Posted on 05/08/2006 9:13:33 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson
UNDETECTABLE
Tune: "Unforgettable"
As sung by Barry "U.S.D.A." Bonds
Undetectable, the cream, the clear
Some injectable, right in my rear
Like a shot of stuff for human growth
Do one cheek, then go and do 'em both
Never before
Have steroids been more
Undetectable in every way
Unconnectible, that's how I'll stay
Look at me, see the incredible
Bulk I've gained but not by edible
Means I gained it from some spreadable goo
Unregrettable, well worth the risk
Record-settable, no asterisk
Chasing Aaron, catching up to Ruth
Couldn't care less if I tell the truth
What matters more
Is home runs galore
Undetectable each time I pee
Random-testable, you won't catch me
As for me, it's incontestable
What this does is so incredible:
Swells my head and shrinks my testicles too
As far as I've heard, no actual sightings or actual accusations have been made about injecting human growth hormones. Bonds' has been accused of using the clear and creams. But, that may be a distinction without a difference. Don't forget that Bond's never failed a drug test as set up by Bud Selig and his board.
I still stand behind my argument that Selig and Baseball management are to blame for not taking a stand, and allowing an atmosphere to develop where an opening was left to find enhancers that weren't covered in standard tests. Now, instead of taking the blame, they're more than happy to throw Bonds to the wolves.
You may have had me on the argument of him being the whipping boy because he's still in the sport, and chasing records, but weakened your argument with the gratuitous reference to the chemists and veterinarians.
"All I ask is "are the names accurate?""
No.
I just can't believe any GM is letting his pitchers pitch to this guy... If I was GM even if it cost a game, I'd have standing orders to walk this walking pharmaceutical factory.
I couldn't agree more.
Well, I was referring to MSM sportswriters not FR posters...but now that you mention it, the emotional overreactions of a number of posters here are way out of proportion to the facts as we know them to date.
To my knowlege he's never been tested by Selig or his board... kind of hard to fail, if your name never comes up in the "random" testing.
I didn't see his response as calling anyone here anything.
Obviously you must not watch any NFL games either, as the ‘roids are far more widespread there.
Ruth was Baseball... He was to Baseball what Jordan was to Basketball... they are timeless.
Ruth, didn't just hit home runs, he owned the game, pitching, batting, fielding.. he was so far above everyone else of his time or any other time across the board.
Bonds may not like to have to hear Ruth's name, because he's a narcicistic arse, but he will NEVER be to baseball what Ruth was. No matter how many balls he hits, he'll never be player enough to shine Ruth's shoes, let alone get out of his shadow.
Haven't you heard about the guy
Known as the Cheater
Shootin' steroids
And then he'll lie -- no Derek Jeter
It seems every day, now
You hear people say, now
Look out for the Cheater
Make way for the muscle-bound clown
Look out for the cheater
He's buildin' himself up
Just to go downtown
One of these days they'll find someone
Who tells all about him
He's gonna break his lyin' heart
Then we'll be without him
And you'll hear thereafter
With derisive laughter-
Tough luck for the Cheater
Too bad for the muscle-bound clown
Tough break for the Cheater
'Used to get built up
Just to go downtown
Cute.
IF I were a pitcher I would intentionally walk him as I would never want my name associated with him in any way.
I beg to differ.....he HAS been tested. Check the records.
Uh... in case you haven't noticed, right field walls are short to this day... I don't think Ruth got any more of a break back then than there is today... Hell Center Field is short anymore.. how many Parks have Dead Center Field at 400' or less? Its easier today to hit one out of the park than it ever has been in history as far as I can tell.
Whether you hate Barry Bonds, like Barry Bonds, or don't really care, that is the MOST ridiculous post on this thread so far.
Do a LITTLE research before running off at the mouth, not only has Barry Bonds pissed in a cup at the start of training camp and at other designated times when all of MLB is tested, he has been subject to random testing and his name has come up for a sample. I understand your passion but if you want to blame someone, blame Bud and Baseball for their screwed up testing and substance abuse policy.
The knives are out because
(1)Bonds is still playing and available to the press
(2)Bonds has a high opinion of himself
(3)Bonds is just plain unlikeable
Every era has had its negatives and positives. After watching Joe Morgan, Mike Schmidt, and Bob Morgan say that if they had to do it all over again and if steroids were available at the time they played...THEY WOULD HAVE TAKEN THEM!
Amazing stuff out there. All of them said it on HBO's recent episode on Bonds on Costas Now.
My jaw dropped...they were all like "yeah...hell yeah...if they were there when we played we would have tried them...who wouldn't want to raise your batting average 30 or 40 points? or hit 10 or 20 more homers a year?"
Bob Gibson* Not Bob Morgan.
It's flabbergasting to say the least that this entire rotation--to say nothing of the bullpen--has struggled so far. When Jason Schmidt and Matt Morris both have ERA's around 5, we cant expect too many W's.
But hey, the Cubs come into town tomorrow, so we've got that going for us. :)
I'd like to see when... Cause, anyone who is watching knows this guy doped.
He was here in Pittsburgh, he was fit but thin... then over 1 season in his 30s suddenly he's a brickhouse and the shape of his skull has changed and he's ripping homers left and right?
Sadly, he's not the only one.. Sosa, McGuire, et al did it too, they really have harmed the game... fortunately my son is still a bit too young to understand it.. and if MLB doesn't get its act cleaned up, I'll make sure his interestes move to something other than Baseball...
I won't let him watch NBA because of the thugs they have and put up with there... I won't let him idolize druggies and cheaters either... MLB better get their act together...
THey need a commish like the one who handled the Black Socks disgrace, instead they have a panty waste who won't do a damned thing about the elephant in the corner.
With a head that big, you would think that just about any A-Ball pitcher should be able to put it in his ear-hole.
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