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DUmmie FUnnies 06-21-10 (Skinner Writes Hilariously Detailed Rules For DUmmie Dissent)
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 21, 2010 | Head DUmmie Skinner, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/21/2010 12:40:28 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

"Just plain NUts!!!"

That is the phrase that comes to mind when reading head DUmmie Skinner's new, obsessively detailed, highly redundant rules dealing with DUmmie dissent following the discovery by many in DUmmieland that the Mighty Ozbama is a mere mortal hiding behind his teleprompter. The FUnniest thing about these rules is that Skinner is DEAD SERIOUS and yet it comes off as completely hilarious in its utter obsessiveness as you can see in his THREAD, "Democratic Underground is changing. It's time to change the way we run it." So let us now watch Head DUmmie Skinner obsessively attempt to micromanage DUmmieland in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, profusely thanking Skinner for some of the best DUmmie comedy material ever, is in the [barackets]:

Democratic Underground is changing. It's time to change the way we run it.

[Any kind of dissent is so alien to our nature that we have to develop a whole new set of incredibly bizarre rules on how to deal with it.]

As you know, Barack Obama is the first Democratic President since DU was created back in 2001. Nearly a year-and-a-half into his administration, it is apparent that having a Democrat in the White House presents new and difficult challenges for the DU community.

[Hmmm... The Free Republic had TONS of dissent over Bush's support for shamnesty and attempting to appoint Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court yet NOT ONE new rule was developed on how to deal with that situation. OTOH, Skinner will soon post, in excruciating but hilarious detail a multitude of redundant rules on how to write about The One.]

The DU Administrators have long been frustrated with the persistent undercurrent of negativity and conflict here, which has been exacerbated by the lack of a common villain in the form of George W. Bush. But we have been reluctant to make changes to the way we run the site out of fear that we might do more harm than good. The problems we face are extraordinarily complicated, and despite (or perhaps because of) nearly a decade of administering this site we tend to be fairly skeptical of our own ability to effect broad-based changes that will improve DU for the majority of our members.

[Extraordinarily complicated? It's really simple. Some DUmmies have noticed that their Obamessiah is flawed and you don't know how to deal with it.]

So we have been banging our heads against the wall for a long time trying to figure out what we can or should do to try to make DU "better." We are committed to maintaining Democratic Underground as a community that welcomes a wide range of Democratic and progressive viewpoints. Now that we have a Democratic President, we will remain open to members who are generally critical of him, members who are generally supportive of him, and the majority of members who do not fall neatly into either camp. We considered many possible approaches -- from adding lots of new rules to getting rid of most of them -- and eventually came to realize that the DU rules we already have are actually pretty good. But we do not all share a consistent view of what they mean or how they should be enforced now that the larger political environment has changed.

[DU rules have been simple. Don't march in lockstep with the Party Line and you get Tombstoned. However it is going to be hilarious to see you spell out your new rules.]

So, our goal is to get everyone back on the same page. To be clear, we are not promising that all the discussions here are going to be "nicer," or that you will no longer have to read stuff on DU that you find annoying -- in fact, some of that stuff (depending on your point of view) might get worse rather than better. What we are trying to do is to make it more clear where the limits are. In practice, this means moderating will likely be more aggressive in some areas and less aggressive in others. We have no illusions that this approach will make everyone happy. But we hope by managing expectations and better explaining limits, we'll have a few more satisfied people here than we have now.

[Will you check the papers of any DUmmie suspected of being a LOUSY FREEPER TROLL?]

So after a great deal of consideration we've come up with a proposal to try and make DU a community again.

["A proposal?" Don't be so humble, Skinner. You have written up an obsessive series of detailed proposals notable for their unintentional hilarity.]

To be clear: These changes have not been implemented yet. Hopefully we can phase them in over the next couple weeks.

[Why am I picturing that scene from "Casablanca" where the loudspeakers in Paris announce in German the new rules of the approaching New Order?]

1. A clear, concise version of the DU rules will be pinned to the top of the two General Discussion forums, and will appear whenever someone clicks "Alert"

[Make the rules flash like neon signs. Please! Pretty please!]

We believe that most of the DU rules are just common decency and common sense, and if everyone just tried to participate in the spirit of mutual respect it would not be necessary to post a list of rules. Of course, that is just a dream. Here in the real world it is necessary to have some concrete standards so people understand what is expected of them.

[Another movie flashback. This time Strother Martin as the chain gang boss in "Cool Hand Luke" explaining the rules.]

With this in mind, we have "boiled down" the DU rules to remove all the explanatory filler and provide a straightforward list of violations. That list is below. This will hopefully make the rules much clearer for everyone -- members, moderators, and even administrators -- and get everyone on the same page. Unfortunately, there will always be some level of subjectivity when deciding what is within bounds and what is not. But we have made every reasonable effort to be both clear and concise, and remove unnecessary gray areas.

["and get everyone on the same page" aka "getting your mind right."]

Here is the official "list of violations" from the DU rules:

[Pay Attention! (Especially YOU Will Pitt).]


[Let the comedy begin!]

{ } Personal Attack - When discussing individual DU members, the following are considered personal attacks:

[Threatening to kill DUmmie bobolink in a public park?]

- Personal attacks, name-calling, or other insults.
- Telling someone to "shut up," "screw you," "go away," "f*ck off," or the like.
- Calling someone a liar, or calling a post a lie.
- Calling someone a conservative, disruptor, or similar.
- Calling someone a bigot.
- Belittling someone for being new or having a low post count.
- Negatively "calling out" someone who is not participating in the discussion.

[How about calling someone a "poopyhead?" Or a "toilet plunger."]

{ } Broad-brush or Extreme Group Attack - When discussing groups of DU members, the following are considered broad-brush group attacks:
- Broad-brush attack - intended to paint all people belonging to a particular group in a negative light. (The word "all" can be explicitly stated or implied.)
- Name-calling - Referring to any group of DU members by names intended to paint them in a negative light.
- Suggesting that any group of DU members are conservatives, disruptors, or similar.
- Belittling people who are new or have a low post count.
- Suggesting that any group of DU members are not Democrats, liberals, or progressives.
- Suggesting that a particular point of view is required in order to be a Democrat, liberal, or progressive.
- Note: As a general guideline, if it is possible to identify specific individuals who are being attacked, then it is against the rules. But if the attack is against a vaguely defined group of "some but not all" people, then it might be permitted.

[What if the attack is on mostly some of all the people? Is that permitted?]

{ } Insensitive - Includes bigotry, hate, ridicule, stereotyping, or insensitivity based on:
- Race or ethnicity.
- Gender (women or men).
- Sexual Orientation.
- Religion or lack of religion (Christians, Jews, Muslims, Atheists, Agnostics, etc.).
- Geographic region or place of origin.
- Disability (mental or physical).
- Weight or other physical characteristics.
- Use of insensitive terminology ("cocksucker," "c*nt," "bitch," "whore," "retard," etc.).

[You left off Gaiaists and Druids. So is it okay to use "insensitive terminology" on them?]

{ } Inflammatory, inappropriate, or over-the-top
- Any post which is, in the consensus of the moderators, too rhetorically hot, too divisive, too extreme, or too inflammatory.
- Advocating violent overthrow of the government, or harm toward high-ranking officials.
- Broad-brush smears toward law enforcement or military service members.
- Advocating the defeat of the US military, attack against the US, or other overtly anti-American sentiment.
- Sexually explicit content.
- Graphic violence, gore, pain, or human suffering (except with a legitimate political purpose, and with a clear warning in the subject line).
- Asking for medical advice.
- "Gravedancing" or "gravemourning" when someone is banned.
- Signature line/avatar image violates DU rules, is controversial, or is likely to cause discussions to go off-topic.

[Too bad you didn't have the above posted earlier. It would have prevented the Pied Piper from being tombstoned. Unfortunately, the perpetrator of Hoaxmas is now...Gone With The Wind.]

{ } Inappropriate attacks against Democrats
- Insults against prominent Democrats, such as "F*ck Obama."
- Name-calling against prominent Democrats. Calling Barack Obama "Barry" or some other name.
- Repeating Republican partisan attacks against Democrats.
- Broadly suggesting that there is no difference between Barack Obama and George W. Bush, or that there is no difference between Democrats and Republicans. (Arguing that specific policies are the same would be permitted.)
- Suggesting that President Obama has perpetrated a "con job" or "fraud," or similarly over-the-top assertions of bad faith.
- Advocating voting against Democrats, or in favor of third-party or GOP candidates.
- Broad-brush smears against Democrats generally. Broad expressions of contempt toward Democrats generally.

[The above will be cited when the heretics are subjected to the DUmmieland auto-da-fé.]

{ } Harassment or threats
- Any type of threat against another member of this community, either explicit or implied.
- Any action intended to harm another person -- physically, mentally, emotionally, or otherwise.
- A sustained or organized effort to demean, belittle, bully, or ostracize another person.
- Digging up or posting personal information about any private individual, on DU or elsewhere.
- Stalking someone across discussion threads or forums.

["Any action intended to harm another person -- physically, mentally, emotionally, or otherwise." Why not just shorten this to the "Will Pitt Rule?"]

{ } Rule enforcement issues
- Publicly complaining about rule enforcement.
- Publicly accusing the moderators/administrators of bias.
- Publicly "calling-out" the moderators/administrators over specific enforcement action.
- Continuing an argument from a locked thread or from a thread you have been blocked out of.

[The Thought Police will NOT be questioned!]

{ } Spamming
- Posting the same message repeatedly.
- Personal fundraising, for-profit advertising, or selling products or services (except in the DU Marketplace forum, or if given explicit permission from the DU administrators).
- Posting entirely in capital letters.

[Personal fundraising is banned? An "Andy" rule to have. And Bev Harris is just $10 away from making John F. Kerry president.]

{ } Off-topic/Wrong forum
- Any discussion thread or post that is off-topic for the forum or group in which it is posted.
- Non-news items posted in the Latest Breaking News forum.
- Highly speculative "conspiracy theory" topics outside the September 11 forum.
- Discussion of the Arab/Israeli conflict outside the Israel/Palestine forum.
- Discussion of purely religious topics outside the Religion/Theology forum.
- "Rallying the troops" in a forum or group to disrupt elsewhere on the website.

[Sigh! Will these rules ever end or will they stretch to the length of an ObamaCare bill?]

{ } Inappropriate source
- Websites with a focus on disrupting Democratic Underground and/or smearing DU members.
- Websites with bigoted content (Holocaust skepticism, Jewish conspiracies, and the like).
- Note: Linking to right-wing websites is usually permitted, provided the intent is to expose their agenda rather than agree with it.

[Admit it, Skinner. You had the DUmmie FUnnies in mind when writing, "Websites with a focus on disrupting Democratic Underground and/or smearing DU members."]

{ } Copyright violations
- Excerpt exceeds 4 paragraphs, or does not have a link to the source.


{ } Other (Please explain)

[ZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... Oh! You're finally done?]

Please note that in this effort, we gave special consideration to what can and cannot be said about prominent Democrats. As you know, the DU rules explicitly state that "Constructive criticism of Democrats or the Democratic Party is permitted." But that comes with a caveat: "When doing so, please keep in mind that most of our members come to this website in order to get a break from the constant attacks in the media against our candidates and our values. Highly inflammatory or divisive attacks that echo the tone or substance of our political opponents are not welcome here." I know many of you believe that any attack against Democrats, no matter how inflammatory or divisive, should be permitted here, but that is not what I believe and it is not what the DU rules say.

[Oops! My mistake, Skinner. You just can't let go.]

Now that we have a Democratic President, I do not think it is unreasonable to expect that he be shown more respect here than the illegitimate, incompetent asshole who previously held the office. He should be referred to as "President Obama," "Barack Obama," or simply "Obama." Calling him derogatory names (including "Barry"), attacking him with content-free insults, or parroting partisan attacks from the McCain/Palin campaign, are all disrespectful to this community as a whole. If you think that is unreasonable, then you are going to have difficulty here going forward. But if you are among the vast majority of people who criticize President Obama in a constructive and respectful manner, you have my appreciation. You are a valued member of this community.

[Can we call him "BO?"]

2. When a post is deleted, the author of the post will be able to see the text of the deleted post, and the rule it violated.

[Can I see the deleted posts? I'm missing a lot of great comedic DUFU material when you make those deletions.]

When a post is deleted, most people will still see the same old "Name removed/Deleted message" placeholder, but the author of the post will be given access to the full text of that post, along with specific rule it violated. We fully expect that this will cause some consternation from members at first. But it is obviously the right thing to do. Most importantly, it will help educate our members about the DU rules and how they are enforced. Over time, we hope this will help those of you who want to be constructive members figure out how to do so. In addition, it will let the author review the post to see the violation -- we know from experience that people will often forget the stray personal attack they added to the end of an otherwise appropriate post. And finally, it gives a powerful incentive for the moderators and administrators to double-check our work and make sure we are justified in removing a post.

[Fortunately the DUFUs were able to capture most of Pied Piper Pitt's posts before they were deleted just prior to his tombstoning.]

3. When a member has a post deleted from a thread, that member will be automatically blocked from posting again in that thread.

[Except when he has been fouled which means the ball is taken back 10 yards.]

We understand that this idea may upset some people. We understand that nobody wants to be blocked out of a discussion thread because of an honest posting mistake, and we do not want to do that to any of our members. But we believe blocking one person out of a thread is a less draconian solution than locking the entire thread so nobody can participate.

[Out of sight; out of mind. Mostly out of mind.]

We know many of you are tired of threads getting locked when the original post does not break the rules. We are tired of locking those threads. Members have long complained that under our current approach, a determined person (or group of people) can get a thread locked by repeatedly breaking the rules in the thread so it is almost impossible for the moderators to clean up after them.

[The image of moderators with pooper scoopers comes to mind.]

If someone is blocked out of a thread after their first deletion, then they have a disincentive to break the rules in the first place. Furthermore, it provides an incentive for other people to alert on rule-breaking posts so the author of those posts can be stopped from causing further damage.

[Now I am picturing moderators dressed like referees and tossing the Bolshevik Red flag into the air. PERSONAL FOUL! 10 YARDS!]

Would this always be fair? Of course not. But our sincere hope is that we could completely stop locking threads when the original post does not break the rules. We also hope that we could completely stop the practice of deleting entire sub-threads -- which often results in "innocent bystanders" having their posts removed unfairly.

[Will this also stop locking brakes?]

4. A uniform approach for dealing with frequent rule-breakers.

[More detailed than the NFL rulebook...]

Earlier this year we made a number of upgrades to our behind-the-scenes moderating system which allow the moderators to respond much more quickly to alerts. But moderators still do not have a uniform system for dealing with members who repeatedly break the rules. This needs to change.

[The DUmmie Quick Response Team...]

Going forward, members who break the rules repeatedly will be automatically brought up for regular reviews in the Moderator Forum. When this occurs, the moderators will take a look at the member's recent activity to decide whether it is appropriate to take any additional enforcement action: sending a private message, sending a warning, handing out a suspension, or banning someone outright.

[Bring Pitt back for a public auto-da-fé !]

When deciding what action is appropriate, special consideration will be given to determining whether we believe someone is, overall, a constructive and valuable member of our community. Does this person seem to like DU and its members? Does this person act as if they want DU to be a better place? Are this person's deleted posts innocent mistakes rather than malicious and deliberate? Do we think this person makes DU better for the vast majority of our visitors? Does this person have an inclusive attitude toward other members and viewpoints -- freely expressing when they disagree, but doing so with the understanding that their own point of view is not the only one that is valid or welcome here? Do we think this person is likely to improve their behavior?

[I'm thinking that Pitt will cite the above when pleading his case to be untombstoned.]

If the answer to these questions is no, then we are going to ban that person. We aren't going to waste our time with pointless warnings and suspensions to malicious malcontents that will almost certainly be ignored. If, however, we believe that someone is worth trying to "save" we will do what we can to keep them around, including handing out warnings or suspensions in hopes that the person might change their behavior.

[Ooh! You're tough, Skinner. Perhaps I should be wary in the future when describing you as a looking like a 15 year old teenager trapped in the body of a 13 year old boy.]

We hope that everyone will consider these proposals in the spirit they are offered. We believe this approach will make it easier for everyone who wishes to be a productive member of this community to do so, regardless of ideology. We all know this place is never going to be perfect. But we do have an ideal that everyone should strive for: A Democratic Underground where thoughtful discussion can take place among a broad range of progressive viewpoints, where everyone accepts that disagreements are both necessary and appropriate when they are expressed in good faith, and where problem people are dealt with in a fair and timely fashion. That is the type of community that we wish DU could be. If you agree, we'd love to have you here.

[Are you finally done. It seems you began this rules list several centuries ago. And now on to the DUmmie reactions...]

I think, minimise the rules

[Make them shorter? But how? Skinner was a brief as possible.]

I'm new but I think there's a risk of becoming too absorbed in a huge list of regulations built up over the years which can only be understood in the context of conflicts in the history of DU which newcomers are ignorant of.

[Perhaps the DUmmie Court of Appeal needs to be set up for the interpretation of Skinner's rules.]

I still think certain topics should not be buried in DU's waste bin far away from view.

[They should be allowed to ferment in the DUFU comedy distillery.]

I would like to see an explanation with the tombstones.

["Will Pitt was tombstoned for being a loudmouthed jerk for threatening physical harm on DUmmie bobolink who turned out to be a harmless, but sanity challenged, female Moonbat."]

Certain topics almost guarantee flame wars. I'd like to see a few of them gone, too.

[So long to all Obama threads.]

It had been close to unbearable to come here with all the vicious attacks against Obama. I actually thought I had redirect virus that was sending me to FreeRepublic instead of DU.

[Would you prefer a redirect virus that sends to you the DUmmie FUnnies?]

I love the clarification of the rules

[Good because I have several telephone books for you to read.]

Well, looks like the "Democratic" went out of the "Underground". .........While I believe in some of the changes it seems that any future criticizing of a Democratic President or Democratic policies (ie the healthcare reform or SS & Medicare "reforms") will be censored, uh I mean deleted. Also, there seems to be a curious timing thing here with the "changes" coming just before the November disaster, ur I mean elections. Just sayin'.

[The bitterness of your Tombstoning will be tempered by the Kewpie Doll that will be arriving in your mail.]

It's clear, DU is now about message discipline.

[Will it be a cash bar at your Tombstoning party or will the drinks be free?]

KEYWORDS: du; dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; obama; skinner
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To: PJ-Comix
Calling Barack Obama "Barry" or some other name.

Even though that's the name he used for years. Gotcha.

21 posted on 06/21/2010 1:01:59 PM PDT by nina0113
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To: PJ-Comix

22 posted on 06/21/2010 1:02:05 PM PDT by jiggyboy (Ten per cent of poll respondents are either lying or insane)
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To: nina0113
Advocating violent overthrow of the government, or harm toward high-ranking officials.

Well, THAT's certainly a new one.

Unless of course we're under a Republican administration. Then you can call for a violent downfall and the shooting/hanging/burning/murder of its' leaders to your heart's content!

Why? Because we all know...unless you're a progressive lefty Democrat, you are unworthy of free speech!

23 posted on 06/21/2010 1:03:25 PM PDT by hoagy62 (.)
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To: jiggyboy

“Obsolete! Obsolete! Obsolete!”

24 posted on 06/21/2010 1:04:10 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: PJ-Comix

To many rules. Just give it to them with BOTH barrels.

25 posted on 06/21/2010 1:05:09 PM PDT by jongaltsr (It)
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To: PJ-Comix

Oh it’s hillarious...

The tombstoned dummies gather at the “oldelmtree”...

26 posted on 06/21/2010 1:06:27 PM PDT by Crim (The Obama Doctrine : A doctrine based on complete ignorance,applied with extreme incompitence..)
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To: PJ-Comix

I guess this also means that TOTUS and Chairman Mao-bama are going to become improper means of expression over there.

What is the world coming to in internet discussion.

27 posted on 06/21/2010 1:06:54 PM PDT by KC Burke
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To: PJ-Comix

Barry is a an idiot.....oops!

28 posted on 06/21/2010 1:07:20 PM PDT by Dallas59 (President Robert Gibbs 2009-2013)
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To: PJ-Comix

Into the top 30 like a snail with a jetpack!

29 posted on 06/21/2010 1:17:52 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback (Vuvuzela: The ancient, traditional, injection-molded polystyrene horn of the Zulu people.--Wideawake)
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To: PJ-Comix

Skinner forgot the part where you put your left foot in, take your left foot out, put your left foot in and shake it all about.

30 posted on 06/21/2010 1:20:22 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback (Vuvuzela: The ancient, traditional, injection-molded polystyrene horn of the Zulu people.--Wideawake)
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To: PJ-Comix
The new list of DU rules.

Rule one - only pooftahs.
Rule two - no member of DU is to maltreat the Obamas in any way whatsoever - if there's anybody watching.
Rule three - only pooftahs.
Rule four - I don't want to catch anyone not hating George W. Bush.
Rule five - only pooftahs.
Rule six - there is no rule six! Rule six is only for Lousy Freeper Trolls.
Rule seven - only pooftahs.

That concludes the reading of the rules, Bruce.

31 posted on 06/21/2010 1:29:28 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (I am so immune to satire that I ate three Irish children after reading Swift's "A Modest Proposal")
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To: PJ-Comix
{ } Inflammatory, inappropriate, or over-the-top

- Sexually explicit content.

Benburch is deeply saddened by this new rule......

32 posted on 06/21/2010 1:34:20 PM PDT by doorgunner69
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To: All

the Left are indeed fascists...

33 posted on 06/21/2010 1:42:01 PM PDT by Maverick68
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To: PJ-Comix

This clown could have made it very simple. Just pass a rule that NO facts or truth are permitted on the site. That would cover it all!!

34 posted on 06/21/2010 1:44:09 PM PDT by Oldpuppymax
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To: PJ-Comix

So, no link for

35 posted on 06/21/2010 1:46:25 PM PDT by Mark (Don't argue with my posts. I typed while under sniper fire..)
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To: PJ-Comix

We will not tolerate dissent!

You vill schpeak kindtly uffduh Fuhrer, or you vill face dee conseqvences.

So much for the “Underground” part.

Sucks to be a DUmmie.

36 posted on 06/21/2010 1:48:46 PM PDT by Boucheau
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To: PJ-Comix

Scratch a liberal, find a fascist.

Every time.

37 posted on 06/21/2010 1:51:21 PM PDT by Ramius (Personally, I give us... one chance in three. More tea?)
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To: PJ-Comix
The problems we face are extraordinarily complicated, and despite (or perhaps because of) nearly a decade of administering this site we tend to be fairly skeptical of our own ability to effect broad-based changes that will improve DU for the majority of our members.

Now, if only they could be some skeptical of the government's (and Barry's) ability to effect "broad-based changes" that will "improve" America and the world.

And if only pigs could fly.

38 posted on 06/21/2010 1:53:59 PM PDT by chesley (Lib arguments are neither factual, logical, rational, nor reasonable. They are, however, creative.)
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To: PJ-Comix

OK, I admit that my eyes crossed about 1/3 of the way down the list but by that time I saw that DU has now outlawed all of their posts.


39 posted on 06/21/2010 1:58:42 PM PDT by dangerdoc
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To: PJ-Comix

This is hysterical.

It’s just how liberals want to run America. Control everything people do and say.

Methinks DU is going to explode over this.

40 posted on 06/21/2010 2:06:04 PM PDT by I still care (I believe in the universality of freedom -George Bush, asked if he regrets going to war.)
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