Posted on 03/25/2005 8:16:07 AM PST by TheBigB
Geez...the next one is better than the last! I gotta get crackin'...I can see I'm on the silliness thread!
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A Belarussian military instructor plays with her dog in a frontier guards' cynology center near the town of Smorgon, some 140 km north-west of Minsk, March 23, 2005. Every year the center prepares more than one hundred instructors with trained dogs for guarding Belarus' border. Reuters/Vasily Fedosenko |
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LITTLE TONY ON GETTING OLDER
Little TONY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said,
"Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat"
Little TONY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
Little TONY answered, "No, he minded his own f****** business.
Have fun? On Good Friday? While Terri Schiavo is dying with the approval of the majority of Americans?
Ok, it´s your birthday, I wish you well! But please understand, that this isn´t a happy day for many people.
God bless you!
Yup. Not a whole lot passed over my plate untouched.
Virgin son ask his shy father what to do on his wedding night.
Father replies "Well son, you take the long thing you used to play with and put it where she pees."
Later that evening, a confused bride wonders why there is a baseball bat in the toilet.
Senility Prayer
God grant me
The senility to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to run into the ones That I do like,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.
To all who have found it difficult to be happy this week I have a thought that may bring a smile to your face.
In my view of heaven, Terri will be allowed to be president when G-d is interviewing Michael.
And she WILL be able to speak.
Shalom.
Thanks for the PBS cartoon.
ROTFLOL! I love your pics!
HI Jet!
We are sad about Terri, but unfortunately it appears that no one is going to stop this horror. But, you have to let loose and laugh for a little bit or it is going to eat you up. Through the laughter we are trying to deal with the injustice and heal the wounds that have been ripped into us by judicial tyranny.
Happy Birthday!
I'm the same way. Everyone else gets food poisoning and I'm ready for a second helping.
Took care of your light work earlier and forgot to ping you.
How To Sell Lawnmowers
A young man just got a new job running the register at a store. The old-timer said he would teach him how to sell things. "Watch how I do it" he said to the new hire as a man came up to the counter.
The customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter. The old-timer then said to him "You know when you plant those seeds and the grass starts growing you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut that grass." "You know," said the man, "I do need to get a new mower, sure I'll take one."
After the customer left, the new kid said, "I think I see what you mean. Let me handle this next one." A man then stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young salesman then said, "You know you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that."
The man then asked the young salesman, "What are you talking about?" "Well," he said, "It looks like your weekend's shot so you might as well cut the grass!"
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