Don't tempt me with naughty ideas, you know I like to misbehave.
Man Hillary is HOT!
Posted on 03/26/2015 8:28:18 PM PDT by 2ndDivisionVet
After Texas senator Ted Cruz announced his intention to run for president on Monday, I was pleased with my Republican friends' response to this news.
It's not often that college-aged liberals and conservatives roll their eyes in unison, but that appeared to happen when that boob asked his Liberty University audience to imagine an America where "young people (come) out of school with four, five, six job offers."
This was nice, this shared derisive response to Ted Cruz and his astounding senselessness. I like it when we all can agree on things.
But then I thought of all the times when we really can't agree — the bad times when I consider deleting a few Facebook friends and the even worse times when delivering a sack of feces to someone's door or slicing off my own nipple in protest seem to be the best options.
For example, I'm so sick of same-sex marriage talk. At this point, people who oppose it are kind of wasting their time. It's basically the Motorola flip phone of talking points. I was once voted "Most Likely to Champion for Divorce Equality," and that's pretty much where I currently stand on this issue.
But still there are some really important issues that come up, some really emotionally charged debates that actually make me angry.
Nothing gets my uterus in a wad faster than hearing a waiting-'til-marriage Young Republican talk about saving unborn lives. And don't get me started on Israel. I recently noticed a "Made in Israel" label on my generic brand Allegra bottle, and I've dreamt of Palestinian children and extreme congestion ever since.
These red hot buttons get everyone fired up, and sometimes it's hard to figure out who are the sheep, the trolls or the sheep in troll's clothing.
So why do I keep them around? Why be friends with conservatives?
Have you ever sniffed your own armpit, decided it was stinky and then sniffed it again with an insatiable and morbid curiosity? That's why I have conservative friends. I like to keep sniffin' 'em long after I've become familiar with the smell.
As if they were a stars and stripes-clad, unicycle-riding clown holding a megaphone and rolling down the street, you really can't look away.
And there's another thing. I love my more conservative friends, even the most annoying, because I was once among them. The hypocrisy of ditching them at this point would make me feel just as guilty as my Made-in-Israel allergy medicine.
Confession time: I was once a card-carrying member of the NRA, even though I've only shot a gun one time when my junior prom date gave me a lesson. His dad made us schnitzel after. It was nice.
And I'm still on the College Republicans email list — a remnant of my freshman days — despite repeated attempts to have myself removed with direct appeals to the past two presidents.
Also I voted for Gary Johnson in 2012. Whatever.
And really, what are the real differences between liberals and conservatives anyway? Besides flame-resistant bras, fat pockets and a little extra racism on the side?
When you spend as much time on Facebook as I do and an old friend's ex boyfriend (why hasn't he been deleted yet?) posts about the Antichristic Obama and you think it's ClickHole at first and you like it without proper consideration: well, that's how you know it's true — life imitates art.
It's also how you know that we are all the same: parodies of ourselves, obsessive and egotistical and opinionated, at times an insult to any notion of true human progress and guilty of being susceptible to mind-numbing propaganda — or else ruthlessly dedicated to an assertive sort of apathy, perhaps the most obnoxious quality of all.
A friend of mine — a conservative friend, no less — once told me that we hate those who embody qualities we fear we may ourselves possess. When I see the pro-lifers on campus with their massive mangled fetus photos or hear someone say "guns don't kill people, people kill people," I can't help but wonder if I'm just as annoying when I'm all like "we should probably do something about global climate change."
No, this is not necessarily a call for bipartisanship or reaching across the aisle or anything like that, I'm just trying to tell it like it is.
Truthfully, we are all sheep, though some of us wear troll's clothing, and we all suffer from hating each other.
Vote Hillary in 2016!
I understand. Thanks for sharing.
Don't tempt me with naughty ideas, you know I like to misbehave.
Man Hillary is HOT!
Click pic for song.
Ol Crusty (is) is hot!
Ol Crusty (is) is hot!
Umm... how do I put this delicately...
NO...
NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO....
There ain’t enough bleach in the world to burn that imagery outta my eyes...
In a nutshell:
Conservatives - Equality of opportunity
Liberals - Equality of outcome
Awww, Chuck....
“...Bednarik flew 30 bombing missions over Germany as a B-24 waist gunner...”
A WWII vet, like my old man and his brothers...
What an amazing generation of Americans. Sorely missed.
CHUCK BEDNARIK: AMERICAN HERO
Her FB friends are all praising her for her wonderful writing.
Looking for love in all the wrong places.
Squeal for me, just like a hog.
I had you pegged for soviet Red Hampshire. Oh, well...close, but no cigar.
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