And not just a pool, it's been blessed by Joel himself.
And verily the blessed Vickie herself has cleansed herself in its waters and pronounced it good.
Posted on 08/29/2017 9:37:20 AM PDT by fungoking
Edited on 08/29/2017 10:22:52 AM PDT by Admin Moderator. [history]
HOUSTON, TX—Although Joel Osteen took flak over the weekend for closing up his church to flood victims and all but disappearing during the aftermath of Hurricane Harvey, the megachurch pastor reportedly returned to the city on his luxury yacht “S.S. Blessed” to make amends Tuesday by tossing copies of Your Best Life Now to stranded flood survivors.
Osteen had his on-call yacht captain steer the large vessel through the flooded streets of the city, pulling up to survivors stranded on their roofs and on the roof of their cars as the prosperity gospel preacher smiled, waved, and threw out signed editions of the bestselling positive thinking book.
“Believe and declare you are coming into a shift!” Osteen yelled through a bullhorn, according to reports. “God wants His best for you! Enlarge your vision, develop a healthy self image, and choose to be happy!”
“When you think positive, excellent thoughts, you will be propelled toward greatness!” he called out to one family floating on a raft on a freeway-turned-river, whose earthly possessions had been entirely destroyed the previous day.
Osteen also paused for brief photo ops with several families, the smiling pastor briefly allowing them to board his yacht as his professional photography team got shots of the pastor together with the sobbing, distraught flood victims, though the pastor was careful to not stand too close to the mud-caked refugees.
Sources confirmed that the pastor then had his assistants help the families back into their makeshift lifeboats or tree logs on which they were floating through the city.
The Babylon Bee is Your Trusted Source For Christian News Satire.
Is it ethical for anyone to amass a huge fortune? I think the answer in both cases is really dependent on how that 'fortune' (really blessing from God) is used to glorify Him. And ultimately we answer to Him for how well or not we did.
The whole site is satire.
The line between “satire” and “false witness” may be fine indeed, but this piece is definitely on the wrong side of it.
And not just a pool, it's been blessed by Joel himself.
And verily the blessed Vickie herself has cleansed herself in its waters and pronounced it good.
Satire but so like that scumbag. LOL
Oh he deserves it all right.
As for JO, he's an ear tickler. Luke 17:1-2 applies.
Joel Osteen barely qualifies as a Christian. He’s a com artist. A feel good prosperity preacher (his prosperity first and foremost) who can’t bring himself to denounce gay marriage or abortion.
Haveth Satan corrupted the Chipotle burrito Vickie consumed before service?
Verily it's sulfurous fumes haveth overwhelmedeth me.
While this article is satire- it amazes me how fast the world bared their fangs when someone who preaches- somewhat- the gospel is involved in a bad situation and didn’t jump through liberal hoops fast enough to quell the vicious wailing/demands of the left-
how many people in this storm has bill gates helped? George Soros? The clintons? Madonna? Bruce Springstein? etc etc etc- Why haven’t they rented out large buildins to house the many peopel affected temporarily? Why aren’t they truckign in food and water like Donald Trump did when New Orleans I think it was flooded a few years ago?
I don’t support Joel at all in his heretical teachings, but it is unfair to be piling on him for not opening his church when the megarich in texas didn’t open their buildings either- Joel actually had reasons for not opening- as the flooding was hitting his church as well- yet the anti-Christian MSM hungrily jumped at the first innocuous chance they saw to criticism him without knowign any of the facts first-
MSM- Scum-
Church of the blow-dried saints.
Yes indeed
Olstein is an as* and so are some of his critics.
Money commeth!!!
.....Creflo Dollar
OMG those fools who bought this story. Sooo gullible.
:: I don’t support Joel at all in his heretical teachings, but it is unfair to be piling on him ::
Uhnnnng! If you find him an heretic, why are you concerned about his feelings?
Would you have rebuked Christ for calling the Pharisees “whitewashed tombs” because He hurt their feelings?
To quote Luther, “Preachers of heresy should be driven from the village and pelted with dung!”
Send me $1000 and a son will be cured of alcoholism. Send me $1000 and a daughter will be cured of drug abuse. Use money you set aside for retirement, if necessary.
.....”Pastor” Mike Murdock (paraphrased)
Actual quotes here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGw5Mn4E_iY
Maybe because the article is totally fake? Just a thought.
I thought "Send me a $1000 vow of faith" was Robert Tilton's scam.
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