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The 15 Creepiest Vintage Ads Of All Time
Retro Comedy ^ | Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Posted on 07/31/2009 6:30:47 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666

What do murder, pedophilia, suicide and a baby tiger have in common? They have all been used to sell stuff in these amazingly disturbing vintage ads!

These are real, untouched advertisements from the good old days. It doesn't matter if it's lovely ladies or adorable clowns, somehow these old-time ad wizards found ways to traumatize us while pedaling everyday products.

Enjoy them now, call your therapist later!


15. White Bread Demon
"Bread is swell, but what I'm really excited about is eating jelly made from the blood of the innocent!"


14. French Suicide Sausage
It's enough to make you want to eat Kosher forever.


13. A Girl Around The House
It's nice to have a girl around the house... especially if you are a psychopath serial killer who makes women into rugs!



12. Chubby
Who needs self-esteem when you can have a free fashion book for chubbies? Also, proving that advertising weight representation has always been screwed up, the girl pictured is totally not chubby.


11. Christmas Weapons
The family that guns together, has funs together.



10. Eye patch. Shirt. Baby Tiger.
Sexy?


9. Chase & Sandborn Spanking
She totally deserves it. Seriously, what kind of woman doesn't "store test" for fresher coffee?


8. Fry's Chocolate Nightmare
Nothing wants to make consumers buy chocolate more than 5 faces of a sickly kid looking 5 different shades of miserable.


7. Root Beer Baby!
Mama, please DO NOT give your baby another glass of Root Beer. It is clearly doing something horrible to him. He is terrifying.



6. Locked Out
You better wash out your privates with Lysol, or your husband will install cartoon locks on the door.


5. Pears Soap Disaster
"Pears Soap- now with such a soothing lather, you won't notice that your baby has gotten into a horrible accident!"


4. Postage Meter Murder
"Is it always illegal to kill a woman?" This is a truly important question and makes us want to buy a new postage meter.


3. Shave Yourself
The old man baby's gonna sing karaoke into a razor! Hooray!


2. Baby Soft
JonBenét Ramsey, eat your heart out. (Too soon?) This ad makes us want to scream, gouge out our eyes and then barf.


1. Chocolate Poulain
Drink that cocoa, or this clown will murder you in your sleep.


Special thanks to Weirdomatic, Livejournal & the fabulous Plan 59 !



TOPICS: History; Humor; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: ads; advertising; creepy; disturbing; old; strange
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Almost a month old but I didn't see it posted (search) and thought it would be a good Friday type of thread.
1 posted on 07/31/2009 6:30:48 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

mark


2 posted on 07/31/2009 6:34:14 AM PDT by Former Proud Canadian (How do I change my screen name now that we have the most conservative government in the world?)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

BUMP!

I am a BIG fan of Plan 59!


3 posted on 07/31/2009 6:35:00 AM PDT by Constitution Day (Eschew exclamatory abuse.)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
WOW.....Just damn!
4 posted on 07/31/2009 6:35:02 AM PDT by gimme1ibertee (Time to CLEAN HOUSE (AND Senate!!!) Kick their butts to the curb!!)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

bttt


5 posted on 07/31/2009 6:35:35 AM PDT by petercooper (GOP: Big Tent Party??? Not if you are a CONSERVATIVE.)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

Some of those made me gasp — were they acceptable in society then? To show a man spanking his wife? A baby holding a razor? A tiger rug with a woman’s head and a man’s foot on it?

Woah


6 posted on 07/31/2009 6:36:43 AM PDT by SoftballMominVA
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

LOL! The #11 to #10 sequence makes sense.


7 posted on 07/31/2009 6:38:46 AM PDT by ScottinVA
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Comment #8 Removed by Moderator

To: the_devils_advocate_666
Photobucket

Photobucket

Photobucket

9 posted on 07/31/2009 6:39:19 AM PDT by Notary Sojac (I quit voting for RINOs when the GOP gave us Bob Dole. Have not voted for one since...)
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To: Slings and Arrows

.....


10 posted on 07/31/2009 6:39:55 AM PDT by KoRn (Department of Homeland Security, Certified - "Right Wing Extremist")
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

OMG that Love’s Baby Soft ad! And the baby under the tub! WTH??


11 posted on 07/31/2009 6:40:28 AM PDT by retrokitten (I want to rock your gypsy soul just like way back in the days of old...- Into the Mystic)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

12 posted on 07/31/2009 6:41:23 AM PDT by maggief
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To: SoftballMominVA
Some of those made me gasp — were they acceptable in society then? To show a man spanking his wife?

Why even bother to have a wife if you can't spank her?

13 posted on 07/31/2009 6:41:41 AM PDT by South Hawthorne (In Memory of my Dear Friend Henry Lee II)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
Absolutely nothing wrong with this ad:

14 posted on 07/31/2009 6:41:59 AM PDT by Red in Blue PA (If guns cause crime, then all of mine are defective!)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

This reminds me of the stuff on James Lilek’s site, http://www.lileks.com.


15 posted on 07/31/2009 6:42:40 AM PDT by Disambiguator
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To: SoftballMominVA

I know! “Is it always illegal to kill a woman?” WTH????


16 posted on 07/31/2009 6:42:57 AM PDT by retrokitten (I want to rock your gypsy soul just like way back in the days of old...- Into the Mystic)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666

I don’t think the root beer ad is that bad.


17 posted on 07/31/2009 6:43:12 AM PDT by nuconvert ( Khomeini promised change too // Hail, Chairman O)
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To: SoftballMominVA
I used to have a copy of the Chase and Sanborn "Store Test" ad hanging on my bulletin board at work, but the HR weenies made me take it down. They just don't understand irony...
18 posted on 07/31/2009 6:44:38 AM PDT by bondjamesbond (Don't blame me... I voted for PALIN!)
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To: the_devils_advocate_666
Okay, I'll bite.

14, 13, 8, 5, 2, and 1 are disturbing or just bizarre...especially #'s 2 and 13, but the rest are just consistent with feelings at the time they were published.It is unfair to judge old ads by today's standards.

As for the foreign ads, well...there's no accounting for foreigners.
19 posted on 07/31/2009 6:46:32 AM PDT by Sudetenland (Without God there is no freedom, for what rights man can give, he can take away.)
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To: SoftballMominVA

You have to read the fine print to appreciate this #6. Click on the image to get a larger view (I couldn’t seem to get it to post here).


20 posted on 07/31/2009 6:46:33 AM PDT by the_devils_advocate_666
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