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DUmmie FUnnies 12-27-09 ("I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | December 27, 2009 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 12/27/2009 7:18:56 PM PST by Charles Henrickson

Homeland Jan sez: "The system worked!"

So in the wake of the terrorists running amok again, there's talk of new rules requiring passengers to stay seated during the last hour of the flight. This could cause some problems, though, for passengers with . . . let's say, a certain pressing need to get up and go. Things are all wee-wee'd up! The ineptitude of Team Incompetent is affecting the incontinent! And the DUmmies are not pleased, as we see in this THREAD, "I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!"

So fasten your seat belt, stow your tray, and put your seat in an upright position, as we encounter some DUmmie turbulence, in Threat Level Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering if he will have to lay off the ginger ale the next time he flies, is in the [brackets]:

I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!

[Yes we can!]

There is no way I can hold my bladder that long. . . .

[Hope and change!]

So what do they expect with this silly rule. Pee my pants?

[Listen, Hillary, Ol' Crusty has been through a lot. I'm sure she can handle that.]

I'll bet it enough people really did pee in their pants this rule would end damn quick. Perhaps an organized "Pee In" is in order here.

[Call the NAAPP.]

I am seriously thinking I need a note from my doctor.

[Six months, minimum, under Obamacare.]

I would also have a problem with the last hour and not being able to pee. Sometimes I have to go every 15 minutes. And being nervous doesn't help. Not to mention having IBS.

[Irritable Bolshevik Syndrome.]

I think maybe something more than a "pee in" is needed here. There should also be a "sh*t in." A whole planeload of people sitting in their own sh*ts smelling the place up.

[DUAC! DUAC!]

All of the things this guy did could have been accomplished mid flight. Just because it happened shortly before landing isn't justification for changing onboard bathroom procedures.

[OK, no bathroom breaks AT ALL, the whole flight!]

Of course it does not stop the neo nazi thugs jumping on the bandwagon of racial profile all Muslims.

[Yeah, just a coincidence that 100% of these terrorist airplane guys are Muslims, I guess. We really need to be concerned about the radical Lutherans and their exploding lutefisk.]

Visualize swirled pees!

[You win the Nobel Piss Prize!]

I think this new rule is just for international flights . . .

[On Incontinental Airlines.]

I hope people on planes all sh*t their pants in unison. one two three CRAP. that might change things.

[Crap and Trade . . . Underwear.]

This has nothing to do with President Obama.

[Piss be upon him.]

we're dealing with a bureaucracy that thinks it has to do something after every incident, whether what they do makes any sense or not. The reality is that this man should never have been allowed to board a plane bound for the USA. . . . Barn door closing regulations that don't address that are the feeble hand-waving of some Peter Principled bureaucrat who can't think of anything else to do.

[We'd send you a Kewpie Doll, but new regulations prohibit the shipment of Kewpie-like materials.]

I do believe that Obama has a responsibility to start leaning on DHS to stop oppressing civilians who are just trying to get to Grandma's for the holidays.

[Throw Grandma under the bus and you don't have to worry about it.]

Frankly, President Obama has had a lot on his plate in 2009.

[Don't expect him to have time for national security.]

What's next? Will they make everyone fly naked?

[Be thankful the DUmmies don't fly much.]

As for us.give us the liberty to pee or we chose not to fly.

[DON'T TREAD ON PEE!]

I just hope they use warm KY Jelly on their latex gloves for those body cavity probes. . . .

[Calm down, benburch, calm down!]

what if people go through those body scanners and they've got a bit of constipation and the screen shows something strange in the lower abdominal area (an impacted stool). . . . Forced enemas?

[With wands like these, who needs enemas?]

If enough people leave behind a "puddle", the policy will change back very quickly. Think of it as a form of protest.

[All we are saying . . . is give pee a chance!]

Diapers. . . .

[benburch is in heaven!]

ever hear of depends undergarments...?

[Change we can relieve in.]

wear crappy, comfortable clothes and piss in their seat.

[OK, the DUmmies already DO this. So what NEW do you suggest?]

Whip it out and let it fly in the aisle.

[The system that works!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bho44; bhodhs; dhs; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; flight253; napolitano; tsa
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To: HerrBlucher
Flying sucks, and has since about 1995. It used to be fun, there used to be lots of seats unoccupied, people used to dress well on an airplanes, and the food was sometimes even good. You could also change your ticket around at will without paying exhorbitant prices. The stewardesses were hot and fun to flirt with, and there were no ugly stewards. WTF happened?

Also the seats are now incredibly uncomfortable. The only reason I can give for the horrible service nowadays is that it is a marketing ploy. The airlines probably think that people will HATE flying coach so much that they will be more willing to fly first class.

41 posted on 12/27/2009 8:14:34 PM PST by PJ-Comix (I love ROCK 'N ROLL! I memorized the all WORDS to "WIPE-OUT'' in 1965!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

lol- yes!


42 posted on 12/27/2009 8:15:51 PM PST by Roscoe Karns
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To: HerrBlucher

Police State.


43 posted on 12/27/2009 8:19:52 PM PST by screaminsunshine (!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Gatorade bottles have a wide neck. Just sayin...


44 posted on 12/27/2009 8:19:54 PM PST by Grizzled Bear (Does not play well with others.)
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To: IntolerantOfTreason; Charles Henrickson
The system DID work - the passengers kicked that guy’s ass. What’s the problem?

The terrorist son of a whore brought a bomb on board a plane and nearly detonated. Is this YOUR definition of the system working?

The system failed. Fortunately, so did the bomb. Had it detonated as intended, the passengers would not have had the opportunity to kick the guy's ass.

45 posted on 12/27/2009 8:23:11 PM PST by Grizzled Bear (Does not play well with others.)
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To: Roscoe Karns
LOL !!!

You always get a laugh outta me.

46 posted on 12/27/2009 8:27:18 PM PST by investigateworld (Abortion stops a beating heart)
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To: Charles Henrickson

You go ahead and all crap your pants for the last hour of the flight. You can live with the smell for that hour and the hour you wait on the tarmac waiting for a gate plus the hout of TSA searching the plane.

Have fun.


47 posted on 12/27/2009 8:37:54 PM PST by GeronL (This is a tagline)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“Whip it out and let it fly in the aisle.”

Cool it, Ben Burch.


48 posted on 12/27/2009 8:38:30 PM PST by Jacob Kell
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To: HerrBlucher

You mean 1970?


49 posted on 12/27/2009 8:41:59 PM PST by GeronL (This is a tagline)
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To: Army Air Corps

I have given this much thought as I am to travel soon. Since I am not allowed to take any liquids on board a flight, I will instead take an empty can to urinate in and drop it off at the security screener when I deplane. This keeps the seats clean for the next passenger, relieves me of any “pressure” that builds up since I am NOT allowed to take care of my business anywhere but in my seat and gives Janet Napolitano a reason to continue her ignorance.


50 posted on 12/27/2009 8:42:32 PM PST by Semperfiwife (I, my children and my grandchildren are NOT Obama's ATM!!!!)
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To: Jet Jaguar

Depends.

FOTFLOL You are so bad......


51 posted on 12/27/2009 8:56:35 PM PST by notpoliticallycorewrecked (According to the MSM, I'm a fringe sitting, pajama wearing Freeper)
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To: Semperfiwife

That is a plan so cunning that you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel. :-)


52 posted on 12/27/2009 9:00:23 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: GeronL

Maybe the airlines will install relief tubes for each seat...


53 posted on 12/27/2009 9:04:23 PM PST by Army Air Corps (Four fried chickens and a coke)
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To: Charles Henrickson

The nuts are getting restless. Be a shame for FReepers to go over there and stir the pot.

Happy 2010


54 posted on 12/27/2009 9:10:03 PM PST by bray (What ya in for Son? No Health Insurance. Me too.)
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To: Incorrigible

SBT

:)


55 posted on 12/27/2009 9:14:13 PM PST by MindBender26 (Obama is what you get when you let the O.J. jury selects a president !)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I just hope they use warm KY Jelly on their latex gloves for those body cavity probes. . . .

Calm down, benburch, calm down!

Dammit Henrickson, you always steal the benburch-rich quotes before we have a chance!

56 posted on 12/27/2009 9:26:16 PM PST by doorgunner69
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To: Army Air Corps

ugh. I refuse to contemplate


57 posted on 12/27/2009 9:45:48 PM PST by GeronL (This is a tagline)
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To: Army Air Corps
Photobucket
58 posted on 12/27/2009 10:47:47 PM PST by BattleHymn
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To: Charles Henrickson
So what do they expect with this silly rule. Pee my pants?

Oh, I dunno. Depends...

59 posted on 12/28/2009 12:00:55 AM PST by Purrcival (Proud to share my birthday with President Reagan)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I cannot stay in my seat the final hour before a flight lands!

[Yes we can!]

But the system worked according to the security secretary.


I am seriously thinking I need a note from my doctor.

Yeah, that's the ticket.


Of course it does not stop the neo nazi thugs jumping on the bandwagon of racial profile all Muslims.

[Yeah, just a coincidence that 100% of these terrorist airplane guys are Muslims, I guess. . . .

The young muSLIMES are not blowing up the Amish buggies.


This has nothing to do with President Obama.

Well, he is sympathetic to the muSLIMES.


ever hear of depends undergarments...?

How about those astronaut diapers?

60 posted on 12/28/2009 5:27:51 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 (I am tired of being PC. It's time for torches, pitchforks, tar, feathers and GUNS.)
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