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Political Limericks: Make Your Own!
Patriot Paradox

Posted on 07/18/2004 11:10:28 PM PDT by sonsofliberty2000

Yeah, well if they suck that bad make your own!

There once was a man named Kerry
Whose voting record was very scary
He flips and he flops,
while his poll numbers drop
and his positions seem contrary

There once was a Democrat named John
who of waffles he was very fond
over and over he served them up
while for some odd reason his followers ate them up
until they evetually caught on

Part 1: The Fairy

There once was a fairy named Leon
who asked a paticular John
what is your wish
I'll serve up a dish
and John just said bring it on

Part 2: Little John

After the fairy brought it on
here came little John
He was from the south
with a smile on his mouth
but very little else to brag on

Part 3: The Defeat

John and Little John went out
but the votes seemed in drought
They flipped and flopped
but they surely were stopped
by Bush and his whopping he dealt out


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: 2004election; africawatch; bushhaters; comedy; election2004; flipflops; flushthejohns; heinz; humor; jfk; jfkerry; johnfkerry; johnjohn; kerry; kerrycampaign; kerryedwards; kerrywasinvietnam; ketchupandwaffles; ketchupboy; lawsuitabuse; parodies; satire; tortreform; traitor; treason; triallawyers; waffles; wafflesandketchup; whythelongface
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To: MeekOneGOP
LoL!

You just got six months free subscription to "Poet And Don't Knowit Anonymous"

61 posted on 07/19/2004 10:10:06 AM PDT by Happy2BMe (Ronald Reagan to Islamic Terrorism: YOU CAN RUN - BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE!)
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To: 4mycountry

"That's... not... funnnnnnnny!"

Kerry Back To Wrinkles! Looks Worse Than Usual!

62 posted on 07/19/2004 10:11:40 AM PDT by weegee (Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them. ~~Ronald Reagan)
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To: FITZ; Squantos
Or how much john kerry can your john carry?

How about this? Despite all Ter-Ay-Zuh’s wild gushing About Edwards’ and Kerry’s hair-brushing, In the cold light of day All one needs to say Is they’re just two full Johns that need flushing

63 posted on 07/19/2004 10:16:11 AM PDT by Bernard Marx (Is Karl Marx's grave a Communist plot?)
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To: MeekOneGOP

There once was a John from a Nantucket
In 'Rolling Stone' he said, "**** it"
Kerry wanted to be
Seen on youths' M.T.V.
A 'Kerry presidency'? "Tough ****."


64 posted on 07/19/2004 10:25:32 AM PDT by weegee (Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them. ~~Ronald Reagan)
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To: Bernard Marx

(formatting helps keep the rhyme...)

Despite all Ter-Ay-Zuh’s wild gushing
About Edwards’ and Kerry’s hair-brushing,
In the cold light of day
All one needs to say
Is they’re just two full Johns that need flushing

The beat pattern I found online was:

da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM
da da DUM da da DUM da da DUM

Just to use your limerick as an example, here is the same rhyme with just a few minor changes:

Despite all Ter-Ay-Zuh’s wild gushing
About Kerry/Edwards’ hair-brushing,
In the cold light of day,
All that one needs to say,
Is they’re two full Johns that need flushing!


65 posted on 07/19/2004 10:34:51 AM PDT by weegee (Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them. ~~Ronald Reagan)
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To: Happy2BMe
LOL !

66 posted on 07/19/2004 10:39:06 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
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To: weegee
Sorry about formatting: I forgot.

I guess I need to toss that English degree of mine in the circular file -- it didn't even teach me limerick scansion! I'm not too bad at heroic couplets, sonnets and villanelles though.

67 posted on 07/19/2004 10:45:21 AM PDT by Bernard Marx (Is Karl Marx's grave a Communist plot?)
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To: sonsofliberty2000
Isn't Woonsocket a town in the Boston area ?
Braintree is also in the Boston area ?
68 posted on 07/19/2004 10:47:58 AM PDT by ChadGore (Vote Bush. He's Earned It.)
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To: Bernard Marx

Formatting was the bigger thing than the extra 2 beats; like I say, I wanted to post that to this thread anyway.

Thanks for your contribution.


69 posted on 07/19/2004 10:48:08 AM PDT by weegee (Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them. ~~Ronald Reagan)
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To: Bernard Marx

If you look closely at mine, you may find that while there are the right number of syllables, they don't always read as smoothly as a limerick should. To this I say, read it 'stiffly' in a John Kerry voice.

Someone should consider sending some of these to the RNC/GOP to share the laugh.


70 posted on 07/19/2004 10:51:14 AM PDT by weegee (Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them. ~~Ronald Reagan)
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To: sonsofliberty2000

I've got the start of one and a few lines for other verses, but it will take a while to put those together.

There once was a kid from Groton,
Whose parents spoiled him rotten.
Even summered in France
He missed not a chance,
to take whatever they bought him.


71 posted on 07/19/2004 10:53:43 AM PDT by Eva
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To: Eva

I'm going to change that first verse.

There once was a kid from Groton,
Whose parents spoiled him rotten,
Even summered in France,
had every chance,
Yet, look at all that it taught him.

There once was a kid from Groton
Whose parents spoiled him rotten.
A gigilo's life
Then another man's wife,
He took whatever they bought him.


72 posted on 07/19/2004 11:03:32 AM PDT by Eva
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To: Eva; All

There once was a man named Kerry
He dreamed that Chirac said, "Mon cherie!"
French holidays in sun,
No wars on terror won.
Of his dreams, all voters should be wary.









P.S., if you see a better limerick in among my lines, run with it.


73 posted on 07/19/2004 11:11:09 AM PDT by weegee (Government does not solve problems; it subsidizes them. ~~Ronald Reagan)
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To: weegee; Happy2BMe
LOL !

74 posted on 07/19/2004 11:11:47 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
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To: weegee
If you look closely at mine, you may find that while there are the right number of syllables, they don't always read as smoothly as a limerick should.

And if you take a close look at mine you'll find that it *does* read smoothly as a limerick should -- and that's why I added the extra beats. Wow, limerick critics yet!

75 posted on 07/19/2004 11:12:45 AM PDT by Bernard Marx (Is Karl Marx's grave a Communist plot?)
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To: Porterville
I resubmit my poem under a new name-
Two Bloodsucking Pieces of Dog Crap- by me :)

“Follow me,” said the tick to the flea,
“I have plans for a blood feast that you’ve got to see!!”

“How do you mean,” said the flea quite surprised,
“You’ve slander me before with razors and knives.
Is it quite practical for you to invite,
A flea ‘you’ declared was little more than a mite!?!”

“But sir you are a mite,
Many consider me but the same,
Semantics and wordplay
Are the names of the game.
I’ve risen above, the rest of the heap,
But I must have a sidekick to make one last leap!!”

“Fleas, you see, have a certain appeal,
A skill, a zeal,
A triumph of will;
You have the ability to leap way beyond
Hurdles and fences not easily won.
Besides, I’m a tick, lowly and gray
And you are so bouncy, lively and gay!!”

The flea interrupted-in a most pleasant style,
“I have difficulty with matters of fairness in trial.
This ‘leap’ you believe I am capable of,
Would be much less taxing-
With help from the Gov!!”

So the little flea and the tick,
Strolled into the breach,
With power and riches beyond anyone’s reach,
For beside the gold stolen from AMERICANS abound,
Tributaries of wealth lay at their feet on the ground,
For as different as they appeared but to be,
They were both leaches- the tick and the flea.
76 posted on 07/19/2004 11:18:11 AM PDT by Porterville (Your sensitivity offends me you disgusting liberal.)
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To: sonsofliberty2000

John Kerry, in war, played his part,
And not just as Hanoi Jane's sweetheart,
In one Vietnam winter,
He got pricked by a splinter,
That's how he got his purple heart.


77 posted on 07/19/2004 11:19:35 AM PDT by Happygal (Kerry has a chin that could chop cabbage in a glass)
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To: MeekOneGOP; weegee

The-ray-zuh is John's right hand prop,
A botox'd high forehead she'd mop,
'Well,' says she, with a grin,
'I can't handle his chin'.
As he mouthed another Flip-Flop! ;-)


78 posted on 07/19/2004 11:25:02 AM PDT by Happygal (Kerry has a chin that could chop cabbage in a glass)
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To: sonsofliberty2000
There once was a man from Nantucket
..............

the rest was banned in Boston even beyond Whoppi.

79 posted on 07/19/2004 11:30:08 AM PDT by ex-snook (Trade deficits export jobs and the money used to buy America and all we get is a cheap T-shirt.)
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To: Happygal
hehehehe ! :^)

80 posted on 07/19/2004 11:34:03 AM PDT by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP!)
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