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Close Call: The Secret Service Just Caught Him Trying To Pull His Own Head Off?
ClickHole.com ^
| September 15, 2015
| ClickHole.com
Posted on 10/01/2015 12:43:02 AM PDT by wannabegeek
Looks like we narrowly avoided tragedy this morning. According to a White House press release, the Secret Service just discovered President Barack Obama trying to pull his own head off, but they managed to stop him before he succeeded.
Wow. This could have been really bad.
According to the White House, several Secret Service agents walked into the Lincoln Bedroom at approximately 6:45 a.m. and discovered President Obama standing alone in the middle of the room with his hands wrapped around his head and trying with considerable effort to remove it from his body.
The agents who witnessed the scene said that the president seemed very calm, but that he was perspiring and breathing heavily, as if he had been trying to pull his head off for a number of hours. Agents attempted to yank President Obama’s hands away from his head, but he calmly and silently swatted their hands away and continued trying to pull his head off.
Eventually, the Secret Service had to wrestle the president to the ground and pin his arms to his sides in order to avoid a potential disaster. They later issued this statement via their official Twitter account:
How does something like this happen? How can we trust the Secret Service to keep the president safe if they can barely stop him from tugging his own head off? It looks like the Secret Service needs to reevaluate their strategies for protecting the president so that a close call like this one doesn’t happen again.
TOPICS: Humor; Military/Veterans; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: call; close; satire; secret; service
Many will wish and hope it would be true.
To: wannabegeek
Not to worry, they have a couple of spares in the closet.
2
posted on
10/01/2015 12:46:51 AM PDT
by
rawcatslyentist
(Genesis 1:29 And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed,)
To: wannabegeek
Even if it happened, it would only be a minor injury because all his brains are in his ass.
3
posted on
10/01/2015 12:53:47 AM PDT
by
Ronin
(Blackface or bolt-ons, it's the same fraud. - Norm Lenhart)
To: wannabegeek
Now if they could just figure out how to keep him from sticking his head up his ass...
4
posted on
10/01/2015 1:02:16 AM PDT
by
Safrguns
To: wannabegeek
Druggies do crazy things.
5
posted on
10/01/2015 1:03:28 AM PDT
by
Ray76
To: wannabegeek
Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
6
posted on
10/01/2015 2:03:07 AM PDT
by
Raymann
To: wannabegeek
7
posted on
10/01/2015 2:40:17 AM PDT
by
raybbr
(Obamacare needs a deatha panel)
To: wannabegeek
Looks like we narrowly avoided tragedy this morning. According to a White House press release, the Secret Service just discovered President Barack Obama trying to pull his own head off, but they managed to stop him before he succeeded. The story has no hint of anything tragic beyond yet another Obama failure. (1) The loss of Obama would not in any way be a tragedy, and (2) Obama is such a sissy that he couldn't pull the head off a paper doll - we don't have to worry about him personally injuring a person or himself.
8
posted on
10/01/2015 2:48:57 AM PDT
by
Pollster1
("Shall not be infringed" is unambiguous.)
To: wannabegeek
It looks like the Secret Service needs to reevaluate their strategies for protecting the president so that a close call like this one doesnt happen again.Agreed. From now on schedule them for a daily group meeting in a far corner of the facility with coffee and sandwiches brought in.
9
posted on
10/01/2015 2:51:22 AM PDT
by
Smokin' Joe
(How often God must weep at humans' folly. Stand fast. God knows what He is doing.)
To: Pollster1
“...pulling his head off...”
Sounds like they should bring in some of the old Bill Clinton agents to gain insight on how to handle this.
10
posted on
10/01/2015 2:52:27 AM PDT
by
21twelve
(http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/2185147/posts It is happening again.)
To: wannabegeek
I would like to see Obama pull his head out of his butt.
To: wannabegeek
Somehow a scene from THE LAST STARFIGHTER comes to mind.
To: wannabegeek
13
posted on
10/01/2015 5:08:32 AM PDT
by
SC DOC
To: Pollster1
This story isn’t very funny. Reads like a fourteen year old’s version of “The Onion”.
14
posted on
10/01/2015 5:09:33 AM PDT
by
stinkerpot65
(Global warming is a Marxist lie.)
To: wannabegeek
To put on the head of Satan?
15
posted on
10/01/2015 5:10:35 AM PDT
by
Slyfox
(Will no one rid us of this meddlesome president?)
To: Slyfox
He does that a lot, as a demon he can pull his head off and then he grows another one, 7 times worse then the one before.
16
posted on
10/01/2015 5:29:59 AM PDT
by
PoloSec
( Believe the Gospel: how that Christ died for our sins, was buried and rose again)
To: wannabegeek
Hope it never happens.....
Two words....
President Biden.....
To: PoloSec
Well, that means we will have to be 14 times stronger than Obama.
18
posted on
10/01/2015 5:32:29 AM PDT
by
Slyfox
(Will no one rid us of this meddlesome president?)
To: wannabegeek
OMG! Thought this post was only a joke, really! Everyone knows oh, the dark won doesn’t know where his head is actually located. He is certain it’s in his sharply creased trousers.
19
posted on
10/01/2015 6:30:47 AM PDT
by
V K Lee
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