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~THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD~

Posted on 01/04/2013 5:11:46 AM PST by Lucky9teen



And then I read this....

On January 1, 400 new federal laws took effect. Meanwhile, state legislatures passed 29,000 bills and resolutions, many of which came into force on the first of the year. Local government added thousands of new laws.

Ignorance is no excuse, so start cramming on all the weird new regulations you have to follow as of Tuesday:

1. In California, it's now unlawful to let a dog pursue a bear or bobcat at any time. Previously, exceptions had been made for hunting. Bad news for dogs, good news for bears and bobcats.

2. The new laws aren't just about banning things! Florida law revised the term "motor vehicle" to exclude swamp buggies, deregulating the primary mode of transportation in that state.

3. In an assault on the civil rights of crazy cat ladies, residents of Wellington, Kansas are now limited to no more than four cats per household. The hope is that restricting ownership will lower the town's burgeoning cat population.

4. Fun news: Illinoisans under 21 can drink alcohol now! Less fun: They have to be enrolled in a culinary program to do so.

5. Film producers in California must have permission from a pediatrician before filming a child under the age of one month. Suddenly, Real Infants of Newport Beach looks less likely to be green-lit.

6. In the category of "how the hell wasn't this illegal already," California prison workers will no longer be allowed to have sex with inmates.

7. Sex offenders in Illinois are banned from distributing candy on Halloween or playing Santa or the Easter Bunny.

8. No more "popping wheelies" on motorcycles in Illinois, but they can run a red light if the coast is clear.

9. Don't steal grease in North Carolina. Those who steal more than $1,000 worth of grease can be found guilty of a felony. It's the kind of overcompensation that happens when your state doesn't have mineral or gas deposits.

If all this sounds like things you did on New Year's Eve, I hope you had fun. No more such hijinks in 2013.









TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: government; ofst; silliness; stupidpeople
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To: ArGee
More from "The Incredibles." Bob: Weren't you in the news? Some show in, Prayge... Prague?
Edna: Milan, darling. Milan. Supermodels. Heh! Nothing super about them... spoiled, stupid little stick figures with poofy lips who think only about themselves. Feh! I used to design for *gods*!
101 posted on 01/04/2013 11:56:15 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee
Probably the only stuff from "Life of Brian" worth quoting was from the insurrectionists. Here's my favorite:

Judith: [on Stan's desire to be a mother] Here! I've got an idea: Suppose you agree that he can't actually have babies, not having a womb - which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans' - but that he can have the *right* to have babies.
Francis: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother... sister, sorry.
Reg: What's the *point*?
Francis: What?
Reg: What's the point of fighting for his right to have babies, when he can't have babies?
Francis: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
Reg: It's symbolic of his struggle against reality.

(FWIW: I think we should be using that clip against the LGBQRSTUVWXYZ agenda all the time.)

102 posted on 01/04/2013 11:59:21 AM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee
OK, I have to admit this bit from "Life of Brian" was funny, too, even if I don't understand anything about Latin grammar.

[Brian is writing graffiti on the palace wall. The Centurion catches him in the act]
Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
Brian: It says, "Romans go home. "
Centurion: No it doesn't ! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
Brian: Er, "Romanus" !
Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is?
Brian: Er, er, "Romani" !
Centurion: [Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" !
Brian: Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".
Centurion: So, "eunt" is...?
Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
Centurion: But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use...?
[He twists Brian's ear]
Brian: Aaagh ! The imperative !
Centurion: Which is...?
Brian: Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" !
Centurion: How many Romans?
Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" !
Centurion: [Writes "ite"] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?
Brian: Dative !
[the Centurion holds a sword to his throat]
Brian: Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "Domum" !
Centurion: But "Domus" takes the locative, which is...?
Brian: Er, "Domum" !
Centurion: [Writes "Domum"] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
Centurion: Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.

103 posted on 01/04/2013 12:04:55 PM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

People need to stop blaming violence on my favorite TV shows and movies or I SWEAR I’m gonna kill someone.


104 posted on 01/04/2013 12:08:22 PM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee
Tell me, do you think images like this one on the Internet make us less sensitive to people's pain?


105 posted on 01/04/2013 12:09:49 PM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee
I mean, I'd hate it if we actually became so insensitive we thought these things were funny.


106 posted on 01/04/2013 12:21:19 PM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee
I'm thinking she shouldn't have been driving. But who am I to judge?


107 posted on 01/04/2013 12:26:09 PM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

of course she shouldn’t be driving. she’s not wearing shoes!


108 posted on 01/04/2013 12:30:21 PM PST by absolootezer0 (2x divorced tattooed pierced harley hatin meghan mccain luvin' REAL beer drinkin' smoker ..what?)
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To: absolootezer0
of course she shouldn’t be driving. she’s not wearing shoes!

I didn't think you needed to wear shoes to drive. I just thought you couldn't be in something slippery like socks.

When I lived in Florida I drove barefoot all the time, especially to and from the beach. It didn't seem safe to have those flip-flops on.

That's not silliness, BTW. That's the truf.

109 posted on 01/04/2013 1:26:50 PM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: verga

OMG LOLOLOLOLOL!


110 posted on 01/04/2013 1:32:39 PM PST by DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis
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To: DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis

Ya’. Ya’ gotta be careful ‘bout dat dere OFST, ‘specially readin’ it at der work place. It can make ya’ laugh out loud and get in der trouble. But it is good for what ails ya’.


111 posted on 01/04/2013 1:38:14 PM PST by ArGee (Reality - what a concept.)
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To: ArGee

My favorite one is when Mom is explaining to Dash that everyone is “special in some way,” and he replies, “That’s just another way of saying no one is.”


112 posted on 01/04/2013 3:21:58 PM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Some cultures are destined to remain stupid and we need to quit trying to uplift them.)
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To: ArGee

Posting from my phone’s browser, when I pressed post it didn’t do anything, so I hit it again, and again, and again, then my phone crashed, too much silliness I guess! ;-)


113 posted on 01/04/2013 3:42:59 PM PST by The Chief
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

...and a vegan, a hypocrite, and a liberal.


114 posted on 01/04/2013 3:47:22 PM PST by perfect stranger (Nobama)
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To: ArGee; Lucky9teen; All

Just a reminder for friends and family: At this time of the year, when the roadblocks come up with great regularity, I would like to share a personal experience with my closest friends about drinking and driving.

As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities on our way home from an occasional social session over the years. A couple of nights ago, I was out for an evening with friends and had a couple of cocktails and some rather nice red wine. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I’ve never done before; I took a cab home.

Sure enough, I passed a police road block but, since it was a cab, they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident, which was a real surprise as I have never driven a cab before and am not sure where I got it or what to do with it now that it’s in my garage.....Ho - Ho - Ho!


115 posted on 01/04/2013 5:04:08 PM PST by musicman (Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
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To: fredhead

116 posted on 01/04/2013 5:20:42 PM PST by Lucky9teen (Peace is that brief glorious moment in history when everybody stands around reloading.~Thomas Jeffer)
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To: ArGee

Written like a true liberal :)


117 posted on 01/05/2013 10:09:00 AM PST by Nailbiter
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To: ArGee

I don’t know about other states, it is illegal in mi to drive barefoot, or in any shoes without a back.


118 posted on 01/05/2013 2:56:46 PM PST by absolootezer0 (2x divorced tattooed pierced harley hatin meghan mccain luvin' REAL beer drinkin' smoker ..what?)
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To: verga

bump


119 posted on 01/06/2013 8:36:22 PM PST by Octar
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