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Posted on 11/30/2009 5:34:06 PM PST by jerhad
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Climate scientists made a shocking discovery today: we are probably already dead based on new climate data numbers coming in from recent measurements.
“It’s even worse than I feared,” said Dr. Notid Skamartest of the United Nations Climate and World Control Council. “According to these new temperature measurements, we have all been killed by the effects of global warming. Probably sometime around the summer of 2007. In fact, I’m not even really speaking to you right now. This is just a residual memory transfiguration event that we all are experiencing after our recent demise. I can’t believe no one listened to us, and now we’re all dead.”
After years of dire warnings that carbon emissions would destroy the world any day now, it appears that the worst has already happened. Al Gore said in a press conference today that this discovery only shows we must have an even more aggressive approach to global warming in order to reverse the warming trend and save the now-destroyed earth.
“Now more than ever, we must accelerate changes in our behavior,” said Gore. “Oil companies must be shut down. My alternative fuel companies will supply all energy from now on. All livestock must be destroyed to eliminate their gastric emissions. We must turn back the clock and bring our mother earth back to life. No matter the cost.”
OK, I did my part as a citizen of FR and added the “satire” KW.
Now, let’s sit back, uncap a brewski, pop some Jiffy Pop and see how many miss it.. ;)
OK then. No solution, no problem.
Too many people beginning to doubt, got to crank up the fear.
>> Dr. Notid Skamartest
ROFL! I KNOW that guy!
You can’t look at this one since we’re already dead.
Al Gore_bechev’s right hand science man. LOL
Added Mr. Skamartest, "The newly elected Democrat Congressonal class of 2007 was too late to save us, we missed out just by a hair"
*lol*
At least it explains the last election...brain dead.
Well, if were all dead then this issue must be dead as well.
Now I understand it all...
Everyone is dead + dead people vote democrat = Obama POTUS, Pelosi Speaker and Reid Majority Leader.
Finally it makes sense. Voters aren’t stupid. They are just dead.
So I’m already dead??
Can anyone check the voters registry if I voted Democrat please?
I'm not dead yet, I think I'll go for a walk
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