubbed it all over their naughty bits in a frenzy of fear and confusion and lust for all things homophobic and saccharine and spiritually denigrating? Dying. Nearly dead. Gasping their last. Very soon to be a footnote, a caricature, a gag, a punch line, blasted to...

Last year columnist Mark Morford of the San Francisco Chronicle turned himself into a national laughingstock with his comical claim that Barack Obama was some sort of "enlightened being," a messianic Lightworker. Here is an excerpt from Morford's "Lightworker" column that gives you a taste of his worshipful unintentional humor: Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher...

Well, the San Francisco Chronicle's Mark Morford out does himself with sycophantic, hyperbole over his Obammessiah, today, February 27. He so revels in hero worship for The One, it's amazing that the White House doesn't feel compelled to get an order of protection against this creepy columnist. No one in the Old Media is more sold on The One and less credible for his girlish crush than Morford. He is a fount of mush as he wonders if he should be scared of today's problems or suffused with lust in his heart for Obama (if you'll remember the Carterism). It...

Well, the San Francisco Chronicle's Mark Morford out does himself with sycophantic, hyperbole over his Obammessiah, today, February 27. He so revels in hero worship for The One, it's amazing that the White House doesn't feel compelled to get an order of protection against this creepy columnist. No one in the Old Media is more sold on The One and less credible for his girlish crush than Morford. He is a fount of mush as he wonders if he should be scared of today's problems or suffused with lust in his heart for Obama (if you'll remember the Carterism). It...

It appears that Mark Morford, author of the inadvertently hilarious San Francisco Chronicle column about Barack Obama being a "Lightworker," described as a "rare kind of attuned being," is back with yet another column of cultish worship of "The One." You can see where the starry eyed Morford is coming from just from the title of his latest column, "When history spanks: Where were you when that incredible thing happened? How will you respond?" Morford could have just as easily titled his adulatory piece, "The earth moved: I smoked a cigarette afterwards. Was it good for you? It was good...

It appears that Mark Morford, author of the inadvertently hilarious San Francisco Chronicle column about Barack Obama being a "Lightworker," described as a "rare kind of attuned being," is back with yet another column of cultish worship of "The One." You can see where the starry eyed Morford is coming from just from the title of his latest column, "When history spanks: Where were you when that incredible thing happened? How will you respond?" Morford could have just as easily titled his adulatory piece, "The earth moved: I smoked a cigarette afterwards. Was it good for you? It was good...

<p>Mark Morford: Is Obama an enlightened being?</p> <p>Spiritual wise ones say: This sure ain't no ordinary politician. You buying it?</p> <p>I find I'm having this discussion, this weird little debate, more and more, with colleagues, with readers, with liberals and moderates and miserable, deeply depressed Republicans and spiritually amped persons of all shapes and stripes and I'm having it in particular with those who seem confused, angry, unsure, thoroughly nonplussed, as they all ask me the same thing: What the hell's the big deal about Obama?</p>

San Francisco Chronicle columnist Mark Morford has perhaps the kookiest explanation for Barack Obama’s rise that I’ve yet seen. No, it’s not merely his youthful vigor, or handsomeness, or even inspiring rhetoric. It is not fresh ideas or cool charisma or the fact that a black president will be historic and revolutionary in about a thousand different ways. It is something more. Even Bill Clinton, with all his effortless, winking charm, didn’t have what Obama has, which is a sort of powerful luminosity, a unique high-vibration integrity. Dismiss it all you like, but I’ve heard from far too many enormously...