Skip to comments.Know Any Good Hillary Jokes?
Posted on 10/23/2007 6:00:43 PM PDT by cradle of freedom
Does anyone know any good Hillary Clinton jokes?
Well, Hillary is a joke - for starters.
Answer: Hillary Rodham Clinton
Yes: She is qualified to be President of the United States.
yes, but none that I can post here because of the posting guidelines...
hillary clinton is no laughing matter.
Hillary plane crashed and she died and went straight to hell.
The Devil scream in fright “Everyone stop messing around and get to work the Boss just showed up!”
Does that count?
No, I did not originate this....
Dear Abby, My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What’s worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn’t even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and bullshit with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn’t even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do? Signed: Clueless
Dear Clueless, Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don’t need him anymore! You’re a United States Senator from New York running for President of the United States. Act like one! “
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton, on an airliner bound for Texas, finds herself seated next to an older, weathered man in a western snap shirt, faded jeans, and a cowboy hat. Thinking herself above the old cowboy, she decides to make sport of him.
“You know,” she says, “I’ve heard these flights go much more quickly if you strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger. So, let’s talk.”
The cowboy looks at her wryly and says, “Well I s’pose that’d be all right, m’am. What’d ya like to discuss?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” says Hillary with a slight hint of sarcasm.
“How about Iraq?”
“Hmm,” says the cowboy, sensing an attempt to perhaps belittle him, “That could be an interesting topic.
But let me ask you a question first:”Horses, cows, and deer all eat the same stuff—grass. Yet a deer passes little pellets, a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse makes muffins of dried poop. Why do you suppose that is?”
Dumbfounded, Senator Clinton replies, “Sir, I haven’t the slightest idea.”
“So tell me, then,” says the cowboy with a smile. “How is it that you feel qualified to discuss Iraq when you don’t know $hi*?”
He replies "Oh, some terrorists have captured Hillary Clinton and are threatening to douse her with gasoline and set her on fire if we don't raise a million bucks."
"So how much is everyone donating?"
"Oh, about a gallon."
Bill Clinton walks off of Air Force One carrying a puppy. One of the secret service guys says, "Nice dog sir."
Sick Willy replies, "Thanks, I got it for Hillary."
The Secret Service guy replies, "Nice trade sir."
She is a humorless shell of a person with a brainwashed brain from socialist “mentors.”
‘Nuff said. G’night!
"Close, but no cigar."
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at a Yankees game. Before the game began a secret service man came up to him and whispered in his ear.
Bill Clinton suddenly picked up Hillary and threw her out on the field. The secret service man came running up to him and said, "Mr. President Sir, I think you misunderstood me; I said throw out the first pitch."
JOKE: "A socialist, a communist, and a liar walk into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender replies: "Hi Hillary!"
I like the one Rush told years ago.
Rush and Hillary are in an elevator and Hillary says to Rush, “make me a woman”. Rush says, “ok” Takes off his close and says, “here wash these”.
Bill Clinton gets off the Presidential helicopter, Marine I, carrying a genuine Arkansas Razorback Hog under each arm...he bolts down the steps and stops at the bottom and turns to the Marine standing at attention... ..and asks “whaddaya think of these fine hogs..I got one for Hillary and one for Chelsea”.....”fine trade, sir” responds the Marine as he salutes the Philanderer in Chief....
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