You might be a redneck if you still think Foxworthy's insulting act is humorous.
Yur idea of a really making a difference involves cardboard signs & slogans.
Your wardrobe has at least 12 multicolor button-down shirts or blouses.
You have as much w(h)ine as Jaques Cherac.
You think Fidel is simply misunderstood.
You actually use the term “significant other” in a sentence.
The Village People look like the folks at your last cocktail party.
You actually use the term “cocktail party” in a sentence.
You get nervous being more than 75 miles from the ocean or large river.
You say “how do people live like that” at least once a week.
Your biggest fear is walking into or being seen in a “Tavern”.
Walmart represents the biggest threat to your area.
You have to use a pass-key just to get into your neighborhood or building.
Friends and family are equally important to you.
Mardi Gras costumes don’t seem outrageous at all.
You have more rocks on your fingers than in your head.
You have more rings on your body than on your fingers.
College Professors actually seem interesting to you.
Your surroundings are defined as “Zen”.
An art gallery tour takes you more than 12.5 minutes.
Your Spiritual Advisor has a crystal ball.
You think there may actually be a need for tinfoil headwear.
Vallet is a necessity, not a treat.
How you are perceived is far more important than what you perceive of others.
Somebody else actually physically touches your money.
Your idea of fashion is what someone else of prominence thinks of it first.
Your answering service is not a machine but a person.
You get slightly nervous simply changing planes in the Midwest.
You often use the term “Global” (anything) at least once a day.
You’ve often thought of, but never have quite use the term “Little People”.
If you've never, actually, studied the United States Constitution, but you know for certain that it contains the words: "the separation of church and state".
You believe the 2nd. Amendment to the Bill of Rights is to insure that the federal government can't take your states National Guard and police weapons from them. (and besides, you're scared of what you might do with a gun if you had one. Self control is certainly a "Blue" issue).
You think that if the National Endowment of the Arts doesn't give you, or your drug addled son, a grant of taxpayers money to photograph religious icons in sewage, that your 1st. Amendment rights are being denied.
You believe in "Collective Rights" and the possibility of the "Living Dead".
You might be a Blue~Neck if:
You ride a Seg-Way down your driveway to enter an awaiting limo.
You think nothing of the Fossil Fuels polluting the atmosphere as you leave the limo and enter an empty Gates LearJet to fly to the Hamptons for the weekend.
You look down at all those huge square pathes of green corn and beige grain and wonder what they are.
You have a Banker who's a Jew. A Landscaper who's Mexican. A Guatamalan Housekeeper. A Salvadoran Nanny. Your hairdresser is a Trans~sexual. Your Fitness Instructor is a Bull Dyke. Your Lawyer is Chicano. And you think yourself "In Touch With Diversity".
You firmly believe that throwing more money at the Education System will teach your six year old how to properly spell "Cat".
Jack.
You might be a Blueneck if...
You think a "roid" is an itching or painful mass of dilated veins in swollen @#$@ tissue...
1. You think Jon Stewart is a genius.
2. You go out of your way to use the phrase "African American," but call the cops when you see one walking in your neighborhood.
3. You are in Pottery Barn or Williams Sonoma more than twice a month.
4. You actually enjoy traveling to France.
5. You think "France and Germany" constitute "world opinion."
You say: "It's wrong to be judgemental."
You support Darwin's survival of the fittest but don't think any species should become extinct.
You build a ski resort on 6,000 pristine acres at the base of 12,000 ft. Mount Timpanogos in the north fork of Provo Canyon.
Then you become the spokesman for "save the ecology."
Robert Redford should change his name to Robert Blueneck!
You might be a Blueneck if - -
You think Starbucks lattes are a necessity of life.
A ten-thousand dollar designer dress sounds logical to you, or perhaps even on the "cheap" side.
You finally decide, like Hillary to consider washroom attendants as actually "human beings".
You consider people who live with only one bathroom in their house as "underprivileged".
You are getting really excited about Donald Trump's upcoming wedding. . or
Perhaps even are wishing YOU were the bride . . and
You are a man . . .
You might be a blueneck if you don't get redneck jokes
You might be a blueneck if you are cursing the use of fossil fuels the snow blowers are using to clear your streets.
Why,... that's what the illegal workforce is for!!
If you are shocked at the conduct of the Iraq war, but supported Clinton's bombing civilian targets in Yugoslavia, you could be a blueneck.
If you are opposed to any restraint on pornography as being an infringement on freedom of expression, and support the removal of Christianity and the Bible from the public arena, you might be a blueneck.
If you feel that the Patriot Act and the Department of Homeland Security are unprecedented threats to the Constitution, yet are all for expanding the powers of Child Protective Services to break up families on the basis of anonymous, unsubstantiated reports, you could be a blueneck.
If you believe there is no reason for civilians to own firearms, yet you use your political influence to get a pistol license in your anti-Second Amendment state, you may just be a blueneck.
If you favor ever harsher measures to restrict cigarette smoking, yet your humidor is filled with expensive cigars, or, alternatively, you use "recreational drugs," you might just be a blueneck.
If you support homosexual partners adopting children, yet want Christian families thoroughly investigated before they do so, face it, you are a blueneck.
You might be a Blueneck if:
You fear the pajama-clad rebels.
You think people with screen names like sangha, sangh0, iverglas, nothingshocksmeanymore, skinner, elad, and mopaul actually make sense.
You might be a blueneck.
If you think Jesse Jackson cares about Civil Rights --
You might be a blueneck.
If you fret about the meaning of "is" --
You might be a blueneck.
If you believe that President Bush "Made it [9/11/01] Happen On Purpose (MIHOP)",
You might be a blueneck.
If you believe that Flight Number 77 did not fly into the Pentagon on 9/11/01, but instead was escorted by Navy fighters out over the Atlantic Ocean, and made to crash, and further believe that the Navy sent one or two missles into the Pentagon,
You -- for sure -- are a blueneck.
If you think that Michael Moore is a great film-maker and that Al Franken is funny,
You are definitely a blueneck.
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1328277/posts
You most likely are a Blueneck.
You are most likely a Blueneck.