In Obama's world - our military's top priority is to fight the weather.
Posted on 05/22/2015 5:42:22 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
In Obama's world - our military's top priority is to fight the weather.
PRESIDENT OBAMA: Climate change is one of those most severe threats. This is not just a problem for countries on the coasts or for certain regions of the world. Climate change will impact every country on the planet. No nation is immune. So I am here today to say that climate change constitutes a serious threat to global security, an immediate risk to our national security. And make no mistake, it will impact how our military defends our country. So we need to act and we need to act now.
After all, isn’t that the true hallmark of leadership? When you’re on deck, standing your watch, you stay vigilant, you plan for every contingency. If you see storm clouds gathering or dangerous shoals ahead you don’t just sit back and do nothing. You take action to protect your ship, to keep your crew safe. Anything less is negligence. It is a dereliction of duty. So to with climate change. Denying it or refusing to deal with it endangers our national security. It undermines the readiness of our forces.
COSTELLO: Hey, Abbott, I don’t understand the unemployment rate. Tell me about it.
ABBOTT: Good subject. These are terrible times. 6% of the population is unemployed.
COSTELLO: That many people are out of work?
ABBOTT: Oh, no, that’s 18%
COSTELLO: You just said 6%
ABBOTT: I said 6% unemployed
COSTELLO: Right! 6% out of work.
ABBOTT: No! That’s 18%
COSTELLO: Okay, so it’s 18% unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, that’s 6%
COSTELLO: NOW, WAIT A MINUTE! Is it 6% or 18%???
ABBOTT: It’s very simple. 6% are unemployed. 18% are out of work.
COSTELLO: But, but, if you’re out of work, you’re unemployed.
ABBOTT: No, you can’t count the “out of work” as the unemployed.
COSTELLO: Huh?
ABBOTT: You have to look for work to be unemployed.
COSTELLO: BUT, THEY'RE OUT OF WORK!!!
ABBOTT: No, no, you miss the point
COSTELLO: What point?
ABBOTT: Someone who isn’t looking for work can’t be counted with those who are looking for work.
COSTELLO: Why?
ABBOTT: Because it wouldn’t be fair to the unemployed
COSTELLO: But, they’re ALL out of work
ABBOTT: Yes, but the unemployed are looking for work. The rest finally gave up looking.
COSTELLO: How do we know they gave up looking?
ABBOTT: Because they aren’t getting paid unemployment any more.
COSTELLO: What? Why?
ABBOTT: Because it ran out.
COSTELLO: So, if their unemployment runs out, they’re not allowed to look for work?
ABBOTT: Of course they can look for work. They just can’t be paid unemployment.
COSTELLO: So, they’re out of work, but, because the government isn’t paying them, they aren’t unemployed.
ABBOTT: Now you’ve got it.
COSTELLO: I don’t even know what I’m talking about.
ABBOTT: And it gets better. When their unemployment pay runs out, the unemployment rate goes down.
COSTELLO: the unemployment rate goes down because your unemployment pay stops?
ABBOTT: That’s right. That’s how Obama got to 6%. Otherwise it would be 18%.
COSTELLO: And then, if they said 18%, he wouldn’t have been re-elected.
ABBOTT: Absolutely.
COSTELLO: So, there are two ways to bring down the unemployment rate.
ABBOTT: That’s right, two ways.
COSTELLO: It goes down if someone gets a job?
ABBOTT: True
COSTELLO: And it goes down if they can’t find a job long enough, and they lose their unemployment pay.
ABBOTT: Bingo!
COSTELLO: So there are two ways to reduce unemployment, and the easiest way is for people to be out of work for a long time.
ABBOTT: NOW you’re thinking like Obama’s economists.
COSTELLO: I don’t even know what I just said
ABBOTT: NOW, you’re thinking like Obama.
If you can’t read the plague, it reads as follows:
In Memory of Mike O.D. Brown
I would like the memory of Michael Brown to be a happy one. He left an afterglow of bruises and contusions on everyone he met. He leaves an echo thundering of paid protesters through the decrepit buildings of Ferguson, chanting softly that cops must die and whitey is to blame. He’d like the tears of those he beat up and of the business-owners whose livelihood were tore down in his name, to cry forever in his memory.
Dear Abby,
My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job 14 years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the bull with his buddies, while I have to work to pay the bills.
Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me, and even hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do?
Signed: Clueless
Dear Clueless:
Grow up and dump him. Good grief woman! You don't need him anymore! You're running for President of the United States.
Act like one.
Dear Abby,
My husband has a long record of money problems. He runs up huge credit-card bills and at the end of the month, if I try to pay them off, he shouts at me, saying I am stealing his money. He says pay the minimum and let our kids worry 
about the rest, but already we can hardly keep up with the interest. Also he has been so arrogant and abusive toward our neighbors that most of them no longer speak to us. The few that do are an odd bunch, to whom he has been giving a lot of expensive gifts, running up our bills even more. Also, he has gotten religious. One week he hangs out with Catholics and the next with people who say the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and the next he's with Muslims.. Finally, the last straw. He's demanding that before anyone can be in the same room with him, they must sign a loyalty oath. It's just so horribly creepy! Can you help?
Signed,
Lost
Dear Lost,
Stop whining, Michelle. You're getting to live in the White House for free, travel the world, and have others pay for everything for you. You can divorce the jerk any time you want. The rest of us are stuck with the idiot another year and a half!
Signed,
Abby
DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING:
Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together, and I've never seen a man go into or leave their apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?
Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence on my VCR?
Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.
Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.
Dear Abby,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.
Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I get out?
Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.
Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.
Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered I think she is going through mental pause.
Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?
REMEMBER...THESE PEOPLE CAN AND DO VOTE!
HT: http://thepeoplescube.com/
That guy will probably now be labeled a sex offender. Smart move!
RE #63
“talk about getting the s****y end of the stick, twice even!!!”
Regard
alfa6 ;>}
Ouch?
Ouch! “Stick a fork in him, he’s done”?
American Taxpayer.
What a crappy party.
You’ve got to feel for the guy. Not only is this painful and humiliating, but he’s going to be the “butt” of some memorable ER staff stories for years to come.
Hooboy, do I ever need this.
"If you don't get your ass outta this haywagon right now I'm gonna pitch it out!"
"Aw, screw you... HEY!! OUCH!!!"
"I told ya..."
BTW - You owe me for a new keyboard and monitor. The wife isn't to pleased about the condition of the wall paper either.
"Ceterum censeo 0bama esse delendam."
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Foreplay in San Fagsicko?
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