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Many See The Miracles Of Obama
Counterjab ^ | 06/0/08 | Chris Davis

Posted on 06/08/2008 5:55:09 PM PDT by writer33

Chicago, IL—Rush Limbaugh refers to him sarcastically as “The Messiah,” but Mary Magdalene, a 47-year old divorce lawyer doesn’t find that humorous.

“He’s a typical pig,” Mary claimed. “He probably doesn’t believe in anything.”

Mary’s belief in Obama didn’t happen overnight. At first, she was skeptical, but does admit that watching Obama give a speech on television was “mesmorizing.” It wasn’t until one day when she was in a hurry to get to her bustling law practice that all of that changed.

“I was having a bad hair day,” Mary noted. “I was running late, scurried to my Toyota Prius, backed out of the driveway, and something told me to stop. The garage door closed, and there it was…the stain, a stain that has seared itself in my memory. I couldn’t believe it. My jaw dropped and tears stung my cheeks.”

Mary asked herself if it really could’ve been the image of Barack Obama that had stained her garage door. The haunting image, according to Mary, stayed with her the entire day. She told us that she met with client after client, but was unable to shake the events of that fateful morning.

“I went home that day and washed the stain away,” Mary claimed. “But every morning it reappeared. I tried chemical after chemical, but Obama’s stain just wouldn’t wash away. It only meant that this miracle was the sign that he was truly chosen to be President of the United States.”

Since then, Mary has volunteered for the Obama campaign, walking door to door through rain, sleet and snow to advocate for his presidency. But Mary isn’t the only one to witness the miracles of Barack Obama.

Esther Hokey, a 55-year old waitress in Hollywood, Florida, also has seen the miracles of Obama, having witnessed them first hand at an Obama rally. The event in Hollywood ripped her from the Hillary camp and into the awaiting arms of Obama.

“I went to the rally with my Clinton 2008 shirt. Obama was giving a sermon on big oil and the evils of “whitey” when he suddenly began to levitate above the crowd of ten thousand. We all fell to our knees in utter shock and awe!”

Esther noted that she went home and immediately burned her Clinton 2008 shirt. If it weren’t for the miracle in Hollywood, according to Esther, she would still be supporting Hillary Clinton to this date.

“I can still remember his words to this day,” sobbed Esther. “He told us that ‘he was the one we were waiting for to smite big oil and heal the wounds created by whitey.’ How could you not believe?”

And then there’s the story of John Baptiste, a 34-year old diesel mechanic from Detroit, Michigan. His experience was yet another in a long line of miracles performed by Barack Obama.

“We were at a rally for Obama by Lake Michigan,” John stated. “He was telling us that we need not worry about either John McCain or Hillary Clinton, and that he was truly chosen to resurrect America from its long slumber.”

John claimed that a lady in a Clinton 2008 shirt stood up and inquired as to how the people really know that you are to be the nominee.

“I’ll never forget it,” John told us. “Barack turned to her with a fire in his eyes and said, ‘behold my power.’ And with a wave of his hand, he parted the waters of Lake Michigan. It was so inspiring that I fell into a fetal position as the tears rolled down my face.”

Story after story has spread like wildfire across America as “The Messiah” works his miracles on its citizens. It is indeed a truly perplexing matter for John McCain. If he wants to spread his arms and love America, then he must first consider that only “The Messiah” can spread love. Secondly, he must take into account that he will now be characterized as “The Great Satan.”


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: 2008; blackmessiah; blueturban; falseprophets; obama; obamamessiah; parody; satire
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Political Satirist Chris Davis
1 posted on 06/08/2008 5:55:09 PM PDT by writer33
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To: Allegra; b4its2late; Babu; backhoe; Bahbah; bannie; BellStar; Big Horn; BigSkyFreeper; bitt; ...

SATIRE ping!


2 posted on 06/08/2008 5:56:02 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: Ann Archy; Miss Didi

Thought you might enjoy this.


3 posted on 06/08/2008 5:57:49 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

“but Obama’s stain just wouldn’t wash away.”

We will probably be saying the same thing in 2012....


4 posted on 06/08/2008 6:02:36 PM PDT by PGR88
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To: writer33

It may be satire, but like their grandparents of old who “liked” Ike, these American people today are in a stupor over Oprah’s Obama. It would all be comical were not the forthcoming results so tragic.


5 posted on 06/08/2008 6:03:13 PM PDT by Theodore R. ( Cowardice is still forever!)
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To: writer33

Magdalene, Hokey, Baptiste...LOL! Obama...LOL!


6 posted on 06/08/2008 6:04:00 PM PDT by PGalt
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To: writer33
...but Obama’s stain just wouldn’t wash away.

Yuck.

7 posted on 06/08/2008 6:04:16 PM PDT by library user
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To: writer33

Esther Hokey lives on my block.


8 posted on 06/08/2008 6:04:16 PM PDT by Krankor (N)
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To: writer33

Excellent work, Chris. Your final paragraph sums up the dilemma of John McCain, former media darling. He has learned the hard way how completely fickle the press is and he will get zero help from them in this campaign.


9 posted on 06/08/2008 6:04:26 PM PDT by Faith
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To: PGR88

So, Clinton’s stain wouldn’t either ...


10 posted on 06/08/2008 6:05:02 PM PDT by bboop (Stealth Tutor)
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To: writer33

Didn’t someone think he was Satan and checked his hairline looking for the “666”, but it wasn’t there? Only “999” was seen.


11 posted on 06/08/2008 6:09:38 PM PDT by Mark (Don't argue with my posts. I typed while under sniper fire..)
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To: Theodore R.
It may be satire, but like their grandparents of old who “liked” Ike, these American people today are in a stupor over Oprah’s Obama.

Yes, indeed.

12 posted on 06/08/2008 6:15:16 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: PGalt

Good eye. Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, PGalt.


13 posted on 06/08/2008 6:15:47 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: library user

Too funny, lu.


14 posted on 06/08/2008 6:16:32 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: Krankor
Esther Hokey lives on my block.

My apologies. :-)

15 posted on 06/08/2008 6:17:34 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

bump


16 posted on 06/08/2008 6:18:09 PM PDT by Skooz (Any nation that would elect Hillary Clinton as its president has forfeited its right to exist.)
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To: Faith

Good eye, Faith. Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it.


17 posted on 06/08/2008 6:18:53 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: Mark
Only “999” was seen.

:-)

Thanks for reading, Mark. Glad you enjoyed it.

18 posted on 06/08/2008 6:19:44 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: Skooz

Thanks for the bump and reading, Skooz. I appreciate it.


19 posted on 06/08/2008 6:21:28 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

A good ole fashion baptizin’ in the local Lake Erie proves to do wonders.


20 posted on 06/08/2008 6:22:52 PM PDT by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
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To: lilylangtree
A good ole fashion baptizin’ in the local Lake Erie proves to do wonders.

No need for them to do that when their "savior" has arrived.

21 posted on 06/08/2008 6:28:40 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

I started reading and got as far as “the stain!!”. Then I looked at who wrote it! HAHAHA!!! Actually, I should have figured it out when I got to the “Mary Madgalene” part!

Sad thing is, some people really DO probably think he’s some sort of ‘savior’! Scary!

Good job Chris!

LOL!


22 posted on 06/08/2008 6:32:06 PM PDT by sneakers (Liberty is the answer to the human condition.)
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To: sneakers

Thanks for reading, sneakers. I appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed it. But you’re only the second person that’s commented they caught the Mary Magdalene reference.

I’m sure there are far more. But glad you enjoyed it.


23 posted on 06/08/2008 6:37:32 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

The Toyota Prius alerted me to the satire...it was just too pat...


24 posted on 06/08/2008 7:02:17 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet (McCain could never convince me to vote for him. Only the Marxist Obama can!)
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To: 2ndDivisionVet
The Toyota Prius alerted me to the satire...it was just too pat...

I had no doubt you would discover it. FReeper intellect is far too high.

25 posted on 06/08/2008 7:04:57 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

Even a savior gets baptized, possibly more than once.


26 posted on 06/08/2008 7:14:50 PM PDT by lilylangtree (Veni, Vidi, Vici)
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To: lilylangtree
Even a savior gets baptized, possibly more than once.

Since liberals don't have a religion but liberalism, they don't need baptism.

27 posted on 06/08/2008 7:19:14 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

The biggest trouble for satirists these days is staying at least one step ahead of reality.


28 posted on 06/08/2008 7:19:20 PM PDT by RichInOC (Obama '08: Your Sins Are Forgiven, Go In Peace.)
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To: RichInOC

This is true.


29 posted on 06/08/2008 7:20:11 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: Billthedrill

This will help you understand their pain.

:-)


30 posted on 06/08/2008 7:26:35 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33
In retrospect, I bet Billy Bubba wishes his stain could have been washed away.

LOL

Great satire piece. I shall share with friends who are hard core Barry Butts.

31 posted on 06/08/2008 7:29:24 PM PDT by upchuck (Who wins doesn't matter. They're all liberals. Spend your time and money to take back Congress.)
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To: upchuck

Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed it and good luck on the sharing.

:-)


32 posted on 06/08/2008 7:30:21 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33
I heard there was this Democrat operative who denied Obama before the tv networks three times in one day; just as Obama said he would. Peter is now the rock solid foundation of the Obama campaign.
33 posted on 06/08/2008 7:31:07 PM PDT by ricks_place
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To: ricks_place
Peter is now the rock solid foundation of the Obama campaign.

:-) Good one.

34 posted on 06/08/2008 7:33:54 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: Theodore R.

And because Oprah’s gah, gah, over nobama, her sales, her number of tv watchers have dropped. Yep...She goofed when she trumpted nobama’s wares.


35 posted on 06/08/2008 7:38:46 PM PDT by tillacum
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To: lilylangtree

With beer or hard liquor?


36 posted on 06/08/2008 7:41:21 PM PDT by tillacum
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To: writer33

You’ll never find a more congenial spot...

Then Obamalot!


37 posted on 06/08/2008 7:43:39 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: Krankor

Must resist making “Hokey Pokey” joke...


38 posted on 06/08/2008 7:45:21 PM PDT by Grizzled Bear ("Does not play well with others.")
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To: writer33

Barack Obama is the Black Marjoe Goertner. He just hasn’t gotten a conscience,yet.


39 posted on 06/08/2008 7:45:34 PM PDT by Eva (CHANGE- the post modern euphemism for Marxist revolution.)
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To: Grizzled Bear
Must resist making “Hokey Pokey” joke...

Make the joke. Make the joke.

Thanks for reading. I appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed it.

40 posted on 06/08/2008 7:48:18 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: Eva
Barack Obama is the Black Marjoe Goertner. He just hasn’t gotten a conscience,yet.

How dare you assault "The Messiah!" You can't do that.

Thanks for reading, Eva. I appreciate it. :-)

41 posted on 06/08/2008 7:49:35 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

I BEEEEEELIIEEEEEEVVVVEEEE

NOT!


42 posted on 06/08/2008 7:55:59 PM PDT by LUV W (The Republican Party is strongest when it is fearlessly conservative! RL \:D/)
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To: LUV W

:-)


43 posted on 06/08/2008 7:58:43 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

...I mean..wouldn't you beeeelieeeeve
if you saw this on your garage floor????

44 posted on 06/08/2008 8:08:45 PM PDT by LUV W (The Republican Party is strongest when it is fearlessly conservative! RL \:D/)
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To: LUV W

I would believe indeed, LUV W.

Thanks for posting the graphic. It’s perfect.


45 posted on 06/08/2008 8:10:07 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

THAT is scary! LOL


46 posted on 06/08/2008 8:11:02 PM PDT by SouthTexas (If you are not living on the edge, you are taking up too much space!)
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To: writer33

Crude (oil, that is) but effective! :D


47 posted on 06/08/2008 8:11:35 PM PDT by LUV W (The Republican Party is strongest when it is fearlessly conservative! RL \:D/)
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To: SouthTexas

Thanks for reading, ST. Glad you enjoyed it.


48 posted on 06/08/2008 8:15:17 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: LUV W

Thanks for reading, LUV W. I appreciate it. Glad you enjoyed it.

Crude is effective.

:-)


49 posted on 06/08/2008 8:15:54 PM PDT by writer33 (I'm Still Whining That Rush Limbaugh Isn't Doing Enough To Elect A Conservative)
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To: writer33

It was a neat satire, Ma’am!


50 posted on 06/08/2008 8:21:28 PM PDT by LUV W (The Republican Party is strongest when it is fearlessly conservative! RL \:D/)
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