Posted on 04/22/2018 5:02:56 PM PDT by JockoManning
One of the things I fuss about a lot (especially at Buffer) are words—very simple words, in fact. Should it say “Hi” or “Hey?” Should it be “cheers” or “thanks?” How about “but” or “and?”
There are many occasions when Joel and I sit over one line and change it multiple times, until we feel it really sits right. This is partly to improve our metrics for click rate and others. It is also to simply create the right emotion. The one key question we ask ourselves is:
“How does this make you feel?”
The question might sound very obvious. And yet, it’s a very different question to say for example “Which message do you want to send?” or “What is the content of this announcement?” By always focusing on how it will make someone feel whenever we write even a single line, we immediately improved the amount of responses we got from our users.
Recently we explored how much sleep do we really need to work productively. Let’s do the same with language. We’ll dig in to how our brain works and expose some of the most persuasive words in english:
Bonus tip: Add optimal scheduling to these lessons on language, and watch your social media updates improve immediately!
Our brain while listening to words Recently, a lot of the longstanding paradigms in how our brain processes language were overthrown. New and cutting edge studies that produced quite startling and different results. The one study I found most interesting is UCL’s findings on how we can separate words from intonation. Whenever we listen to words, this is what happens:
“Words are then shunted over to the left temporal lobe [of our brain] for processing, while the melody is channelled to the right side of the brain, a region more stimulated by music.”. . .
“The human brain can really only hold on to four things at a time, so if you go on and on for five or 10 minutes trying to argue a point, the person will only remember a very small part of that.”Instead, 30 seconds is the optimal amount for us to speak at any given time says Newberg:
“Speak briefly, meaning that you speak one or two sentences, maybe 30 seconds worth or so, because that’s really what the human brain can take in.”
. . .
Avoid adverbs in speech and writing
Something I struggle the most with is to stop using adverbs. They are, in fact one of the worst elements of speech and even make a listener or reader lose trust.. . .
The skill of asking questions: “What would you do?”
When I read this, I realized I totally suck at it. Journalist-turned-entrepreneur Evan Ratliff put it like this “all that’s really saved me (so far) from madness is being able to formulate questions that deliver useful answers.”
He points out that any questions that start with “who,” “what,” “where,” “when,” “how,” or “why” are likely to get great responses. To be avoided are “would,” “should,” “is,” “are,” and “do you think,” as they can limit how people respond to you a lot.
. . .
From:
https://blog.bufferapp.com/which-words-matter-the-most-when-we-talk-the-psychology-of-language
18
IS IT POSSIBLE TO COMPLETELY CHANGE YOUR DNA?
Epigenetics etc.
Where does “BOOM!” fit in all this?
HOW YOUR DNA IS AFFECTED BY QUANTUM INTELLIGENCE
16 FEB 2018
Probably doesn't ... unless one's DNA is changed in dramatic ways quickly--particularly without your knowing it.
DNA METHYLATION CHANGES IN AGING CELLS AND TISSUES.
Prof Jean-Pierre Issa--University of Texas MD Anderson Cancer Center
2 FEB 2011
Bookmarked
FALLING FOR THIS MYTH COULD GIVE YOU CANCER
11 APR 2012
. . .Science has shattered the Central Dogma of molecular biology, proving that determinism—the belief that your genes control your health—is false. You actually have a tremendous amount of control over how your genetic traits are expressed, by changing your thoughts and altering your diet and your environment
In 1988, the experiments of John Cairns demonstrated even primitive organisms can evolve “consciously,” as DNA changes in response to its environment. The cell’s “consciousness” lies in its membrane, which contains receptors that pick up various environmental signals. This mechanism controls the “reading” of the genes inside the cell
The work of Dr. Bruce Lipton and other epigenetic researchers shows that the “environmental signals” also include thoughts and emotions—both of which have been shown to directly affect DNA expression
Contrary to the Newtonian belief in your body as a biological machine, epigenetic science reveals that you are an extension of your environment, which includes everything from your thoughts and belief systems, to toxic exposures and exposure to sunlight, exercise, and, of course, everything you choose to put onto and into your body. Epigenetics shatters the idea that you are a victim of your genes, and shows that you have tremendous power to shape and direct your physical health . . .
Cheers.
Thanks.
A lot.
I see I’ve been communicating wrong all my life.
This is so great.
Your tagline might be a fitting epitaph for the tombstone of Herself, the Cold and Joyless.
Even Qx with his raft of psych colleagues doesn't know all that many, all things considered.
And being in the average church group can be maddening for him--with his 3,000+ hours of intense group process work/experience. Even the most basic civility and rules are routinely ignored. And very few groups even discuss the ground rules. Sigh.
“I noticed in more recent TV and Film, the Brits seemed to have dropped the use of “splendid” in favor of “brilliant”.”
Awesome observation!
1. Avoid saying more than 5-7 sentences at one time.
2. If you have spoken 3-5 times in one session, then wait 5-7 minutes before saying something else. If urgent, you can always quietly hand/slide someone a 4 X 6" card with your comment or question on it.
3. Avoid "you make me feel ..." No one has the power to make you feel anything unless you give them that power. If you have, take that power back and choose your own feelings for constructive reasons.
4. Own your needs, wants, requests with "I'd like/ enjoy/ appreciate ..."
5. Also, "When you __________, I feel ________" leaves the other person responsibility for their actions while owning your responsibility for your own feelings.
6. If you have a burning "need" to hold forth on something longer than 3-5 sentences, you can ask the group if they'd care to hear what you have to say. Even then, avoid going on for longer than 7-12 sentences--certainly no more than 5 minutes or so.
7. Being disciplined about such as the above can help one refine one's own thinking and priorities as well as forcing one to communicate more effectively with clearer word choices and priorities that are more condensed and hearable.
8. On average, in a group meeting of 1-2 hours, it's usually wiser to limit one's statements to 3-5 times--at most 5-7 times--particularly unless most of the other members have had their share of air-time.
9. A loving, responsible, group and individual-upbuilding thing to do is to ask those who are shy, reluctant to talk, specific questions that they would be inclined to have an opinion on relative to the topic at hand. Avoid allowing them to totally weasel out. Allow the silence to hang a bit for them to feel the importance of sharing their perspective. They may feel a bit stressed initially but after several group sessions of such, they'll more likely rise to the occasion on their own. Accordingly, their self-respect etc. will increase.
10. It can be vital to disallow anyone to chronically interrupt others in the group. You can hold your hand up in a STOP motion or say "wait __(name)__, {name} wasn't finished. It is VERY disconfirming, insulting, offensive, arrogant to keep interrupting others routinely, consistently.
So in this regard, think about what a negative mental state, especially an acute one, can do to us.
Therapy might well be getting the brain back to a positive mental state, somehow bypassing the trauma.
Qx tended to begin his classes drawing the students out on personal thoughts and feelings about the subject of that week's text chapter--for the first 20 minutes.
The 2nd 20 minute period would likely include whatever parts of the chapter Qx felt needed to be emphasized by his 'mini-lectures' of 3-5 minutes, at most. In between, he might ask a student or 3 what they thought of what he'd just said.
The last 20 min period, he'd likely suggest and ask students to talk about possible applications of what they'd learned about the topic that session.
He used a lot of personal connection and also a lot of humor in his teaching. Students consistently gave him the top evaluation commentaries. They said his class was the only one they looked forward going to; the only one they enjoyed--even the only one they learned anything useful in.
He thinks most teachers could do more or less what he did if they were willing to give up their death grip on traditional lecture approaches.
Do the same conclusions apply?
And Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has been documented in solid research to be THE treatment of choice for chronic depression.
--no side effects.
--Very effective.
--Life-long effectiveness.
--rewires the brain
Trouble is, it takes a skilled therapist, on average, and a lot of disciplined work by the client.
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