Posted on 05/04/2023 12:55:04 AM PDT by fieldmarshaldj
Hi, guys. Salamander needs our prayers, as she just lost her husband. Any words of comfort or anything positive are kindly solicited on her behalf.
Thanks and God Bless, --D.J.
All right Dear I got Your Post and will be dealing with each item, line by line and get back to You but it’s going to probably be tonight before I get it done so hang in there for Me.
Try to relax if You can. Try getting that CALM APP it’s free to start with. Listen to some of the sounds it has and see if that helps.
< terminator voice > I’ll be back. < /terminator voice >
That's good ! Now You need to get at least 7 copies of each because they will be needed.
So far I’ve not been able to get anyone at social services or SS to answer the phone.
That's not uncommon at the beginning and end of the month. Social Services should be County/State stuff. Social Security is Federal crap and I have been on "Hold" (or what I call "Ignore") with them before. SS should pay a Spousal Death amount, IIRC it's $255.00
<> Tried to get a duplicate driver’s license online because mine melted in the fire but the fact that he’s on vehicle titles shot that down. No idea how to get him off of them.
His name on vehicle titles should have absolutely NO effect on You getting a Replacement/Duplicate Drivers License whatsoever !!! You will need a Death Certificate to get any Vehicle Title changes completed.
Didn’t have money to bury him so the er people suggested science donation and did but then they called and said the living can’t donate the dead, the dead one had to have made arrangements themselves. They told me to contact Rocky Gap veterans cemetery and I did. Sent them photo of his discharge papers. He’s in Baltimore at the Body Board place and I have to call them back Monday to see if he can be a special exception, or if they’ll cremate him or what.
You do know that the VA will help with the disposition of the body and should offer burial services, Honor Guard, IIRC some sort of $$$. I'm going to contact another FReeper about details and get back to You.
Otherwise I have to pay for that and drive a long way to pick him up in a car that was t boned and leaks vital fluids now.
What fluids are leaking ?
I can’t go to an ER because I have NO health insurance now.
Yes You can !!! See below.
He cancelled the payments from his state check that provided protection of any benefits for me after his death back in 2009 or so and didn’t tell me.
I'm not understanding what You are saying here. Please elaborate.
I can’t get medical care until I somehow get Medicaid or whatever.
YES You can !!! They are required by law to treat You. They will have someone from administration come by and verify Your information (name, address, phone #, DOB, age, etc. When they ask for Insurance info tell them "I don't have any right now." Then tell them what happened with Your rightful Benefits getting screwed up. When they ask how much money You can pay right now ? You tell them "I don't have any money right now, please send a bill."THAT IS HOW YOU DO IT !!! The illegal aliens that come across Our border do this all the time, everywhere !!!
No idea how long that’ll take and cannot be racking up any bills as I’m having to pay bills he owes now.
DO NOT PAY ANY BILLS RIGHT NOW EXCEPT: Water, Electric, Gas, Sanitation for the house so you have shelter and basic things for daily life including food, beverage, dog food, and gas for transportation. You keep any money You have IN CASH AND ON YOUR PERSON !! DO NOT PUT ANY MONEY IN THE BANK/CREDIT UNION !!! VERY IMPORTANT !!!
I see you have been talking to an insurance adjuster. Passing on this link in case it’s useful to you:
Praying for you.
My PA is having me search online for every single thing I’ve lost and print out pages of the current values.
Totally supports choosing the crazy high items instead of the cheap ones I could get instead.
Wants me to photograph and submit EVeRYTHING I own, despite it all not being anywhere near the upstairs rooms fire because the soot could “kill it” months down the road, even though it works now.
My beloved Alienware was nowhere near the fire but the soot caused hardware failure errors because it was on the fans were sucking it in though I didn’t see anything in the room.
The adjuster guy who came photographed it in detail to claim it.
Have two other Alienwares that were not on but they’ll get claimed too.
Even cameras in sealed totes claimed.
It did not even occur to me to try and claim all that stuff but he’s emphatic.
EVERYTHING.
Wants to run it to the max.
He is attempting to somehow get me more money than I’m even eligible for, by means i do not understand.
I feel pretty happy with him and his crew.
They have been very supportive, especially since I’m suddenly widowed and without benefits of any kind.
His state check had a specific deduction that paid for my benefits to continue if he died.
He cancelled that without telling me sometime after his triple bypass in 2010.
I read that I would have to have signed a consent form for that to happen and I did not.
He came off that bypass machine a “different person”.
That’s when things went bad between us.
He was like a “walk in” in or something and was not the guy I knew the week before.
He swears I signed that form that cancelled my benefits but no way I would have.
The state probably didn’t check “my signature” so I have my suspicions he did it himself.
There are a lot of autopays that I have to keep up, like the dog’s health insurance, etc.
There is a business account, a general house account, my personal account that he is attached to somehow *but* I created a separate account for the house insurance checks solely under my name and control.
He’s not on that and had no way to access it because I didn’t trust him to not buy motorcycle crap with it during one of his “where am I?” Episodes.
Is that safe to keep?
I don’t even know if the bank will let me walk out with that much cash and it scares me anyway.
$5000 of the dog’s cancer fund was burned because I had it in cash, hidden in a box in the bathroom because he had a habit of “borrowing” my dog money and never paying it back.
So I kept it where he never knew about it and it got seriously singed.
I’d have to buy a fireproof lock box then deposit x amount every time for the necessary autopay stuff when it was due.
The license issue seems to stem from him “forgetting” to renew plate stickers long before the fire.
People have no idea what was going on without my knowledge long before he had the excuse of the fire.
I feel like I’ve woken up in some alternate reality and the life I thought I was leading was all a lie.
Still have no idea how I’ll finish the joint filed tax stuff we to an extension for.
I. Am. Lost.
The fluids are brake and radiator.
All I have asked of him Since the fire was to maintain and check the car but somehow a whole gallon of antifreeze “disappeared” one night.
The week before he brake reservoir was empty.
I feel like I’m losing me mind.
WTH was he trying to do to me??
“He cancelled the payments from his state check that provided protection of any benefits for me after his death back in 2009 or so and didn’t tell me.”
I am confused. Are you talking about life insurance, voluntary supplemental life insurance or the defined benefit pension plan or a supplemental retirement plan?
First, as I understand, and I could be wrong, but for MD state employees, participation in the defined benefit pension plan is not voluntary so he couldn’t “cancel” the payments (deductions) from his state payroll check. And as I understand, he could not remove you as his beneficiary without your express written permission.
You need to get in touch with DPSCS BENEFITS - Human Resources Services Division (link below), explain your situation (clearly and concisely – you don’t need to and should not get into a lot of extraneous details or get emotional), and ask about “if” there are spousal survivor benefits available to you under his defined benefit pension plan, and if so, who is listed as beneficiary, and request a copy of the “spousal consent” form, letting them know that you did not sign one and if your signature is on such a form, you believe it to be fraudulent, and ask where to go from there.
If he also voluntarily participated in the 457 Deferred Compensation Plan or the 401(k) Savings and Investment Plan, I’m not sure as I don’t have access to the plan documents, but he may have been able to stop contributing to them, i.e. stop a payroll deduction. However, whatever he may have contributed to such plans, assuming there is still a balance, I believe the same rules apply to removing a spouse as beneficiary. That would be another question to ask DPSCS BENEFITS.
However, I did find this from the SRPS - The Maryland State Retirement and Pension System but am not sure of this also applies to DPSCS:
“Death Benefit
Generally, our death benefit protection provides financial protection to your designated beneficiary(ies) if your death occurs during active membership. The benefits payable vary depending on the members system.
Survivor protection remains in effect as long as you are on payroll or a Maryland State Retirement and Pension System-approved leave of absence.
For specific information on the death benefit payable under your particular system, please refer to your pamphlet or contact a retirement benefit specialist.”
As to life insurance, I’m mostly familiar with Group Term Life and Supplemental Life Insurance plans in the private sector so am not sure how this applies to MD State employees.
Group Term life in the private sector is almost always paid by the employer. Supplemental Life is typically voluntary and paid via a payroll deduction. At employment termination, the employee is given the opportunity to convert both the company provided and voluntary supplemental life insurance plans and pay the premiums directly.
If no conversion is made and the premiums are not paid, the plan may no longer be effective. But again, another question to ask DPSCS BENEFITS.
The Maryland State Retirement and Pension System
https://sra.maryland.gov/members
DPSCS BENEFITS
https://dpscs.maryland.gov/employment/dpscs_benefits.shtml
RETIREMENT BENEFITS
Employees participate in a contributory defined benefit pension plan. Employees are also eligible to participate in a supplemental retirement plan: the 457 Deferred Compensation Plan or the 401(k) Savings and Investment Plan.
Maryland Department of Public Safety and Correctional Services - Human Resources Services Division
https://dpscs.maryland.gov/agencies/hrsd.shtml
As mabarker1 said, getting a duplicate driver’s license has nothing to do with vehicle titles or vehicle registrations. I maintained an MD driver’s license for several years without owning a vehicle or having a title or registration in my name. It may require a trip to MVA, and they may ask you for documentation of your identity and residence.
Ok Shari,
Let Me digest this information and get back to You later today.
I have Doctors appointments so it may be late tonight.
Hang tight Dearest. We’ll get this figured out.
WOW ! Thank You again for the details. I’m going to absorb them and make sure that Shari understands it as well.
FReeguards
If You are the Sole Owner of the account keep it like it is.
The others:
Are You the Primary account holder ? If so then You should be able to remove him from the account by providing the bank with a Death Certificate.
I would suggest that You keep the MINIMUM amounts in all of the others just to have control of some sort.
Open a new account and transfer the "excess" funds to the new account.
If You are on the account then You can get funds out as You want to. You can withdraw up to $9.999.00 without any crap from the bank. Amounts of $10,000.00 or more will trigger a Form You have to acknowledge and the fedzilla being notified so avoid that. Either put the money in one of the other accounts that You are in Sole ownership or keep the cash in a safe place.
it got seriously singed.
Take the damaged bills to the bank and exchange them for new bills. Tell them about the house fire.
It’s beyond the bank’s ability to replace.
Has to go to DC for forensics.
They’re backlogged and with everything else I haven’t even gotten to that part yet, partly due to the aggravation of finding enough “100% genuine cotton” required to ship it.
Very weird packing instructions they have.
The house fire account is sole, the others are joint and my bank app is easy to move stuff around.
Should I get another other account, too?
I’m sick today from barely eating.
It’s getting harder to force myself to even nibble at anything.
I would suggest opening 1 new account for You and transfer any money to there and leave enough in the accounts for Your Autopay stuff.
You might be able to do that in the App since You have existing accounts. That would mean not traveling to do it.
Just to isolate what money You have from his kid and who ever might try a money grab.
Another house insurance check came in his name.
No idea what to do about that.
:(
The PA is working with my preferred contractor to get me some with the overwhelming cleanup still necessary before he can do anything.
Whatever happened to kids who’d work like a dog for a hundred bucks a day?
Do You know exactly where the leak in the Brake Line is ?
Can You see it from under the hood or is it underneath ?
Also the same questions about the Coolant leak.
Lord have mercy. May his memory be eternal.
File another extension before the current one expires and explain to them why.
I call the new kids Generation U and SE. (Generation Useless and Self Entitled)
Contact Your local Church and see if they know any decent kids that would like to make some money.
Nope.
The engine of a PT Loser had to be designed MC Escher.
:/
Tax man called today and I think he has.
I would mow fields, rake leaves, herd chickens and milk cows for a quarter.
Once sanded and cleaned a huge house full of really tall popcorn plaster ceilings for 10:bucks.
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