(-:~ThE oFfIcIaL fRiDaY sIlLiNeSs ThReAd~:-)

[Lucky9teen]

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."

2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back to me!"

4. My Mother taught me LOGIC...
"If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

7. My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You're just like your father."

10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And last but not least...

12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you....Then you'll see what it's like!"

Things Mom Would Never Say
1. "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?"
2. "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too"
3. "Just leave all the lights on ... it makes the house look more cheery"
4. "Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week"
5. "Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed and walk him every day"
6. "Well, if Timmy's mom says it's OK, that's good enough for me."
7. "The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm running a prison around here."
8. "I don't have a tissue with me ... just use your sleeve"
9. "Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve"

DIY, but Mom's Way
While assembling furniture, my friend Debbie asked her roommate's five-year-old son to bring her a screwdriver.

"Do you want a 'Daddy' screwdriver or a 'Mommy' screwdriver?" the little boy asked.

Confused but preoccupied, Debbie absentmindedly said, "Bring me a 'Mommy' screwdriver."

The child came back and handed her a butter knife.

Head of the Household
My husband, Jeff, and I incurred several problems while assembling our new computer system, so we called the help desk. The man on the phone started to talk to Jeff in computer jargon, which confused us even more.

"Sir," my husband politely said, "please explain what I should do as if I were a four-year-old."

"Okay," the computer technician replied. "Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone?"

Peace and Quiet
Aunt Karen is the mother of two high-spirited young girls. When I called her one morning, our conversation was constantly interrupted by the din of kids screaming and chasing each other. "Could you hold on for a moment?" my aunt finally asked, putting down the phone.

Within ten seconds all I could hear was absolute silence. Then, "Okay, I'm back."

"But it's so quiet!" I exclaimed. "You must have complete control over those two."

"Not really," my aunt confessed wearily. "I'm in the closet."

Mom's Where
One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son Brian noticed that his mother had gone out. In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party."

This explanation satisfied him for only a moment. Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?"

I've always given my son honest answers, so I figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, Brian," I said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other."

Brian nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime. Then he burst into laughter. "Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?"


Nap Time Notes

You turn the knob of the front door and push.
The door gives about a foot before meeting resistance. You have to slide in sideways through the opening to enter the family room. It's dark except for the light given off by the television. Credits from some animated classic roll by. Stumbling over a building block castle, you reach the end table and turn on the lamp.

Big mistake.
Now you have a full view of the entire family room. Toys and school clothes cover the floor. An assortment of uncoastered half full pop cans line the coffee table. Sighing, you look around for the remote. Unable to locate it you try a manual shut down of the VCR and TV. The finger you hit the rewind button with is covered in...oh no, peanut butter. You go to the kitchen to get a dish cloth wondering what became of the nutritious, if not delicious, casserole that was supposed to be dinner.

Another big mistake.
The more aptly named mess hall is in worse shape than the family room. The table is topped with U-shaped sandwich crusts and milk ringed cups. Someone obviously tried finger painting with grape jelly on the high chair tray. After clearing the table you try loading the dishwasher only to find a black gooey casserole in the plate rack. Tackling the kitchen in the morning seems like a better plan. You head for the bathroom.

Big mistake number three.
Little blue blobs of bubblegum toothpaste line the sink. The tub is filled with soap scum and toys. Wet washcloths dangle and drip over the shower curtain rod. Disgusted, you leave the bathroom. In the hallway you notice a pale illumination coming from the bedroom. The familiar sounds of fingers on a keyboard and a mouse clicking greet your ears. You step over your husband's shoes and socks.

"Hi Hon. How was your Mom's night out?"
"Fine... What happened here?"
"The usual. Dinner, bath and bed," he reports. "Oh, the casserole got a little burned. I guess I didn't hear the timer go off." He looks up from the monitor. "But, I took care of it. Fed the girls some PB & J...Even put the casserole thingy in the washer."
(Is that pride you see in his face?)
"But, the house..."
"I know, it's a little messy. I started to pick up, but the baby started getting fussy. When I finally got her quiet,
it was bath time..."
('Welcome to my world,' you think.)
"The other two were so keyed up tonight. I don't know what their problem was, but it took forever for them to settle down and go to sleep."
"That'll happen when they have sugar sandwiches for supper."
(Did I say that out loud?)
"Other than that, no problem. I don't know why you make such a big deal about staying home all day with the kids."
Your eyes glaze over. Your fists clench. Your world turns red.
"Hon?...What is it, dear?....Liz?...NOoooooo!!!

[Lucky9teen]

[ShadowAce]

IBTP Again!! WooHoo!!!!!

[Pan_Yan]

IBTP

[Lucky9teen]

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ON TO FRIDAY SILLINESS

CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

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Happy Mothers Day my FReeper FRiends!!!

The Most CLASSIC Mothers Day video - EVER!

[Dacula]

Top 10

[Bean Counter]

Top Ten!

[CPOSharky]

IBTP 3 in a row?

[acad1228]

top ten two weeks in a row
!!!

[samiam1972]

In!

[starlifter]

top ten. holy crap

[Monkey Face]

IN!

[JRios1968]

Top 10?

[ShadowAce]

You Know You've Turned Into a Mom When...

You automatically double-knot everything you tie.

You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes.

You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school!

You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce.

You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you.

You get soooo into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells.

You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, "Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?"

You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak!

[holly go-rightly]

thank you! I love Friday Silliness, you rock for posting it!

[ShadowAce]

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes -

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name -

1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.

2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!

Preparing for the Birth -

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette -

1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries -

1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Activities -

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out -

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home -

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

[Daffynition]

[dead]

[ShadowAce]

Who is a better mother?

[Monkey Face]

That is the funniest Mother’s Day clip I’ve ever seen, moreso because it is so true!

Happy Mother’s Day!!

[gnickgnack2]

SWEEEEEEET