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DUmmie FUnnies 08-08-08 (DUmmies React To John Edwards Scandal Admission)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 8, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 08/08/2008 3:56:19 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

The first thing I thought of when I heard about John Edwards admitting that he was shtooping the Hunter chick was how my pet DUmmie ants would react. The moment I came home, I took a look at my DUmmie Ant Farm to watch them form the circular mill over this scandal. So let us all take a look inside the DUmmie Ant Farm at this THREAD titled, "Edwards Admits Sexual Affair; Lied as Presidential Candidate." As usual the DUmmie ant rantings are in scandalous Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, still laughing over Edwards "admission" that he was 99% truthful," is in the [brackets]:

Edwards Admits Sexual Affair; Lied as Presidential Candidate. In ABC News Interview, Edwards Says He Cheated, but Did Not Father Child

[Yeah, Edwards spent hours until the early AM visiting Andrew Young's daughter at the Beverly Hilton.]

John Edwards repeatedly lied during his Presidential campaign about an extramarital affair with a novice filmmaker, the former Senator admitted to ABC News today.

[GASP! Edwards LIED? Who woulda thunk it?]

In an interview for broadcast tonight on Nightline, Edwards told ABC News correspondent Bob Woodruff he did have an affair with 44-year old Rielle Hunter, but said that he did not love her.

[We feel so much better now knowing that it was strictly for gratuitous sex.]

Edwards also denied he was the father of Hunter's baby girl, Frances Quinn, although the one-time Democratic Presidential candidate said he has not taken a paternity test.

[Edwards needs to take the MAURY POVICH HOME PATERNITY TEST.]

Edwards said he knew he was not the father based on timing of the baby's birth on February 27, 2008. He said his affair ended too soon for him to have been the father.

[So Andrew Young got sloppy seconds? And now to laugh at the DUmmie reaction to the fall of their icon...]

I have no respect for anyone who cheats on their spouse. There are NO excuses as far as I'm concerned. It's called Divorce. It's that simple. And the fact that his wife is extremely ill, well that just goes to show what kind of person he REALLY is.

[A Bill Clinton!]

Well there goes any plans for Edwards as AG going after the media companies...

[Will he still be able to buy a PlayStation3 on the sly at Walmart?]

God, what is it about married men who can't keep it in their pants? F*ck them.

[Ben Burch did.]

The Penis will always get you in to trouble

[Is that you, Bill Clinton?]

Pisses me off. Poor Elizabeth. He's dead to me.

[But, hey, he was still "99% honest."]

What about their two little ones? How do you explain this to them??? Why don't men think of that when they unzip?

[Three little ones. Actually four little ones after Edwards unzips.]

That's the problem. All that blood in the penis makes them unable to think.,

[Every guy who ever picked up a bar hag at 4 AM is nodding his head in agreement with you.]

I am too angry to express myself civilly, but let it suffice to say he is dog dung to me. He is without a heart or a conscience. Jesus. I bought his lie hook line and sinker. Imagine what Elizabeth is going through - along with her other battles. A pox upon you, John Edwards, and your little weenie, too!

[Please don't use silly juvenile words for that body part. The proper scientific term is "talleywhacker."]

Yes every woman that is dying or fighting a major illness loves it when her husband screws somebody else. Happened to a friend of mine and it almost killed her. What a bastard.

[John Edwards is just $10 away from being rehabilitated.]

Hubby said this morning that he could imagine how a guy would stray with an ill wife for a long time. I think that clinches it for me. I've always suspected him of cheating while I was confined to bed from 17-36 weeks with risk of losing the baby. Damn him. Now instead of being 75% sure, I'd put it at 95% sure. Damn men and their penises.

[LOL! So the Edwards affair also outed your hubby.]

The idea that Barack would even think about cheating on Michelle is so ridiculous and unbelievable that I cannot even imagine it!

[Is that you, Scarlett Johansen?]

He just ruined his political career. The person I had originally hoped would be the next President just committed political suicide.

[Perhaps Will Pitt can now become his press secretary.]

THE KID IS HIS too. He is trying to slide out of that

[Sliding into that is what caused the kid in the first place.]

Goodbye John Edwards. You are now dead weight in political circles. You are trash, total pure unadulturated trash. You're a liar and an ass. Your wife is battling cancer and you're out banging other women? You loser, F*CKING LOSER. Why didn't you just surf to a porn web site and spank the monkey really quick and rush back to your wife's side? America does NOT NEED YOU. Go away and goodbye.

[The Edwards 2012 campaign is looking forward to your contribution.]

It also looks like money was involved, he has a wife with cancer and a baby born to this woman may have been his. How much worse can it get?

[If it turns out that his other mistress was Ben Burch.]

He is a lot of things, but great isn't one. He's a pussy, a liar, a whimp, a prick. He was no leader...he was the slick talking used car salesman they warned us about. ... total fraud. The quicker he can be jettisoned out of the public limelight the quicker we can move forward.

[Why do you hate Bill Clinton so much?]

AAAAAAAAARGH! Someone quick, I'm in need of an intervention. Doctor, please up my meds!

[Stand by! Your lithium overdose is on the way!]

Hey John can I have the $100.00 back now?

[You'll get it right after Bev Harris sends you your $10 back.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: bimboeruption; dummies; johnedwards; riellehunter
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To: dead

Too funny!


101 posted on 08/09/2008 5:26:55 AM PDT by commonguymd (A de facto single party country is nigh. The partisan bickering is a mere bilking mechanism.)
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To: Mr. Silverback

You’re right, but I hope she has more than a few months.


102 posted on 08/09/2008 6:47:55 AM PDT by Paul Heinzman (Damn men and their penises!)
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To: Paul Heinzman

Me too. Been praying for her whenever she comes to mind ever since the diagnosis. Hope she has plenty of time to get their younger kids on their way, or better yet, isfully healed.


103 posted on 08/09/2008 6:59:07 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (*******It's not conservative to accept an inept Commander-in-Chief in a time of war. Back Mac.******)
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To: libs_kma; PJ-Comix

Someone who frequently has business at the county courthouse (probably a social worker type, because the car’s too old to be a lawyer’s) has had Edwards signs taped up in her back window since about this time last year, and kept them there long after he got out of the race.

I’d love to run into her about now...


104 posted on 08/09/2008 7:04:56 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (*******It's not conservative to accept an inept Commander-in-Chief in a time of war. Back Mac.******)
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To: Mr. Silverback

Do you know anyplace where I can get John Edwards bumper stickers? No kidding. I really want them and I want a few thousand of them.


105 posted on 08/09/2008 7:11:14 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List ---The BIGGEST on the FR!!!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Sorry FRiend, no clue.

Of course, you could have some printed. You could avoid copyright issues by making up your own design.


106 posted on 08/09/2008 7:20:21 AM PDT by Mr. Silverback (*******It's not conservative to accept an inept Commander-in-Chief in a time of war. Back Mac.******)
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To: TruthWillWin
The DU reaction surprised me. Thought they would be a little lot easier on him. Why did Bill get a free ride for his serial philandering?

One word: Hillary.

107 posted on 08/09/2008 7:27:57 AM PDT by Toadman ((molon labe))
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To: COBOL2Java

I was thinking the same thing.. if the impeached ex president can speak, then breck girl should be able too.. and then following their speeches their wives could give speeches on how to stay with your scum bags...and take the humilitation... on and on it could go.. bring the kids in next.. to give thier views of the situations....they could add an extra day to the convention just to hear the tales...


108 posted on 08/09/2008 2:47:57 PM PDT by JoanneSD (illegals represented without taxation.. Americans taxed without representation)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Oops, there goes another one under the bus
Bravo!

109 posted on 08/09/2008 3:30:32 PM PDT by conservatism_IS_compassion (The conceit of journalistic objectivity is profoundly subversive of democratic principle.)
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To: PJ-Comix

As I have told my wife and boss after boss (when discussing expenses)...there is nothing scarier than “road mung”!


110 posted on 08/09/2008 7:24:33 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: PJ-Comix
"Damn men and their penises."

Must be one of those "Lesbians against Bush".

111 posted on 08/09/2008 7:30:55 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: PJ-Comix
Sweet, sweet Connie, doin' her act She had the whole show and that's a natural fact!


112 posted on 08/09/2008 7:42:14 PM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel
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To: Charles Henrickson
Of course. Edwards was Father of the Year for 2007.

John Edwards isn't a father....

He's a mutha (insert your own expletive here)....

113 posted on 08/09/2008 9:36:45 PM PDT by dirtbiker (There goes another dimocrat thinking with his lower apendage again....)
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To: Paul Heinzman

"John, get your hand out of my pants, please."

114 posted on 08/09/2008 9:40:46 PM PDT by dirtbiker (There goes another dimocrat thinking with his lower apendage again....)
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To: TruthWillWin
The DU reaction surprised me. Thought they would be a little lot easier on him. Why did Bill get a free ride for his serial philandering?

Because these people knew Bill Clinton. And John Edwards, sir, is no Bill Clinton!

115 posted on 08/14/2008 10:12:13 AM PDT by Ignatz (Why not enjoy the occasional swede?)
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