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Vanity - Anyone have to do Performance Goals and assesment for their job (Professionals)
N/A | 12/2/2009 | Me

Posted on 12/02/2009 10:59:32 AM PST by CarmichaelPatriot

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To: TPluth

“My work ethic is exceeded only by my passion for quality.”


61 posted on 12/02/2009 11:44:08 AM PST by wbill
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To: Tijeras_Slim

Well you know that my favorite is when we take our ethics quiz. It is a 20 question test that had one question that says...

True or False: It is OK to grab a female employees breasts if they are particularly bodacious.

Then the remaining 19 questions are on being accurate on your time charging.

Then they ask you to turn in your time card on Thursday which has you guessing how many hours you will work that day and Friday which clearly violates the ethics training you have just took.


62 posted on 12/02/2009 11:44:43 AM PST by CougarGA7 (My tagline is an honor student at Free Republic Elementary School.)
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To: CougarGA7
True or False: It is OK to grab a female employees breasts if they are particularly bodacious.

Given our building, that is a purely hypothetical question.

63 posted on 12/02/2009 11:46:49 AM PST by Tijeras_Slim (Live jubtabulously!)
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To: Tijeras_Slim
Given our building, that is a purely hypothetical question.

Purely. There's a reason we don't have a "Girls of Our Company" calender.

Strangely enough though I always get that question wrong.

64 posted on 12/02/2009 11:52:26 AM PST by CougarGA7 (My tagline is an honor student at Free Republic Elementary School.)
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To: TPluth

Once upon a time (10 years ago) the Dilbert site had a
program that would generate a performance review for you.
It was pretty good too. Looked like any other if you
put in some key words.

They also had a “Mission Statement” generator.

I think both are long gone.


65 posted on 12/02/2009 11:53:32 AM PST by Verbosus (/* No Comment */)
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To: TPluth

Unfortunately we have a third party company that does the software for our performance goals and talent management. Its pretty stupid - the only thing is that it levels the playing field. Those who are underachievers have nothing to put in the blocks and those of us who can read and write make up inane goals, measurements, and objectives. We then can make all those things look great because we just go blah, blah, blah. I always make wordy paragraphs using words I know my management doesn’t know (I even spell using the UK English dictionary just to hassle them). The actual performance rating part of it has canned answers for below, met, and above - you just pick a level and it fills in the performance rating and justification.

Its not much and while I hope the company did not spend to much on it - I suspect they did. At least it keeps someone employed.


66 posted on 12/02/2009 12:15:41 PM PST by Patrsup (To stubborn to change now)
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To: TPluth

As a very seasoned, partly-retired, former executive, I find this current trend absurd in all regards.

A manager of staff, at any level, should be giving constant feedback, instruction and guidance throughout the year, day in and day out. The only “annual” review for any employee should be able to be summed up in two words: Good Job!

If any employee doesn’t qualify for “good job” at any time during the year they need: More training, more supervision, or to be let go.

The rest is all nonsense IMHO


67 posted on 12/02/2009 12:16:05 PM PST by Happyinmygarden (Yes, actually, I have pretty much seen and heard it all before...)
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To: Happyinmygarden

Dang.. You guys are no fun...

I guess I’ll take it (semi) seriously.

Thanks...


68 posted on 12/02/2009 12:30:23 PM PST by CarmichaelPatriot
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To: TPluth

“Dang.. You guys are no fun...I guess I’ll take it (semi) seriously.”

that’s the spirit...


69 posted on 12/02/2009 1:09:21 PM PST by jessduntno (Take a minute and watch it: -> http://www.youtube.com./watch?v=uoeuh-EGj7s <-)
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To: TPluth

Dude, I sympathize, it is painful. But you’ve got to learn to play the game saying (writing) a lot by saying nothing. The idiots above will eat it up.


70 posted on 12/02/2009 1:13:09 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: TPluth

Done the same things in various combinations over the years in the military, corporate and academic arenas. It is indeed a game adhering to the flavor of the year. In terms of quality just remember “The race for Quality has no finish line so technically it’s more like a death march”.


71 posted on 12/02/2009 1:21:58 PM PST by RJS1950 (The democrats are the "enemies foreign and domestic" cited in the federal oath)
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To: TPluth
Read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Then pick quality.
72 posted on 12/02/2009 1:23:35 PM PST by Excellence (Meet your new mother-in-law, the United States Government)
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