Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Mayonnaise Is The Worst Condiment
thefederalist.com ^ | Oct. 2, 2015 | William Kelly III

Posted on 10/03/2015 2:27:03 PM PDT by PROCON


There exists in this world a condiment below all others. It has all of the flavor of sawdust and the sublime texture of soap scum. Until recently, I was unaware that The Federalist, lovers of freedom, etc., was complicit in its spread. I rise today to defend America—nay, the world—against such scurrilous anti-food propaganda.

As all Americans, especially Texans, know, mayonnaise is a tool of oppression used by communists and bland-food lovers everywhere. It is a form of mind control designed to cow you into a sense of complacency about life. Food has flavor, and mayo covers that flavor up. It destroys your ability to taste.

What do you do to a food if it is too intense, and you’re not Texan? You add mayonnaise. In much the same way that salt is used to flavor food, mayonnaise is used to bland it. It is flavor’s anti-particle: it annihilates on contact.

Hello, People: The French Invented Mayonnaise

(Excerpt) Read more at thefederalist.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Food; Humor
KEYWORDS: condiments; mayonnaise
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 341-360361-380381-400401-416 next last
To: MinuteGal
I have my grandmother's recipe for mayonnaise. Mainly it's a basic vinaigrette with a couple of eggs (raw) added and some "secret" condiments in proper proportions. It is the best mayo I've ever had. Beats anything bought off the shelf.

She also taught me how to make gravy the right way & "drop biscuits" too. Goes great with some bacon.

YUM!

361 posted on 10/03/2015 7:17:21 PM PDT by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 202 | View Replies]

To: PROCON

Can’t make chocolate mayonnaise cake without Blue Plate.


362 posted on 10/03/2015 7:20:12 PM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: metmom

Not a problem. It may take a bit of time but I will get it, the best mayo I ever tasted.


363 posted on 10/03/2015 7:21:00 PM PDT by Louis Foxwell (This is a wake up call. Join the Sultan Knish ping list.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 358 | View Replies]

To: Louis Foxwell

OK. I know a lot of people don’t get on well with their ex’s.


364 posted on 10/03/2015 7:27:41 PM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 363 | View Replies]

To: ThomasThomas
Mayonnaise did not exist till after God cursed the earth.

LOL........ AND it was invented by the French!

Apologies to our FRench FReepers...Mon Dieu!

365 posted on 10/03/2015 7:29:06 PM PDT by PROCON (A proud CRUZader.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 360 | View Replies]

To: Mrs.Z

My Greek potato salad has no mayo in it- it is all potatoes, lemon or lime juice, olive oil, salt, pepper and oregano. That’s it, and it is incredibly delicious...


366 posted on 10/03/2015 7:31:58 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: onyx
One more reason we agree so frequently. As a diabetic, I had to give up sugar. As a kidney patient, I had to give up more potassium and phosphorus laden foods than I can recount here.

They will get my mayonnaise and my ketchup (which has potassium) when they pry my cold dead fingers off each!

God bless you and yours!

367 posted on 10/03/2015 7:32:21 PM PDT by BlackElk (Dean of Discipline: Tomas de Torquemada Gentlemen's Society/Rack 'em Danno!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 36 | View Replies]

To: metmom
"If you’re ever in Buffalo, one of those is a must, along with genuine Buffalo chicken wings and pizza."

Mmmmmm! You're taking me back a few years. Beef on weck with horseradish, real buffalo wings. Bocce's pizza on Sunday, amazing Italian sausage.

I just ate dinner and I'm getting hungry. ;-)

368 posted on 10/03/2015 7:32:22 PM PDT by MV=PY (The Magic Question: Who's paying for it?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 334 | View Replies]

To: MPJackal

Miracle Whip is the best thing to put on a burger- accompanied by a little Worchestershire sauce.


369 posted on 10/03/2015 7:33:18 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Popman

Almost????!!!!


370 posted on 10/03/2015 7:34:01 PM PDT by BlackElk (Dean of Discipline: Tomas de Torquemada Gentlemen's Society/Rack 'em Danno!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: BobL

It wasn’t the mayo it was the pasta... pasta will grow more bacteria in a warm environment than most anything else even without any mayo in it. People tend to think it is safe because it’s just wheat but it is deadly.


371 posted on 10/03/2015 7:38:02 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: ETL

Mayo on roast beef is good so long as there is a lot of horseradish in the mayo.


372 posted on 10/03/2015 7:39:24 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 50 | View Replies]

To: ForYourChildren
Correct, murder isn’t in the Constitution, and as such, it is used to be left to the states or people to determine how to handle this.

Murder committed on federal property (or in D.C.) has always been a federal crime and punishable by the feds.

373 posted on 10/03/2015 7:45:21 PM PDT by okie01 (The Mainstream Media: . IGNORANCE ON PARADE)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 348 | View Replies]

To: PROCON

Peter Pan Peanut butter was great ‘til they went back to plastic jars.


374 posted on 10/03/2015 7:52:06 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 146 | View Replies]

To: okie01

“Murder committed on federal property (or in D.C.) has always been a federal crime and punishable by the feds. “

Excellent, lets make sure they keep it there... on federal property (or in D.C.).

Same goes for their definition of mayonnaise, their regulations on CFL bulbs, their regulations on amount of water in toilet bowls, etc. etc., they can enforce it on federal property (or in D.C.) - ONLY!


375 posted on 10/03/2015 7:52:31 PM PDT by ForYourChildren (Christian Education [ RomanRoadsMedia.com - Classical Christian Approach to Homeschool ])
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 373 | View Replies]

To: MinuteGal

Beware of what you ask for you might get a visit!


376 posted on 10/03/2015 7:59:51 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 202 | View Replies]

To: metmom

We are good friends, most of the time.


377 posted on 10/03/2015 8:07:46 PM PDT by Louis Foxwell (This is a wake up call. Join the Sultan Knish ping list.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 364 | View Replies]

To: Louis Foxwell

I would be very interested in the recipe too.


378 posted on 10/03/2015 8:11:23 PM PDT by freds6girlies (many that are first shall be last; and the last shall be first. Mt. 19:30. R.I.P. G & J)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 4 | View Replies]

To: Twinkie

:-O , :-O , :-O , ...


379 posted on 10/03/2015 8:13:59 PM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 349 | View Replies]

To: Secret Agent Man

“One way people could probably avoid it is to make their own out of fresh ingredients and store it properly.”

What I tell my kids is that it’s ok to eat food like that, as long as there is a chain of liability - in other words, if a place like McDonalds has mayo, I don’t get too worried, because I know they understand both the regulations and the risks involved with not following those regs. But with a church outing...I’m much more selective - even people meaning well can make mistakes.


380 posted on 10/03/2015 8:22:47 PM PDT by BobL (REPUBLICANS - Fight for the WHITE VOTE...and you will win (see my 'profile' page))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 78 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 341-360361-380381-400401-416 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson