Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes

Date: Now | Author: Me

[Lazamataz]

You know those pink coconut marshmallow cakes you find on convenience store shelves...? If you get too many of them together in close proximity, critical mass is reached and an explosion ensues.

The explosion creates tens of new pink coconut marshmallow cakes per cake found on the shelf. This, in turn, causes another explosion, which occurs a few hours, when the cakes heat up again. This is known by Military EOD specialists and government teams dedicated to controlling these outbreaks, as a Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cake Event (PCMCE).

In the effort to make these dangerous snacks more acceptable, Hostess renamed the product, from the "Dangerous Spontaneously Exploding Coconut Marshmallow Cakes" to the less-threatening "Sno-Balls".

If you have never heard of the nanobot "Grey Fog" scenario, let me explain it: If you release a nanobot that has, as its only purpose, the collection of raw materials to fashion more nanobots, who in turn create more nanobots, the entire planet will become a 'grey fog' of nanobots. Like the Nanobot 'Grey Fog' scenario, the pink coconut marshmallow cake self-perpetuating explosion is a very real, very serious problem. There are three cases of it, right now, that authorities are trying to control:

1. One, Area 51, was once a small sleepy town called Carlstown, until a convenience store clerk mistakenly placed four of the cakes in close proximity. In response the government quickly erected Area 51 to contain the crisis. They spread rumors about UFOs, and called the Area a secret testing facility. So far -- until this expose' -- the secret has held.

2. Another occurred in the 1980's in Chernobyl, Ukraine. Several boxes of pink coconut marshmallow cakes were smuggled from the West, but without proper instructions translated from English, the clerks allowed the cakes to sit in a warehouse without the proper lead shielding. Once the cakes erupted, the Ukrainian government tried, unsuccessfully, to wipe out the cakes by overloading a nuclear reactor. All that happened is that they have millions of radioactive pink coconut marshmallow cakes.

3. Finally, a PCMCE occurred in the south of France in 2011. This occurred with the white-colored version of the cake. The French authorities were able to airlift the entire convenience store to the Antarctic, where the increase in mass is mistakenly attributed to ice growth. Closer satellite observation reveals millions of tiny little white coconut marshmallow cakes, and somehow the outcome meshed well with their colloquial name: Sno-Balls.

This is a serious problem. We will need funding to contain it. Please lobby your Senator and Congressman to fund the PCMCE Containment fund today!

Note the specialist carefully handling this dangerous product. Please note he is aligning the dangerous cake with the polar magnetic lines. This tends to minimize the risk of a PCMCE.

DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS ON YOUR OWN WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING!

[Lazamataz]

Yeah. Roswell.

Actually, the mistaken name of Roswell comes from a garbled police radio transmission. A cop, who reported to the scene, recognized the danger quickly. In an effort to prevent panic, he radio'ed "ALLS WELL", but being as he was drowning in pink coconut marshmallow cakes, it came out as "ROSWELL".

[fieldmarshaldj]

I think I ate one of those once and had a rectal explosion.

[no-to-illegals]

yep, the watermark is still sinking ...

[Slings and Arrows]

Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes are definitely a threat...those things taste nasty.

[Lazamataz]

I think the movie The Blob was based on an incident in the Midwest where a truck carrying a load of Sno-Balls slid off an icy road releasing the entire truckload into the open. The cover story that it came from outerspace was just that.

You're right. We learned from that event that if you catch it early enough, and release pot-smokers into the area, you can contain the event, as they will gorge themselves on the cakes. The events in the Ukraine and Southern France were too far along for the pot-smoker solution.

[GeronL]

lolz

[no-to-illegals]

Is this a windmill story?

[Lazamataz]

Worse. Do not underestimate the threat of Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes.

Do you know why the Soviet Union never attacked us with nuclear weapons?

Because we had twenty B-52's always in the air, loaded with Pink Coconut Marshmallow Cakes.

Even the Soviets recognized that they were defenseless against this Doomsday weapon, lacking -- as they did at the time -- any significant pot-smoker population.

[windcliff]

Don’t let in land....in my belly.

[Harmless Teddy Bear]

My mom makes a cake, chocolate with seven minute frosting and coconut sprinkled on top. It is top five of my favorite cakes. When I went to college I missed her cake and tried a PCMC.

Even now the memory makes me feel slightly queasy.

Those things are not a legitimate food product.

[no-to-illegals]

Colorado has the Cakes ....

[jazusamo]

She was supposed to say Sno-Balls.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrsjTzHhtnI

[no-to-illegals]

okay LE ... hint for the day ... yellow is the color inside ...

[no-to-illegals]

yep, Laz, we were peed on ...

[Lazamataz]

My mom makes a cake, chocolate with seven minute frosting and coconut sprinkled on top. It is top five of my favorite cakes. When I went to college I missed her cake and tried a PCMC. Even now the memory makes me feel slightly queasy. Those things are not a legitimate food product.

Of course not. These products are made from the byproducts of fission reactions.

[Lazamataz]

Someone asked me on another forum where I discovered this information.

I told them that one Edward Snowden and I have chatted from time to time.

Snowden. Sno-Balls. See the link?

[ClearCase_guy]

‘sno surprise.

[Hillarys Gate Cult]

The white Sno-Balls were good for doing Little Orphan Annie impressions but now few people know who she was even with the recent stupid movie.

[Dr. Thorne]

You’ve finally lost it.

[left that other site]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcW_Ygs6hm0

One will never get slim pickin ping coconut marshmallow cakes