****The Official Friday Silliness Thread****

[Lucky9teen]

The 10 Most Disappointing Treats for Trick-or-Treaters
On Halloween night, some houses struggle with the idea of candy. There are good houses, and there are bad houses. The best trick-or-treaters know to avoid the latter. At the food site Serious Eats, we all love Halloween, but wish certain homes would just stop handing out the classically bad "treats." They weren't good last year, the year before that, or now. Our own Erin Zimmer put together this list of our top 10 Halloween treats that nobody wants...

	Toothbrushes Dentists and orthodontists should not be allowed to celebrate Halloween if they're going to get all tooth doctory on us. Do not bring your work home with you, folks! We all have a personal responsibility to brush, and maybe some of us will forget, but your complimentary bristles on a stick (instead of a Snickers) will not help us remember. It will make us despise you and your trade.
Raisins Little boxes of stuck-together shriveled globs are not what little kids schlep around the neighborhood for all night. When they say trick-or-treat, they want candy that will rot their teeth, not wrinkled grapes.  (Using an empty box as a kazoo-like instrument, though, is kinda fun.)
	Candy Corn The most polarizing candy of all. The fruitcake of Halloween; it just never goes away. If you love them, fine. But don't subject the rest of us haters to the sickeningly sweet triangle that tastes like neither candy nor corn.
Smarties and Necco Wafers These chalky candies are supposedly "fruit-flavored," but no fruit I know tastes like dust -- and makes everything eaten after taste like dust, too.
	Dum Dum Lollipops Usually, foods on a stick are yummy (corn dogs, ice pops), but Dum Dums just can't be included on that list. Not even if they were breaded and deep-fried and served at a fair.
Apples Long before "poisoned candy" scares, evil people were handing out apples instead of candy on Halloween. This disappointing "treat" is the main reason to avoid unwrapped food while trick-or-treating.
	Tootsie Rolls It looks like chocolate and sort of smells like chocolate, but the mini brown tubes are not real chocolate. They taste like watered-down chocolate, and have a chewy texture that will strip the fillings right off your molars.
Miscellaneous, Wrapped Hard Candies Halloween is supposed to be a holiday for young people, not senior citizens who suck on hard candies all day. Something about the strawberry-shaped strawberries, gold-wrapped butterscotch, and peppermint feels past the expiration date. (These usually get set aside for Granny.)
	Laffy Taffy I do not laffy when I get these. I sobby. I get depressedy. Because it gets all stucky to my teethy and doesn't even taste that goody.
Anything Fun-Sized Who started calling it this? Since when is one bite fun?! Give us the rich houses with the sprawling driveways and full-sized candy bars any day. Portion control doesn't need to start this young.

[lilylangtree]

I don’t have any trick’r treaters so I don’t buy any candy or decorate anywhere. However, see the attached site below and decorate your own pumpkin cyberstyle.

http://www.alighthouse.com/pumpkinpatch.htm

[Bean Counter]

[Arrowhead1952]

Seeing this reminds me of a joke.

A wife and hubby were handing out candy and cookies at the door on Halloween. After several kids had been by, there was a cute little girl in an angel outfit at the door.

As the hubsand opened the door, the little girl said "Twik or tweet?" The husband called the wife and said "Look at the little angel honey". Say it again kiddo.

So the little girl again said "Twik or tweet?"

The husband said, "Honey, get her something special, not that stuff we been giving the other kids".

So the wife came back to the door with a big red apple. "Open your bag you little angel".

So the wife dropped the apple into the bag. The little girl looked into the bag and said "Big deal - the apple. You broke my f****** cookies".

[Arrowhead1952]

To make it real easy, copy and past my tagline without the ( & ) into the reply. From #21 above.

()

[CSM]

AWESOME!

[Travis T. OJustice]

IMMIGRANT STYLE

An illegal immigrant picks up a hooker. ‘Hey, how much you charge for da hour, sister?’ he asks.

‘$100,’ she replies.

In broken English he says ‘Do you do Immigrant Style?’

‘No’ she says.

‘I pay you $200 to do Immigrant Style.’

‘No’, she says, not knowing what Immigrant Style is.

‘I pay you $300.’

‘No’, she says.

‘I pay you $400.’

‘No’, she says.

So finally he says, ‘OK, I pay $1,000 to do Immigrant Style.’

She thinks, ‘Well, I’ve been in the game for over 10 years now. I’ve had every kind of request from weirdos from every part of the world. How bad could Immigrant Style be?’’.

So she agrees and has sex with him. They do it in every kind of way and in every possible position. Finally, after several hours, they finish.

Exhausted, the hooker turns to him and says, ‘Hey, I was expecting something perverted and disgusting. But that was good. So what exactly is ‘Immigrant Style’?’

The illegal immigrant replies ‘You send bill to Government.’

[CSM]

Thanks. Here's my try:

[CSM]

Shees, I stink at this.....

[Arrowhead1952]

Here is what it should look like. Right click on the picture [hosted on the internet] and click on the properties for the picture. The location for this picture is

http://media.townhall.com/Townhall/Car/b/varv10162008a.jpg

Add the <img src=

in front of the url.

Then just add the > at the end to look like this.

<img src=http://media.townhall.com/Townhall/Car/b/varv10162008a.jpg>

[B-Chan]

[B-Chan]

[B-Chan]

[B-Chan]

[B-Chan]

[B-Chan]

[B-Chan]

LONGCAT
IS
LONG

[B-Chan]

LOL

[TexasCajun]

Now that’s funny!!

[Lady Jag]

[dragonblustar]

LMAO!!!! I needed that Looterman laugh! Thank you!