Trump Indicted For Taking More Chick-fil-A Sauces Than He Actually Needed For His Order

Babylon Bee ^ | April 11, 2024 | Staff

[Twotone]

ATLANTA, GA — What began as a seemingly harmless visit to a local Chick-fil-A turned into a new legal quagmire for former President Donald Trump, as he was indicted today for taking more sauces than he actually needed for his order.

The news broke as Trump made headlines for his positive reception at the popular eatery, with customers and employees fawning over him as he ordered his food. A spokesperson for the Department of Justice held a press briefing to announce the indictment.

"We've got him this time," the spokesperson said. "What we saw at Chick-fil-A yesterday was yet another example of Donald Trump flouting authority, the rule of law, and democracy itself by taking an exorbitant number of sauce packets with his order. As part of society, there are certain rules regarding courtesy and human decency. Taking handful after handful of Chick-fil-A sauce is something we cannot allow. He's gone too far this time."

When asked about the latest indictment, Trump was as defiant as usual. "MORE PHONY CHARGES!" he said in a post to his Truth Social account. "SLEEPY JOE BIDEN AND HIS CORRUPT JUSTICE DEPARTMENT ARE NOW CHARGING ME WITH TAKING TOO MANY CHICK-FIL-A SAUCES. I TOOK THE CORRECT AMOUNT. THE PERFECT AMOUNT, SOME WOULD SAY. THE DEMOCRATS DON'T WANT ME TO HAVE ENOUGH SAUCE OR AMERICA TO BE GREAT AGAIN! WITCH HUNT!"

At publishing time, a source within the DOJ also reported that the government is looking into allegations that Trump double-dipped his chicken strip in a sauce cup.

[rdl6989]

Don’t give them any ideas.

[PGR88]

Its what Russian spies and Putin agents do - taking materials necessary for life from Americans!

[READINABLUESTATE]

LOL! All bad things that happen can be blamed on either Climate change Or Donald Trump. /s

[ComputerGuy]

I went yesterday and got two chicken sammiches and two packs of barbecue sauce. Only one of the sauce packs was actually eaten.

[Dr. Sivana]

My daughter takes two packets per sandwich. She’s allowed to though, because she’s black.

[BenLurkin]

Does he keep hotsauce in his purse?

[ComputerGuy]

Poor me. I don’t have a ‘scuse.

[old school]

The Bee always gets a chuckle out of me!

[FamiliarFace]

Fani Willis is licking her chops at the idea.

[Political Junkie Too]

I always ask for three hot sauces at Taco Bell, but they always give me about three handfuls anyway.

They all end up in the garbage.

-PJ

[Telepathic Intruder]

He’s a dictator!

[magooey]

Last time Trump was accused of taking two scoops of ice cream for dessert. What an awful man! /sarc

[PGR88]

Trump also double dips his nachos in the spicy cheese sauce at Super Bowl parties.

[mabarker1]

Nah, the Secret Service’s newest to the Security Team has a nice Rubbermaid compartmented container with sturdy handles that all the packets go into.

Sorted by: Classified, Top Secret and Street Info.

[metmom]

This is about the level of seriousness of ALL the things they are trying to pin on Trump.

[rdcbn1]

Same thing happened to me but I beat that rap

Not optimistic on Trumps chances though

[Portcall24]

About 20 years ago I was TDY to Foot Hood, TX supporting a CW5 system evaluator. He and some other Army officers met with the owner and staff of McLane trucking at a fast food restaurant. When the meal was over and people were leaving, the trucking company owner policed up all the unopened salt, pepper and ketchup packs and took them back to the appropriate place. An old adage, “Waste not, want not” still rings true

[SunkenCiv]

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  :NeverTrumpin':

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[GOPJ]

"We've got him this time," the spokesperson said. "What we saw at Chick-fil-A yesterday was yet another example of Donald Trump flouting authority, the rule of law, and democracy itself by taking a ... number of sauce packets with his order.

ping