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Posted on 08/09/2014 12:28:00 PM PDT by John Semmens
Anthony Weiner, the former Democratic Congressman who gained wide notoriety by tweeting photos of his genitalia is ready to open a new chapter in his life. Spotting what he characterized as “an unfilled niche in the marketplace,” the ex-pol is set to embark upon a restaurant venture in the Queens borough of New York City.
“The wiener, or hot dog, is an under appreciated delicacy,” Weiner maintains. “Too often it is relegated to street corner carts where it is hastily prepared, topped with pedestrian condiments, and carelessly scarfed down by the palate-challenged troglodytes who walk our streets.”
“At Chez Weiner we will introduce diners to a truly gourmet experience,” Weiner boasted. “Instead of having to settle for a squirt of mustard or ketchup on their meat our patrons will have an array of classic choices with which to garnish their wieners. My own personal favorite is the foot-long dog tipped with a creamy Alfredo sauce, but we will also have Bearnaise, Béchamel, Velouté, Espagnole, Hollandaise, and tomato bisque along with ‘chef’s surprise’ toppings for special occasions.”
“The menu won’t be circumscribed to solely wieners,” Weiner promised. “There will be a variety of drool-worthy bratwurst, kielbasa and other sausage-like options, we think will go down easy.”
Weiner said he expects to make heavy use of social media to promote his venture. “If I’ve learned anything from past experience it’s that whatever you put out there on Twitter goes a lot farther than you originally anticipated,” Weiner observed. “Once I show people what I’ve got I’m confident they’ll come and get it.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
http://azconservative.org/2014/08/08/obama-eyes-emancipation-proclamation-as-model-for-amnesty-executive-order/
I’ve never seen a brat wurst than him.
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How I WISH this one were true.
I have to say, he could possibly succeed beautifully with this. America is weird this way. Maybe even Monica Lewinsky could have made a zillion off Weiner carts proclaiming: “I know weiners and I’ve never known a better one!” Her business could be named “The First Weiner” or even “El Presidente Hot Dogs.”
You own it, and America respects you for at least that.
I don’t suppose in my lifetime there will ever be a better headline generator than the Weiner scandal. Talk about side splitting. I’m glad I lived to experience it. The headlines, not the Weiner.
I’m trying to find the humor in this & all I’m getting is queasy. We *were* going to have chili dogs for dinner.
Not today.
Just be sure you know what the MEAT really is.
After all this is TONY DER SHNITZEL that John is talking about here.
Unless you're an underage girl with a twitter account.
We have a wiener!
John, you outdid yourself in garnishing that piece with truly delicious double entendres
One long time customer was relating how a moile showed up one day to do his thing on a new Shopsin, and was none too pleased to see a ham on the counter, and an argument ensued.
The guy said that there were jokes the rest of the day about who got a piece of the piece of the baby in their meal from the P.O. chef and owner, Kenny Shopsin.
Have two, they’re small.
The true story that inspired John...
http://m.eater.com/archives/2014/08/08/disgraced-politician-anthony-weiner-to-open-a-restaurant-in-new-york.php
Served with sauerkraut, mustard, pickles, and onions, and only19.99, plus tax, plus tax, plus tax.
vaudine
bttt
Named “Antony’s Weiners”, right?
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