The Self Esteem Myth

Once upon a time – a time you probably don’t remember if you’re younger than 30 – American schools sought to teach children self-control, personal responsibility, and respect for others, especially adults. Students were corrected when they made mistakes and reprimanded when they slacked off or talked back. Most unfathomable to the current education establishment, teachers assessed students on qualities such as “gets along well with others” – and some children actually flunked. In the eyes of schoolteachers and parents, shaping kids into productive and responsible citizens was more important than protecting their egos.

Then, sometime in the 1970s, schools began to embrace the peculiar notion that kids should never be criticized or feel self-doubt. The “self-esteem” movement was born – and ushered in a generation of kids who think they can do no wrong.

In her new book, “Generation Me: Why Today’s Young Americans Are More Confident, Assertive, Entitled – And More Miserable than Ever Before,” Dr. Jean Twenge documents the spectacular failure of the self-esteem movement, from its birth in the 1970s to the present. Despite enthusiastic predictions to the contrary, raising kids’ self-esteem does not make them more successful or productive. It does, however, train them to always feel good about themselves, even when they do bad things.

Twenge makes clear the difference between self-esteem and self-respect. Self-respect – a value taught to older generations – is achieved gradually, by behaving morally and accomplishing things. Self-esteem is an entitlement. As Twenge explains, “most [self-esteem] programs encourage children to feel good about themselves for no particular reason.”

Is that really such a bad thing? According to Twenge, who spent years researching the subject, the answer is yes. Numerous studies show basically no relationship between high self-esteem and academic achievement, strong work ethic, or harmonious relationships with others.

In fact, Twenge’s research suggests that the self-esteem movement has wreaked havoc on schools. Instead of teaching children to learn from their mistakes, “There has been a movement against ‘criticizing’ children too much…One popular method tells teachers not to correct students’ spelling or grammar, arguing that kids should be ‘independent spellers’ so they can be treated as ‘individuals.’”

Elementary school students spend hours creating “All About Me” projects and reading books titled “Everyone Is Special,” but less time learning basic skills. Unsurprisingly, Twenge notes, “American children scored very highly when asked how good they were at math. Of course, their actual math performance is merely mediocre, with other countries’ youth routinely outranking American children.”

Grade inflation is appallingly high, as schools pass out good grades in order to avoid bruised egos. As Twenge reports, “In 2004, 48 percent of American college freshmen – almost half – reported earning an A average in high school, compared to only 18 percent in 1968, even though SAT scores decreased over the same period.” Students often demand good grades for substandard work, and their parents act as reinforcements: “Teachers described parents who specified that their children were not to be corrected or ‘emotionally upset,’ who argued incessantly about grades, and even one father who…challenged a teacher to a fistfight.”

Of course, children have no motivation to work harder when their schools outlaw competition and celebrate mediocrity. Many schools now refuse to publish the honor roll, since it might hurt the self-esteem of students who didn’t make the grade. According to the touchy-feely pop psychology of the current education establishment, recognizing high achievers is unnecessary and cruel. Twenge offers an example: “11-year-old Kayla was invited to the math class pizza party, even though she managed only a barely passing 71. The pizza parties used to be only for children who made A’s, but in recent years the school has invited every child who simply passed.”

While the self-esteem movement hasn’t made children any smarter, it has made them more self-centered, manipulative, and indulgent. Cheating in schools is on the rise, with 74 percent of high school students admitting to cheating in 2002. The link to the self-esteem movement is clear: if everyone deserves to feel good regardless of how they behave, why should a student feel bad about stealing a copy of the final exam? It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. The self-esteem movement has indeed had enormous effects on children born since the 1970s – and almost none of them are good. The California Task Force to Promote Self-Esteem and Personal and Social Responsibility spent a quarter-billion dollars trying to raise Californians’ self-esteem, only to find that it had no effect on teen pregnancy, juvenile delinquency, drug abuse, or chronic welfare dependency. On the other hand, people with high self-esteem tend to be unwilling to take responsibility for their own failures and bad behavior.

There is one personality trait that is definitely linked to achievement, and that is self-control. Although “discipline” and “obedience” have become dirty words in the education establishment, people with high levels of self-control are the most likely to succeed. They earn higher grades and finish more years of education, and they’re less likely to abuse drugs or have children out of wedlock. As Twenge says, “Self-control predicts all of those things researchers had hoped self-esteem would, but hasn’t.”

This short column cannot do justice to Twenge’s meticulously researched and revealing book. However, it’s a must-read for parents and teachers who hope to unravel the myth of self-esteem.

Ashley Herzog is a junior at Ohio University, studying journalism, and lives in Avon Lake, Ohio.

MarDay wrote: “These (esteem/positive self image) can’t be given, they must be developed.”

What would happen if you trained a dog by giving it a doggie treat no matter what it did? Bite the postman? Give it a treat. Pee on the carpet? Give it a treat. What kind of dog would it grow up to be?

I’m not implying children are dogs, of course, but there are similarities in how they both develop. Reinforce bad behavior by rewarding it, and you’ll only get more bad behavior.

From what I can glean from my childrens’ papers, the message is “everyone is unique, everyone is special.” Which is true - and not a bad message for children.

Yes, except that the way the message is delivered completely undermines it.

I mean, what sense does it make to tell a kid "You're unique, just like every other kid!"...?

Self-esteem and ego go hand in hand. i m a publik scewl teechur, and I constantly witness these issues. My scholars classes are prime examples of this. Because the students have the title of “scholars”, they think that they will automatically “earn” an A. Many former teachers have given them A’s just to get our Gifted and Talented Coordinator off their backs. I refused and made them work, caught hell from the G and T Coordinator, and only had three A’s last year. This is not because I am a bad teacher with ego issues of my own, it is because I refuse to lower my standards. This freshman “scholars” class had students who would not capitalize “I” or the first words in sentences. Why? “All the other teachers let us as long as the answer is right!”

Hey, don’t forget that there are some of us out there actually trying to make a difference. When I teach The Crucible I also teach about the Venona Project. My favorite activity for equating FDR’s alphabet programs to Communism and today’s social programs is by giving a very large assignment and telling the students that regardless of the quality they will all receive C’s. I hate my union, but in Ohio I must belong to it. I defer about 23% of my income for my retirement, and that is NOT including my pension. Most importantly, my favorite thing to do in the teachers lounge is refer to Hillary as Canckles and Pumpkin Thighs.

“I mean, what sense does it make to tell a kid “You’re unique, just like every other kid!”...?”

LOL!
And yet, it’s true isn’t it?

The example I usually see given is the example if snowflakes.
So...EVERY snowflake is “unique” just like every other snowflake, but every snowflake has its own design.

I am not defending this, because I have a low opinion of scholars classes (see my other posts). However, if the classes truly are advanced and the students are doing more advanced work they should get the weighted grade. This allows the more advanced students to become valedictorian. Otherwise, some low-level student taking underwater basket weaving will get this honor. It has happened many times in my school.

What’s wrong is the ego-stroking grade inflation of the low-performing students. Since we can’t have anyone fail, the F student now gets a D, C, B (or whatever) and the liberal mind, knowing that this cuts into the true-achievers’ status must now elevate his grade to something akin to ‘A++’.
We have done away with all rational standards and entered the delusional state of Lake Wobegon—where all the men are strong, all the women are good-looking and all the children are above average...or are all the women strong and the men good-looking???...or wait, it’s the children are smart, the women are strong and good-looking and the men are gone. That’s it.

They examined self-esteem in serial killers, hit men, gang leaders, violent criminals, spouse abusers, and bullies. They thought they would find that people "drifted" into these behaviors because of low self-esteem--but the opposite was found. The low-lifes they studied had enormously high self-esteem, creating a sense of grandiosity, supremacy, invulnerability, and the belief that they should not be corrected.

Now THAT makes sense. I'm sitting here thinking of every person I've ever known or come across who has preyed on other people - either by stealing from them or physically harming them. Every single one of them held themselves in higher esteem than the people they were hurting. In certain cases, they may have had low esteem around other people in other situations. But they definitely considered themselves better, smarter, stronger, and more entitled to things than the people they hurt.

From an article posted by Jaded: "There is no evidence that high self-esteem reliably causes anything."

I like to point out that many liberal failures are due to their confusion regarding "cause" and "effect".

Valuable "self-esteem" is the effect of accomplishment and, as such, reinforces the behavior of accomplishing.

Schools should be concentrating on having every student accomplish something valuable, not on directly instilling "self-esteem" regardless of accomplishment. Such false "self-esteem" is not only worthless, it is counter-productive.

Liberals exhibit similar confusion regarding "wealth". True wealth involves the ability to gather rewards by competitively contributing to society's needs and adopting a life-style which is consistent with that ability.

Liberals believe that "wealth" is money. So they tax people and give money away to people who are not wealthy, attempting to bring wealth to them. It's an abject failure wherever tried. The War on Poverty isn't even mentioned anymore. It was lost long ago, but the taxes and re-distribution of money continues.

Gun control is another area where liberals fail miserably to detect the difference between "cause" and "effect".

Only recently have there been reported studies showing that NO gun control law can be demonstrated to decrease crime, which is the claimed "effect" desired by the liberals. Instead, liberals continue to enforce needless burdens on the law-abiding, making the lawful ownership and use of firearms more difficult.

Actually a lot of the Anglicans who believe(d) in God aren’t Anglicans any more: myself, my current parish priest (the senior priest of the Antiochian Archdiocese—he got out early, seeing the writing on the wall when PECUSA wouldn’t depose Bishop Pike for heresy when he denied the Holy Trinity—the founding priest of our little mission and its mother parish, now the Provost of St. Vladimir’s seminary, . . . Indeed our Bishop, Bp. BASIL (Essy) of Wichita and Mid-America, once scandalized the Anglicans by thanking Nashotah House for sending him so many fine priests (at the time, I think about 2/3 of the priests of what has become the Diocese of Wichita and Mid-America were converts, and a majority of those from Anglicanism).

The Antiochian Archdiocese has even authorized a Divine Liturgy based on the BCP—the Divine Litgurgy of St. Tikhon, so named because it contains the corrections to the BCP Eucharistic order that the Holy Synod of Moscow proposed would be necessary if the BCP order were ever to be used in Orthodox worship. The question was posed at a time when reunion was the thought in mind, but the Holy Synod’s work turned out to be useful at a later time for a different purpose.

Fascinating! I was thinking of the Anglican churches in Africa and Asia. It seems that in the fairly near future, these bodies and their missions in Europe and America will be detached from the historic center of Anglicanism, while preserving much of what is positive about that tradition.

Although I’m sure there are significant differences, this reminded me of the situation of Orthodox churches in Africa and India, which maintain very old and distinctive traditions.

The over paid socialists squatting behind a desk at the front of classrooms in the schools near you know full well the curriculum they teach results in annual advancement of unqualified students.
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Marxists! This is the word that fits.

Our government schools are run by Marxists and their useful idiots ( those who call themselves “liberals”)

Our government schools are the biggest threat to our nation than any other single issue ! We can survive Islamofascism. We can survive a oil crisis. We have proven that we can survive a Depression.

We can NOT survive the Marxism that is being preached day after day to the next generation of voters.

Solution: All those who love our nation and its experiment in self rule should remove their children from government schools. They should then organize with other parents to elect representatives who will close government schools DOWN! Then we should turn our attention to our colleges and universities and reform these cesspools of Marxism as well.

Genuine self-esteem creates humility - a realization that while your life has great worth, so does everyone else's.

One of the great lessons of Christianity

And you don't have to be a gang member or crime boss to feel that way - we see it right here on FR, among nominal "Christians" when they discuss Muslims and the relative merits of nuking Mecca.

Does your hatred of religion infect every discussion you take part in? It's off topic here and adds nothing to the discussion. Please give it a rest. This is a discussion about education.

From what I can glean from my childrens’ papers, the message is “everyone is unique, everyone is special.” Which is true - and not a bad message for children.

A very wise 10 year old of my acquaintance recognized the fallacy of that the other day. He said "If everyone is special, then no one is special"

Of course when I was growing up the only "special" kids in school rode the short buses.

“There has been a movement against ‘criticizing’ children too much…One popular method tells teachers not to correct students’ spelling or grammar, arguing that kids should be ‘independent spellers’ so they can be treated as ‘individuals.’”

A while back, when my brother was in grade school we had this nonsense. They called it “magic spelling”. Also, there were many homework projects that involved the entire family. One night, his math homework had questions in it like, “How did you feel about that concept?” He was supposed to be doing math, not talking about how math makes him feel!

There were many expensive and time consuming extra projects. I was so happy my children didn’t have to do this. Grades in our district got so low, that the state took over and forced them to really educate the kids, and these ridiculous excuses for education stopped. They had to focus on test results to regain local control of the school district.

I hate all this touchy-feely junk in our schools.
Too much self-esteem makes some people feel like the world owes them everything, and they are better than everyone else, or above the law.

I guess that depends on how you define “special”.

It isn’t false that everyone is “unique”.

As a christian we were always taught that everyone is “special” in God’s eyes.

However, when they refer to “self esteem”, I think it goes hand in hand with “self respect”.
And that is something that is earned.

Everyone knows instinctively whether they have worked their hardest or not. Whether they earned something, or didn’t. Whether they did something good, or something bad.

We were able to recognize when other people excelled at something.

I think this is what is being eaten away by this movement.
When competition is eliminated - when excellence is downplayed and mediocrity is inflated, then the kids get a twisted view of what they’ve really accomplished.

They’ve taken an idea that is partially true, and perverted it into a philosophy that prevents kids from excelling.

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