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DUmmie FUnnies 11-08-11 (Pied Piper Pitt: "Woke up this morning just covered in Fail.")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | November 8, 2011 | William Rivers Pitt and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 11/08/2011 8:19:32 AM PST by Charles Henrickson

William Rivers Pitt: Citizen. Journalist. Activist. International best-selling author. Bouncer at Bukowski's. Pied Piper of DUmmieland. Where Mr. Pitt leads, the DUmmies will surely follow.

And the Magic Man always leads by example. He stood up next to a mountain with Andy. He stood in a ditch with Mother Sheehan, braving furious fire ants for, oh, a good ten, fifteen minutes. William Pitt the Bolder nailed the Downing Street Memos to the White House door, at least mentally, on the Day When Everything Finally Changed. And Journalist Pitt BROKE the Fitzmas scoop on the Rove sealed indictment when no one else would touch it! Yes, if there is truth to be spoken to power, William Rivers Pitt will be OUT THERE, leading the charge!

Now, as we count down the 24 business hours until the Ninth of November, when a grateful nation celebrates the 40th anniversary of the Nativity of William the Conjurer, it is thrilling to see Mr. Pitt spring into action once again, leading the way for the rest of us, in the Righteous Cause DU Jour, namely, the mighty Occupy movement.

But the road to reform is strewn with setbacks, as William seems to be indicating by the title of this THREAD, "Woke up this morning just covered in Fail."

So let us now find out what has happened to Mr. Pitt to cause him such distress, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, wondering how the OccupAnts will honor Pitt on his 40th birthday for leading the way for them--for us!--is in the [brackets]:

Woke up this morning just covered in Fail.

[Oh, dear William, pray, tell us, what ill has befallen you in your STRUGGLE for truth and justice? I know. It must be those D*MN Rethuglicans!]

My father went to the University of Alabama. . . .

[Hmm. This must have something to do with the principles of progress and social justice that your dear pater learned at that august institution and then instilled, lovingly, in you. I see, I see.]

My father went to the University of Alabama, so I am a Tide fan.

[Huh? Wha?]

Fail.

[Football? You're squawking about FOOTBALL??]

My wife is from Pittsburgh, and is a Steelers fan. Fail.

[Now you're upset about YOUR WIFE'S FOOTBALL TEAM??? Here I thought this would be about how the jackbooted thug police were persecuting you as you stood on the front lines of the Occupy protest, leading the way in the global revolution! The Pittsburgh Steelers?? Really?? What about the Wall Street Stealers?!]

I am from New England, and am a Patriots fan. Big Fat Hairy 18-1 Flashbacking Tyree F*** Sh*t @$$ B*lls G*d D*mn It Anyway FAIL.

[My asterisk key is getting low.]

Gonna be one of those weeks when I have to avoid Sportscenter at all costs.

[Why are you avoiding THE OCCUPY PROTESTS at all costs??]

I had a deep rooting interest in what were arguably the three biggest games of the weekend. . . .

[OccupiedWillPitt was just too busy to be bothered with anything else. William, what about your "deep rooting interest" in rooting out the root causes of ECONOMIC INJUSTICE, my friend? Why aren't you out there, standing shoulder to shoulder with your sisters and brothers on the front lines? Have you become Hiding Hypocrite Pitt?]

in every instance, in every game, one after the other after the other...Screwn.

[Your Occupy comrades...Screwn. By yewn.]

It isn't just the weekend's serial defeats, so much as it is the manner in which they came to pass. An LSU field goal in OT after a magnificent defensive struggle...an Eli Manning thunderclap of a drive with a minute left on the clock...and Joe Fa Chr*ssakes Flacco drives the field against a Steelers D that's only old on paper and throws a strike to win with eight seconds left? Yeah. That happened.

[OccuPied Piper Pitt sat home with his recliner and remote while his fellow Progs endured beatdowns and pepper gas. Yeah. That happened.]

Yes yes yes, poor me and my three Super Bowls, two World Series wins, one NBA championship and an unutterably satisfying Stanley Cup victory...which makes...let me see...yeah, that's seven championship parades down Boylston Street in the last ten years (plus a 'Bama win tucked in there for good measure)...poor faaaaahkin' me.

[Poor Couch Potato Pitt.]

But d*mn, man. D*mn d*mn d*mn. It is a surly Monday morning in the Pitt compound.

[Don't worry, Will! Wednesday will be a BIRTHDAY morning in the Pitt compound! Let you eat cake!]

Before yesterday, the Bills had scored more points than any team in the AFC, including my vaunted Patriots. The Bills also have the most INTs (a number Sanchise added to), and a very respectable defense overall. That was no cupcake team the Jets beat yesterday.

[This is no cupcake you will eat tomorrow. It will be BIRTHDAY CAKE! FORTY CANDLES, WILLIAM! FOUR-OH! YIPPEE!!]

NFC? It's a torturous stretch to rah-rah for the Steelers, but I do it for my wife. I'm not crossing that particular Rubicon. . . .

[Will with a hat-tip there to Rubicon-crossing nadinbrzezinski.]

I went to Holy Cross. We rooted for BC whenever they played ND. How's that for divided loyalties?

[Staying at home watching sports in the comfort of your Barcalounger while your fellow activists are out there, literally DYING--well, figuratively literally dying--dying for The Cause. . . . How's THAT for divided loyalties? Happy Birthday, Mr. Pitt!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; pitt; williamriverspitt
Remember, remember the Ninth of November, the Nativity of William Rivers Pitt.


1 posted on 11/08/2011 8:19:40 AM PST by Charles Henrickson
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

Pied Piper PING!


2 posted on 11/08/2011 8:22:37 AM PST by Charles Henrickson (OccupiedWillPitt.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Wait until November 2012 and fail will be a continuing theme in Pitt’s life.


3 posted on 11/08/2011 8:23:58 AM PST by Mikey_1962 (Obama: The Affirmative Action President.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top ten!


4 posted on 11/08/2011 8:26:31 AM PST by BattleHymn
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top 10!


5 posted on 11/08/2011 8:30:41 AM PST by Spirit of Liberty (http://www.honorflight.org/)
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Comment #6 Removed by Moderator

To: Charles Henrickson

Woke up this morning
(da-da-da-da-dah)
All covered in fail
(da-da-da-da-dah)
I think about football
(da-da-da-da-dah)
While my friends are in jail


7 posted on 11/08/2011 8:33:39 AM PST by freedomlover (Make sure you're in love - before you move in the heavy stuff)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Geaux Tigers!


8 posted on 11/08/2011 8:38:04 AM PST by Melpomene (Proud member of the Who Dat nation.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

The Tide had a flat.

Top 10?


9 posted on 11/08/2011 8:38:41 AM PST by Ole Okie (Go Herman!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I am a Packers fan. 8-0, BTW. I have no sympathy for WRP. That’s the breaks, Bucko.


10 posted on 11/08/2011 8:47:06 AM PST by bcsco (A vote for Cain will cure the Pain!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
My father went to the University of Alabama, so I am a Tide fan.

OH GAWD, NO!!!!!!!

11 posted on 11/08/2011 9:09:35 AM PST by chesley (Eat what you want, and die like a man. Never trust anyone who hasn't been punched in the face)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Since `Obamaville Boston` is in my neighborhood, I figured I`d see Pitt holding court every night on the way to work, but no go! I see some skinny, angry gals and fat furry angry guys standing around, but I must keep missing Pitt when he takes the Red Line over to Bukowski`s. [I know he wouldn`t go to the one over by the Boston Public Library neck of the woods.] He`s probably in the command committee tent, plotting strategy.


12 posted on 11/08/2011 9:17:55 AM PST by Darkwolf377 (Obama: The stupid person`s idea of a smart person.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Woke up this morning just covered in Fail

Vs. waking up in an OWS encampment surrounded by (human) offal...

13 posted on 11/08/2011 9:25:08 AM PST by mikrofon (Fail either way.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
My father went to the University of Alabama, so

my opinions here change along with the Tide....

14 posted on 11/08/2011 9:30:34 AM PST by mikrofon (Wishy-Washy)
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To: Charles Henrickson

You have to, have to, do a DUmmies Funnies about how the chicago traders dumped McDoanlds apps on the protesters......LOL.


15 posted on 11/08/2011 9:35:54 AM PST by Sonny M ("oderint dum metuant")
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To: Charles Henrickson
The Bills also have the most INTs (a number Sanchise added to)

Is that a distant relative of Cochise? Doesn't he play for the Redskins??

16 posted on 11/08/2011 9:36:46 AM PST by mikrofon (Sports Bar[fly] "expert" WRP)
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To: Charles Henrickson

LOL, this actually humanizes him a bit. I have weekends like that. I like to say that the “football gods” were not happy with me.


17 posted on 11/08/2011 10:54:40 AM PST by Paradox (The rich SHOULD be paying more taxes, and they WOULD, if they could make more money.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Remember, remember the Ninth of November,
the Nativity of William Rivers Pitt.

...there is no reason
In this year and season
Why anyone should give a s***.

[Not dissing you, CH - just finishing the poem.]

18 posted on 11/08/2011 11:10:43 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Geez, who’s the porker with the tatoo behind him?


19 posted on 11/08/2011 11:27:12 AM PST by doorgunner69
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To: Charles Henrickson
I went to Holy Cross. We rooted for BC whenever they played ND. How's that for divided loyalties?

A LIBERAL holy Cross (catholic university) alum?? My Gosh... (BC overrated D-1A football team in New England!!) GO UCONN!!!!

20 posted on 11/08/2011 11:28:51 AM PST by ExCTCitizen (Cain/West 2012....what would the RACISTS LIBERALS say???)
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To: doorgunner69

Mrs Pitt.


21 posted on 11/08/2011 11:36:51 AM PST by Slings and Arrows (You can't have Ingsoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
[Why are you avoiding THE OCCUPY PROTESTS at all costs??]

Good question. I am still mystified as to why Pitt has FAILED to attend any OWS protest. Any theories on this out there?

22 posted on 11/08/2011 3:32:32 PM PST by PJ-Comix (Free Depends for OWS Protesters)
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To: Charles Henrickson

May his fail be epic. What am I saying, it already is.


23 posted on 11/08/2011 7:07:45 PM PST by rdl6989 (January 20, 2013 The end of an error.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Woke up this morning just covered in Fail.
'This morning'?. Don't you mean every morning Willie?

Your whole life is one big FAIL. 40 years old and no career, and no job. You're a pathetic LOSER.

24 posted on 11/09/2011 4:13:43 AM PST by Condor51 (Yo Hoffa, so you want to 'take out conservatives'. Well okay Jr - I'm your Huckleberry)
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To: Condor51

His wife supports him for some odd reason.


25 posted on 11/16/2011 12:03:20 PM PST by arrogantsob (Obama must Go.)
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